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WARNING: This post is self indulgent and poorly written. Keep out of reach of small children and pets. If gotten in eyes please consult physician immediately.
Last Sunday night (when all the dorms are closed for dinner) I biked down to an Indian restaurant on campus for my meal. The meal was all right, but I have to say the overall experience didn’t exactly thrill me. You see I haven’t exactly made a lot of friends lately, not that it really bugs me that much since most of the friendships I’ve seen develop here are really rather shallow and based more on desperation than common interest. The only thing is that when I say “haven’t exactly made a lot of friends” I mean “I’ve made no friends” Once again, I’m not put off that much because I don’t have that much time and there are a few people that seem to be going that direction (I always take a while to get new friends). And at this Indian restaurant I got rather a… reminder of exactly how many friends I had made.
When I walked in I saw a few groups of people sitting together, but there was one guy by himself so I didn’t feel like a total looser. The waiter seated me in the corner of the restaurant to start the dinner off. Ouch. Then, after my meal had started the one other guy by himself got up and greeted 3 friends and they joined his table. Ouch number 2. Then, as I walk out, I realize I’d gotten sauce from my dinner on my shirt just as a huge group of student walked by. Ouch, Ouch, Ouch.
Really it hasn’t been that bad, so you don’t have to feel that sorry for me. But that experience does do a pretty good job summing up my social life so far. Lucky for me, there’s more to college than social life, learning, remember? And classes have been OK. My Math teacher is from Argentina and has a really cool accent that is surprisingly understandable. Also, one of my computer teachers (a computer class for civil engineers) is great; no non-sense, up-front kind of guy who knows what he’s talking about. Also, there is a really nice girl in that class that I actually know…
I have another engineering teacher that I managed to get twice (since he’s responsible for a lot of the freshman engineering honors classes) whose been a complete dope so far. He might know what he’s talking about, in fact he probably does, but you wouldn’t know it by being in one of his classes. All he’s said so far is how radically different his class is from high school and that he doesn’t teach, he lays groundwork. I have to admit, he partially right on that one. I belief he’s used the word “engage” over 20 times in 3 classes.
But over all, things aren’t going that poorly. I’ve discovered a few bike routes that are less trafficked, and while I’m still getting yelled at, it’s been less common. So things are looking up for me now, let’s just hope the path stays inclined.
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It's too early to tell if any of the people you've met will become your friends, but it's not too early to hang out with people you meet in the hopes that they might be friend-worthy.
If your engineering faculty is like mine, though, you'll wind up with engineers for friends, and only engineers Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
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Have you gotten involved with some co-curriculars you might enjoy? That would probably help a bit.
Posts: 4292 | Registered: Jan 2001
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^ | | | I second what she said. You'll find that your best friendships will just sneak up on you. You won't be able to plan them ahead of time or even see them coming. Those are the best kind. So just sit back, work hard and have fun whenever you can. I LOVE college. Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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Give it time Hobbesy. Amd how many friendships start at the deep and meaningful level? There's nothing wrong with a little desperation now and again
But still. I remember my first year of school and I sympathize. There's even an Indian restaurnant on the campus plaza that I used to eat alone at Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Oh. Our little Hobbes all grown up and going to college.
*sniff*
You'll get into the swing of things before you know it. Don't, however, let yourself get sucked into the engineering world before you have a chance to meet anyone else. Make fun with some wacky liberal arts types just to keep you sane. It's hard to meet people by just hanging around, so join a club or an intramural team. Or tell some Mormons you're interested in learning more - you'll never have a moment's peace for the rest of your life. Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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How many other freshman at Purdue can say they are friends with celia, the evilest woman in all the world?
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
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<grin> That 10 minute chat did do me in Celia.
As for clubs and the like, i've been thinking of joining the bike club, but I've been getting some e-mails from them about plans for rides and it sounds like I couldn't even keep up with them on their "recovery days" Maybe I still will but I kind of don't think so.
As for wacky liberal arts types, I could just be friends with my English teacher. The class I have before English is the engineering class taught by the (likable) no-nonsense construction manager. The English teacher has mentioned that meditation will be a regular part of our class; which just about sums her up.
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Ya know, I've always been a loner, and some of my least favorite memories of college are from those first few months of my freshmean year. Some are still pretty poignant. I guess being a loner doesn't bother me quite as much anymore because of one thing: I have a wife who's my best friend, and two little munchkins who are thrilled to see me when I walk in the door after work. I know that's not much comfort to you, Hobbes, as you try to get that curry sauce out of your shirt. Maybe it'll be a heavy burden to carry from time to time. But I had some good times in college, and I did make friends?once they came out of the woodwork like I did. If you're not the popular type you won't have the popular friends who strut around so visibly all the time. You'll find the quiet ones. That's OK, too.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Really, I made it sound worse than it is. Only one thing has happened that was worse than my "Indian Experience", and since it's a funny story, I'm telling it!
In my engaging proffesor's clas he had us divide into groups of 3 or 4 people. Because I was in a row with 5 people and they all divided up kind of werid, two of us were left without a group. Then the professor asks if anyone hasn't found a group, so we raise our hands and he brings us to the front of a class of about 70 people and asks in a lout voice "Are these the only two people who haven't found a group?" *silience* "All right, you two go sit over there in the corner and be a group of two".
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Never understood meditation, but then I found out I have OCD so that pretty well explains why (thinking about nothing doesn't work too well).
I thought you already learned more about Mormons. Is there any kind of Institute program where you are? That's where I met the Man.
I've always been a pothead magnet. (not that the Man is a pothead). I don't know what it is about me, since I've never smoked anything and only had one drink in my whole life, but the potheads just love me. It's probably because I have the same bewildering looks as a lava lamp.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I don't really have a problem with meditation, but actually doing it in an English class...not what I had in mind.
quote:I thought you already learned more about Mormons.
I have, there's an Institue on campus that has normal service every Sunday (followed by lunch at 12:00 ).
quote:I guess being a loner doesn't bother me quite as much anymore because of one thing: I have a wife who's my best friend, and two little munchkins who are thrilled to see me when I walk in the door after work.
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Sorry, I didn't mean to make you envious. That was my ray of hope.
I cannot stand breaking up into groups. I hate it hate it hate it. Unless we're doing a meaningful project together over a long period of time, I find it absolutely unproductive and uncomfortable. Ugh. Whoever thought that small group discussion, when it was forced on you, was ever going to work? You have to go through the rigamorale of picking a group spokesperson, and then somebody has to kind of take charge, and everyone else just sits back and grimaces. You have to somehow sit together, which is often impossible in a classroom. Totally unproductive. I never got anything out of exercises like that, even when I was the one trying to rally the troops before the 5 minute deadline was up and we had to present what we "discovered."
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Ughh, I agree on those discussions. And I always end up having to be the person to do all the talking and when nobody starts working I just strat doing it and then people get mad because I'm doing it all mytself. Grrrrrr!
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I still stand by my extra-curriculars suggestion. Colleges have tons of groups, and one like Purdue probably has clubs and organizations that number in the hundereds. There must be a few in there you'd enjoy, and I belive it is about the easiest way to meet new people.
I used to hate making groups in class in high school, but in college I really enjoy it. People are a bit more tactful, and you don't really run the risk of anyone saying "No, you can't join our group!"
I suppose the value of small group works does depend on the type of class, though. It seems good for social science or humanities class for a small debate over a topic, but not so good when you actually have to do something. Groups aren't needed so much in my classes at Beloit, because most of them are small enough to hold a good full-class discussion. When I was taking summer classes at a larger school, though, and had classes of over fifty students, I found them to be the best part of a class. I could voice my opinion and hear what others thought of it within a small group so much better.
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haha, and i sat through all those workshops where they told us how great it was when we broke you into groups...
