posted
Just saw the movie Envy. It's a wonderful movie about inventions. I think we should pun about inventions. So, sit back, sip some Cotton Gin, and maybe a light bulb will go on over your head. I'm looking for some patently absurd stuff here folks.
posted
Do you mean like my friend, Otto? He was so sad for many years because he could not walk and could not afford a wheelchair. Some people got him one, and it was so nice to see Otto mobile.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Extremely obligatory pun, given nature of thread:
Inventions can have a tremendous impact on a culture - just think of the popeilarity of the Veg-O-Matic!
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Wilbur and Orville were convinced that the reason no one was being successful with building a flying machine was that they were going about it the wrong way.
So the brothers decided to do it the Wright way.
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
The inventor of tetrafluoroethylene polymers wanted to name his new product, "plunkston," after himself. But the name didn't stick.
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
One of the man's children liked to swim way out into the river, and would be back fish. The other liked to stay in the back-currents by the shore, and would catch nothing. No one thought he would amount to anything, but it turned out that the eddie son was a great inventor.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Recent archeological discoveries indicate the wheel was invented several thousand years earlier than previously thought.
The remains of a cart were uncovered, obviously designed to carry heavy loads. The cart had obviously become bogged down in the mud and couldn't be moved - and then abandoned, apparently for several thousand years, figuring that toting things the old-fashioned way was a lot less trouble.
The trouble is, they hadn't gotten around to domesticating horses yet.
It was the age-old problem of putting the cart before the horse.
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
The steam engine was created because people needed to be able to pull more than one full ton.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Ever noticed how products keep getting upgraded? And how the new versions are never as easy or as convenient as the old ones?
There's a reason.
Satan assigned one of his lesser lieutenants to find ways to make the life of humans more miserable. One of the greatest successes was to find a way to take a great, labor-saving, efficient device and get it so loaded down with useless bells and whistles that it became progressively harder and harder to work.
The don't call it "new and imp-proved" for nothing, you know.
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Software has something similar, where each new edition annoys more and more users. They even have a rating system for it: aversion 1, aversion 2, aversion 95, aversion XP...
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Those of you in law enforcement and jurisprudence owe a lot to the early days of railroading. Without that, we never would've had the insanity plea, or as it was known back then, the loco motive.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
The first writing of humans was all about business. The first Sumerian document discovered was a Q n A form.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
When they finally sat down to dinner, Martha Washington was fit to be tied. She had been working so hard all day, and George was just sipping at his brandy in front of the fire. As the family waited for him to arrive, his small son, who could not wait for the turkey a moment longer, yelled: "Come on, George Washington, Carve 'er up!"
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Despite his renowned sense of right and wrong, the father of Lutheranism was an incredibly poor sport when it came to board games. This was seen as a minor, forgiveable fault in such a pious man. But even his wife couldn't believe that he would cheat at checkers when playing against his own son. Finally, she could take no more and yelled from the doorway "Martin Luther, king Junior!"
end notes: The game of checkers was invented around 1100 AD.
Martin Luther was born in 1483 and died in 1546. He had six children.
posted
Someone challenged the patent on the cotton gin, claiming he had actually invented it. After the plaintiff testified, the patent examiner asked, "Well, did 'e lie, Whitney?"
posted
Charles wasn't much of a ladies man, though. He was always worried he'd rubber the wrong way.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Yes and apparently in sulphur as can be determined his pointy ears and odd v-shaped hand gesture also repelled the ladies.
Posts: 2022 | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Peopl really don;t know the full story of Eli Whitney. He was really a guy from Mexico who smuggled alcohol over the border during Prohibition. When they finally nabbed him, there were fifty gallons caught in gin.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
One of the Roman gladiators was very picky about his drinks, but he was extremely polite about it. he would say, about his Shirley Temple, "This drink should have a cherry, ought it not?"
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
When the inventor of volleyball first moved to Holyoke nd asked for some gym time, the locals in charge said, "Nay, Smith."
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
There was a florist visiting a proctologist who would only take patients on the barter system. The florist exclaimed, "So, I have to bring you a germanium before you will see my can, doctor?"
Posts: 25 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
)
