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Dallas has a reservoir within it's boundaries called White Rock Lake. A trail circumnavigates all 13 miles of the lake's border, and this morning I decided to go for a walk/run in the morning sun.
At one bend of the trail, I saw a man on a lawn chair, in shorts and a t-shirt, next to a sign proclaiming "FREE ADVICE." I stopped and we chatted.
This guy and his buddy have been doing this for eight and a half years - every Sunday, he takes the morning shift and his friend takes the afternoon shift, and they spend Sunday handing out free advice to anyone who stops to ask. The most often-asked questions are about jobs and money, and the relationships are a close second. Running gets tossed in there too. Some people come every Sunday for their dose, and most just ask a few questions and move on.
He said he started this as a way to feel involved with the community. They've been on the news three times and lost count of the newspaper articles about them. There's no promises, and he's dressed like any other runner, and this is his hobby.
I love it.
I most certainly did stop and ask advice (I can't discuss it owing to Kat's Rule of Life #6: Never discuss love life on Hatrack), and he gave me some very decent advice that I can actually do that fits within my personal rules of self-respect. He also told me I quite clearly didn't know what I was doing and needed practice being a relationship. That I knew, but it did increase my trust in him. I explained the religion thing and the propose-at-three-months thing which makes it so much harder to practice relationships because Mormons apparently do not believe in practice.
At the end, he asked me my first name and said to come back next Sunday if I wanted to update him and let him know how it went. He's very calm, nice smile, and I found another reason to really like Dallas.
posted
That is too cool Kat. If you are like me, sometimes the advice from friends and family seems to just roll off my back or in one ear and out the other. Inevitably, I sometimes catch snippets here and there from complete strangers or other places that tend to stick with me.
This guy deserves a desk and a chair at the very least!
Hope your next visit is as positive as this one, assuming of course, that you are going back...
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A year ago, I was on a totally harried and overworked food planning committee for a big retreat. We went to the Tim Hortons (coffee shop) to ask for some donated doughnuts, but since it's a big chain, they couldn't give them to us. A lady working behind the counter stopped us on our way out and asked "How many do you need?"
This lady working a minimum-wage job donated 6 boxes of doughnuts to a bunch of strangers. Out of the blue. She said it was a part of her religion to be giving (I think she was Muslim). I've never been stuck so dumb by such a random act of kindness. What a wonderful lady she was.
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posted
so a mormon can't date someone for more than 3 months without getting engaged (without breaking the rules)
I didn't know that. Then again, I don't know all that much about the mormon religions, so I guess that is not that surprising. Are there rules about how long you can be engaged?
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There are no rules on engagement lengths in the Mormon church. My stake president and his wife dated for five years before they got engaged.
What Katie was referring to was a joke on the stereotype that many engagements go very quickly. This is true in utah moreso than in other areas and is a cultural thing.
If that wasn't the case, Hobbes and I being at 11 months with no ring would be way over the line. As it is, we're perfectly fine and well-respected.
And the married in Vegas for the weekend thing is NOT a common occurance. A few BYU students got in trouble for it a couple years ago, but it is by no means widespread and quite frowned upon.
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I'm not very experienced but isn't 3 months kind of short? Or is that long? What is the purpose behind this law? I love learning about other religions, especially their history.
Posts: 853 | Registered: Feb 2004
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It is, of course, not codified, but a trick of the culture. Annie, there's no ring, but didn't y'all decide it was going to happen a long time ago?
On the other hand, I've been proposed to seriously five times and only dated ONE person for longer than two months. That has to say something. These people are insane.
quote:I'm not very experienced but isn't 3 months kind of short? Or is that long? What is the purpose behind this law? I love learning about other religions, especially their history.
There's a very, very heavy emphasis on getting married in the Mormon culture (due to the focus of the Church on forming families) and as a result, a large percentage of people ... well I don't want to say rush into things, but certainly take it faster than is typical outside Mormon culture, because there's a very strong desire to get married. No rules, and I would be comfortable sighting that as the origin (focus on marriage), as opposed to some sort of more interesting story.
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Sorry for all these posts in a row, I keep seeing stuff I should respond to that's separate from my previous posts so I don't want to edit it in...
quote:If that wasn't the case, Hobbes and I being at 11 months with no ring would be way over the line. As it is, we're perfectly fine and well-respected.
Speak for yourself Annie. Really I think that one of the only things that's keeping people from using force to make me ask for Annie's (beautiful) hand in marriage is that I haven't served a mission (you can't serve a mission, a two year period of time you spend away from home for the Church, if you're married, and the advice is to wait until after your mission to get engaged).
quote: Annie, there's no ring, but didn't y'all decide it was going to happen a long time ago?
*cough* I think I'll let Annie handle this hot potato.
posted
There is a man named Glenn who works at the front desk of BYU Independent Study. He's not really a security guard, maybe more like a receptionist. I think his sole purpose in being there was just to give people a friendly face and a hello as they came in. I've never met anyone more genuinely friendly than Glenn. He would ask how I was doing at least once a week, and he always told me to have a good day. He'd strike up conversations with all kinds of people and just make them feel like a million bucks.
He retired about a week and a half ago. I miss him already.
I passed his desk one day on the way to work and heard him sharing this story:
He knew a man named Forrest, and Forrest and his wife had a son, whom they named Forrest Jr. To differentiate between the two Forrests, they called the son "Little Forrest." Glenn remarked, "I told them they should have just named him Glen."
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That I knew, but it did increase my trust in him. I explained the religion thing and the propose-at-three-months thing which makes it so much harder to practice relationships because Mormons apparently do not believe in practice. 
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