Posts: 3956 | Registered: Jun 2001
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You know what? I was jsut thinking today on my drive back down the canyon, for no apparent reason - "Man, I really hate splitting up into groups. Why can't I just work peacably by myself?"
I'd definitely recommend the weird institute friends. And lunch is a plus. You see, the entire goal of a single Mormon girl's existence is to cook for hungry boys. I mean it. That's what we're programmed to do as soon as we turn 18. Well, some of us take a little longer to get proficient at it, but every single one of us starts out the first week of college with at least one batch of cookies. Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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<grin> Last Sunday it was Elder's Quorum's turn to serve lunch. Everything you would expect is true.
Seriously though, I've met a few people at the Church that might become friendsd but even though Purdue is around 40,000 students, there's probably about 20-30 students total (all years) at Institute, besides which, I hope I can make friends outside the Church too...
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A couple hours ago I went to Purdue's Cycling Club call-out meeting. Now I have to decide if I want to join. Fundemantly I want to, it's just that everything about my cycling is completely inferior. From my bicycle to my riding gear to me actual riding skills I just don't compare (I think) with everyone else on the club so I might just be that one stupid guy at the back whose slowing everyone down. I'm not sure what to do
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Go! You'll definitely improve. A grad student I knew decided to join the bicycle team (while I was at University of IL) and she really enjoyed it. Practicing twice a week or so, she was up to speed within a month and although not making first place, was still a valuable member of the team. The one thing I would caution is that since bicycle "clubs" are not technically athletic sports, the school doesn't pay for your meets. Towards the end of the year, she was paying for participation fees and hotel stays for every meet she went to which got quite costly.
Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Have you gone to any parties yet? That should not be the focus of college, but sometimes it works. If you go and decide it sucks, you can always leave. If you find that you enjoy that type of situation, there will always be parties, at least on the weekends. Unfortunately, you will probably not find anyone who wants to talk about deep stuff, but you could very well find a few people with whom you want to hang out with anyway.
Or if you have already tried this and decided you disliked it, then forget about it and do something else. But when I say "tried", I mean relatively recently. I am not the biggest fan of parties either, but they can be very fun. Also, they seem to get better as one gets a bit older.
Posts: 1364 | Registered: Feb 2003
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I'll probably e-mail one of the people in charge and see what they think about this.
As for parties, I just don't rerally want to go to any of the parties that are going on right now. If people want to get drunk and what not that's their choice but I just don't really want to be there. I know that not all college parties are like that but all the ones around now seem to be.
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Well, if you have a problem with any drinking, that is fine. But believe it or not, there are people who will drink one or two drinks just for the social factor. These are generally the people you should seek out. Not that I am encouraging you to drink, though.
Posts: 1364 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Muff. If you're not in the mood for advice, then feel free to skim over this and roll your eyes =).
About making friends in your dorm (you live in a dorm?): keep your door open whenever you're in there. Play interesting music at medium volume to encourage people to stop by and start a conversation about what you're listening to. If there are a few quiet and nice looking people you've seen around in your dorm, maybe ask them to play cards with you some night to break the ice.
Out of the 80 people in my freshman dorm, I made friends with three of them. They all still mean a great deal to me, even though I only truly keep in touch with one of them (I'm two years out of college).
Of course, I don't happen to have any Med school friends (insert empathy here). It's really my fault. I have several good friends who are still in the area or are currently undergraduates, so I don't feel the urge to bend over backwards becoming friends with my fellow students. But I really ought to. I try to go to social events, chat with acquaintences, that sort of thing. I think this year I'll start bringing my lunch with me so I can eat lunch with them.
The vast majority of my friends came from the program house I joined (that Mike and Beca were both in): Technology House. Full of computer science majors, awkward social rejects, engineering freaks, bandies, D&D people, nerd-wannabe's, and dysfunctional misfits... it's wonderful. So there's a chance there's something like that just waiting for you to find it.
