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I was just wondering, though, about how you feel about college education and/or how I changed how you felt about it...*curious*

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Kasie, I didn't want to derail your thread, so I thought a new thread for your question might be better.

Okay, I'll have to call on your broadmindedness, because to say how you changed my perception, I'll have to confess what my previous perception was, and it wasn't very complimentary. Which is what I meant by saying I didn't know if I could explain without making it sound like a backhanded compliment.

I used to see you as a smart young girl. That's a genuine compliment, but not too huge, because it's pretty obvious, and I used to think of myself that way when I was that age. I was a decent writer then, too, so I could see a lot of my younger self in your posts. So it probably pushed a few buttons when you posted things that I could *totally* see my 17 year old self writing. From the condescension of my mid-30's self, though, I could see what I saw as fallacies of thought, of immaturity in you, and full of the idea that I might be able to save someone I don't even really know but fearfully identify with the pain I put myself through in my late teens and 20's, I found myself at odds with you far more vociferously than was probably necessary. I'd have to go back and see what things I actually did post, but I know there were a number of things I *didn't* post, even though I drafted them. And there were things I didn't even bother to draft, but had to walk away from, I was so agitated. I built a picture of you that was of a very smart girl, articulate and clever, thoughtful and methodical, yet missing key elements of maturity that I felt could really hurt you for some of the adult decisions you posted that you were making.

I never went to college. I was too afraid when I was that age, and when I got older and was ready to be in school again, I got pregnant. You are clearly not like that. You appear to know what you want and have goals for your future, where at my mid-30's I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I suspect I'll be 70 when I finally get around to getting my degree. At your age, I could not see the value of higher education, and though some of my vision for that has changed over the years, I can see that it hasn't changed enough. In the meantime, as I watch you grow, really, as the image I have of you changes into quite a mature young woman, one who gracefully respects those opinions she does not share, but can still see the value of, I have greater respect for what I never took advantage of when I had the opportunity. And I can dimly see the young woman I might have been, had I been a little more mature, a little bit smarter, a little more brave.

Celia and AJ have really been great examples to me of what a college education can do for a woman. But Kasie, nothing has changed my view of college and young women as much as you have. I'm not much for ego threads, but I'd really like to thank you for helping me reach an altered state.

(and I'll say that this was actually almost harder to write and post than my first landmark thread) I'd like to dedicate this thread to not only Kasie lovin', but to the altered states we who oppose each other eventually sometimes bring.

Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | 

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I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to this post...I wasn't exactly sure what to say.

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But Kasie, nothing has changed my view of college and young women as much as you have. I'm not much for ego threads, but I'd really like to thank you for helping me reach an altered state.

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jeniwren, thank you. As frustrating as Hatrack can be, it's stuff like this (and, not to sound trite, but people like you) that make it worth it.

Belle and jeniwren (and pooka if this applies to you..*honestly doesn't know*),
I have learned so much from both of you. Please help me remember to have my children thank you someday, because I know listening to you has helped me learn so many different ways to be an great parent. If I am half the mother you two are, I'll have done good. (Belle, this only applies if you convince your daughter to read & love Ender's Game... ).

pooka,

Maybe you hit on my secret way of surviving Hatrack -- I'd forgotten entirely that it was you who posted the particular line I got angry about. You say you once pissed me off....I was honestly surprised when your post reminded me the words I reacted to were yours. Somehow your post was totally separated from how I saw you as a person....I've always really respected and admired you.

twinky,



BtL,

As many times as I got angry at my mother for repeating, in an infuriatingly calm voice, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar," she was right. This thread is proof, apparently, because although I often disagree with many of the people who've posted here, they still like me (and I, despite my inability to find sufficient words, have equal respect and admiration for all of the people who have posted on this thread).

So no, I try not to piss people off. Because after all, I'm trying to convince them that I'm right. And being nice is the best way to do that...

Seriously, though. Hatrack in general and a few people here in particular have really challenged the way I think about the world and the people in it. In a lot of ways and on a lot of issues, I too have reached an "altered state" -- so thank you all.

Posts: 1784 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | 

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Lalo: I have to agree with Jeniwren.

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I'm going to frame this and put it on my bedside table.

Of course it's a bit of a cheat, because he'd be silly not to agree with me on something so evident, but I'll take what I can get.

(((Kasie))) It'll be so cool to see what your daughters are like someday.

Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged |