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Topic: I can't help myself, I'm sorry

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

I do not know if this is an illness of all who have the writing bug, but it is a problem I have.

When I get an idea for a plot or a story or a poem, I have to write it down, somewhere, preferably where others will see it.

Some of it is not really worthy of being written down, but it won't go away until I do.

So I do.

Here it is.

Rudolph the Insane Reindeer

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen
Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen

But do you recall,
The most deadly reindeer of all

Bu-dum-dum-dum

Rudolph the upset reindeer
Had a very shiny gun
And if you ever saw it
My suggestion is to run

All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any “Reindeer Games.”

Then one moon lit Christmas Eve
Rudolph went insane
First he took his old shotgun
And blew out Blitzen’s brain

All of the other Reindeer
All began to run and flee
“Rudolf” barked the Swat reindeer.
“Take him down. He’s Hisssss Tooooorrrrr Eeeeeeee”

or if you prefer

Rudolph the Pimpin Reindeer

Rudolph the Pimp'n Reindeer
Had himself some reindee ho's
And if you ever saw him
You would say his bling-bling glows.

All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call his name
When they wanted some cute ho's
For some kinky reindeer game.

Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say.
Rudolph with you ho's so right
Let's party throughout the night

Then how the reindeer loved him
As they shouted from each stall
"Rudolph the pimp'n cowboy
Love, and Peace Ya'all."

.
Just be happy I haven't had this urge to finish,
Frosty the Demon

{There must have been some magic
In that ancient tome they found
For when they spilt that virgin blood
He began to dance around.)

[Edited to meet my editor's exacting requirements. #$@#$ SM editor]

[ December 10, 2003, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]

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sarcasticmuppet
Member
Member # 5035

posted

Woot! I'm a #$@#$!!!

Good stuff, by the way. I'm partial to Frosty the demon.

[ December 10, 2003, 05:03 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]

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BannaOj
Member
Member # 3206

posted

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katharina
Member
Member # 827

posted

*laugh* Frosty the Demon is my favorite.

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odouls268
Member
Member # 2145

posted

You would SO get kicked out of a public school for that these days.

zero tolerance, remember?

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MyrddinFyre
Member
Member # 2576

posted

Hmmm, I cant wait to try to teach these to my friends [Smile]

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Eruve Nandiriel
Member
Member # 5677

posted

We have a recording of my uncle (when he was about 5) singing "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" and getting it mixed up with "Larry the Shiny Gun Cowboy". It sounded a lot like your "Rudolph the insane Reindeer".

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Raia
Member
Member # 4700

posted

That is HILARIOUS!

Wow, you rock!

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Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051

posted

I suppose most of you have probably heard "Leroy the Redneck Reindeer", which plays at Cracker Barrel every night now...

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Eaquae Legit
Member
Member # 3063

posted

Please finish that Frosty the Demon one, please, I beg you...

Oh, my sides hurt...

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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

Please finish Frosty the Demon. Please!

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Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Frosty the Demon
Was hungry for some souls
With a corncob pipe and a crooked nose
And two eyes like glowing coals

Frosty the Demon
Is a fairytale they say
He was made of snow
But the children know
How he took their lives that day

There must have been some magic
In that ancient tome they found
For when they spilled that virgin blood
He began to dance around

Frosty the Demon
Was alive as he could be
And the children say
He could laugh and play
As he burned them endlessly

Frosty the Demon
Knew that he was hot that day
So he said "do run
And I'll have some fun
Now before you melt away"

Down to the village
With a pitchfork in his hand
Running here and there
All around the square
Slaying children was his plan

He hunted'm down
In every street of town
Right to the traffic cop
And he only paused a moment then
To make the cop's heart stop

Frosty the Demon
Had to hurry on his way
But he waved one fist
Saying to those he missed
"I'll be back for YOU some day"

Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Look at Frosty, wow
Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
He's after you right now.

(They made me write this.)

[ December 11, 2003, 03:19 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]

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Bob_Scopatz
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Member # 1227

posted

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MyrddinFyre
Member
Member # 2576

posted

That just about sums it up, Bob [Smile]

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Olivet
Member
Member # 1104

posted

Wow. Those are funny.

Bwhahahahahahaha-snort-hahahahaha

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rivka
Member
Member # 4859

posted

<-- that's laughing so hard I cried

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Storm Saxon
Member
Member # 3101

posted

You should totally sing those while you're doing your clown act, Dan.

Awesome, awesome stuff. [Smile]

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Toretha
Member
Member # 2233

posted

ROFL! that's...hilarious! WOW. I love it!

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Nick
Member
Member # 4311

posted

On a serious not Dan_raven, you should publish these. I'm serious. Somebody else could take credit for them. Besides, if you publish them, I can email them to everyone I know for humor and then give you credit for the writing. [Big Grin]

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Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Since these songs are ripping off of other published works, owned by an organization known to be legally proactive where their own copyrights are concerned, I do not know if I want to attach my name to firmly to these.

Then again...

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katharina
Member
Member # 827

posted

Dan, I sent this to the woman I work with. Her exact response, while smiling but looking worried, was, "Yes, I read it. You know him? He needs help. You need to do something for him - you need to help him."

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Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

She may be right.

Muahahahahaahahahhah!!!

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Pixie
Member
Member # 4043

posted

Those are great!!!! ::laughs:: My mum cried she was laughing so hard when I read them to her.

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AndrewR
Member
Member # 619

posted

You are a sick person, Dan. Sick, sick, sick...
[ROFL]

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