Back in the November 2003 Electronic Gaming Monthly , a group of children reviewed and played some old Atari 2600 classics, like ET, and the comments were hilarious. I wish I had a link to that article, but I do not. But here is the next best thing: the second review crew, and the comments are equally funny.
For those who grew up playing these games like I did, I hope you enjoy. Heck, I hope everybody enjoys this look at retro gaming!
Here's a sample for the unbelievers from the classic game, Defender :
Parker: You're supposed to pick the people up.
Garret: Oh, those are people. No. I think you're supposed to shoot them. Those are aliens, I think.
Parker: You have to protect them from the aliens, which are these things.
Dillon: They look like Jellyfish from Spongebob.
Garret: Oh, so the aliens pick them up, and if they're carrying them, you have to kill the aliens and catch the people. [The player shoots the people.]
Parker: Or not.
Dillon: If you shoot them, then the aliens can't get them.
EGM: If you shoot all the people, the planet gets destroyed. Then the aliens take over.
Bobby: If I was in it, I'd be like, "OK, aliens, if you give me 500 dollars you can destroy this planet."
Rachel: Only $500 dollars?
EGM: Do you feel badly shooting the humans? Parker: No, that's my only amusement in this game. If they were like more detailed, maybe I'd feel something. But it looks like I'm shooting a popcycle. EGM: Would you play this game again?
Garret: I would if I had a lot more time and could figure out the controls.
Dillon: I would if I had absolutely nothing else to do. [The screen erupts in flashes.]
Garret: Whoa! What just happened?
Parker: The Earth blew up. Remember?
Anthony: It's like everything just shattered. Oh, run. Run!
Parker: Oh, you don't have any smart bombs.
EGM: Do you know that in these types of games, people spend hours and hours trying to break world records.
Parker: Like that guy who beat Pac-Man? With the long beard?
Garret: Billy Mitchell.
EGM: What do you think of him?
Parker: He's a complete loser. Doesn't he have a mullet?
I love these children. If I ever own a sweatshop, I will make all my underage employees play old-school arcade classics and only hire the ones who make the funniest comments.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
| IP: Logged |