Posts: 1892 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Hobbes, definitely ask someone in charge about whether you would slow down the bike club. They may have a group of more beginner types or have more informal rides for beginners. Plus all of the biking fanatics started somewhere sometime too. And they often have spare parts lying around too. With some barters you may have an upgraded bike pretty easily.
Incidentally I'm going to try to ride at least one bike route to work this weekend. It's about a 13 mile ride and I need to time it to see how long it is going to take me in my out of shape state. Plus I have a couple of route ideas but I'm not sure which one will actually be the best.
You will be fine. Late night group card games in your dorm lounge, like spades, oh hell or others are a great way to get to know people too.
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My advice for surviving engineering classes is to really take note of your profs quirks. They will be great for entertaining your classmates at some later time or for just general fond memories. We had a cs prof that would frequently say "Everybody With Me" which was made more amusing by the fact he'd often do that after doing some complicated step very quickly. So instead of guessing how many times it happened we just started counting. One of my friends actually created a website. http://www.thepests.com/cgi-bin/deog-o-meter.pl
Also sometimes it's okay to be friends with people who you don't have *tons* in common with. I was friends with this group of girls out of desparation to start with. We spent lots of time just hanging out in our hallway. Pretty soon we did have stuff in common, or learned about stuff we did have in common. And they're now some of my closest friends even though I've moved away. I've learned so much from all of them. Anyway the first year or so at a new place is always hard. I hope things get better.
Posts: 872 | Registered: Mar 2002
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quote:"This means that you must have sex or you will explode. So, you ugly people in the front row, sorry."
i was going to link to my collection of quotes from prof's, but i don't have anything nearly that funny!
i had a materials class sophomore year with a lunatic. i was one of about 3 undergrads to actually get an a, and i passed my notebook on to the next class. it was full of quotes of insane things he said during class, and a few doodles of his more absurd lectures. the girl i gave it to would take it to class and follow along adding her own notes to mine. one day she turned the page and found a full page drawing of an interstitial professor defect (lattice structure with one big fat molecule looking remarkably like the prof) and had to choke back laughter. of course, that made everyone around her glance at her notebook and giggle.
i wonder if that notebook is still out there. i hope so.
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One of the best things with the quote page happened when we gave Prof Akim Reinhardt a link tohis page on his class evaluation (yes he did deserve a page of his own). Apparently he not only looked at it he distributed it to his friends from home. We had people dropping by our bulletin board telling us to take another class with him so they could read more great stuff.
Posts: 872 | Registered: Mar 2002
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haha, I had a link to my website on my resume for a while. I handed it to Shutzenhofer to pass along to some guys with drafting work, and one of them found my quotes page and printed it out for him. The next time he said something silly in class, he flicked his pointer at me and said, "and don't quote me on that."
Most of the site has been stripped, but the quotes are still there.
Posts: 3956 | Registered: Jun 2001
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That's really funny. I had a prof once who said, "And sometimes you can get away with not-so-factual writing as long as it sounds good. Always remember - you go to MSU. You know what that stands for? Make Stuff Up."
I also had this english teacher in high school who would make us keep "character lists" of every book we read - every time a new character appeared, we had to create a profile for them on our list. This teacher was also quite fond of telling stories to illustrate points in class. My friends and I thought it would be fun to keep a character list of his lectures, which we did, and by the end of the year had it fully indexed, footnoted and typed up. He started getting really unnerved when he'd start rambling about his friend Gary and we would raise our hands and say "your friend Gary Shelton who graduated from NDSU with you in 1978?" It was priceless.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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But that experience does do a pretty good job summing up my social life so far. Lucky for me, there’s more to college than social life, learning, remember? ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
And classes have been OK. My Math teacher is from Argentina and has a really cool accent that is surprisingly understandable. Also, one of my computer teachers (a computer class for civil engineers) is great; no non-sense, up-front kind of guy who knows what he’s talking about. Also, there is a really nice girl in that class that I actually know… ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Maybe I still will but I kind of don't think so. ![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
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