A massive effort to combat the greenhouse effect by shifting millions of metric tons of money to Britain begins Saturday at midnight with the release of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." And, following my successful run of predictions from last time (I got nearly one right, go me!) it's time to peer into the misty future to see what's in store for the zillions of eager book buyers already camping out at Barnes and Noble.
While I won't tell you the most shocking plot twists in the sixth book of author J. K. Rowling's best-selling series of youthful wizardry -- I didn't think Hermione would turn evil until the final book -- I can let you in on some of the other exciting events.
-- The Half-Blood Prince is revealed to be Hagrid. Not as vital to the plot as you'd expect, it just means he gets half-price mimosas at Shakey's.
Posts: 7790 | Registered: Aug 2000
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quote:-- Harry finds the sword Excalibur wrapped in an ornate carpet in the back of a wooden wardrobe next to a brass lamp and a gold ring, just to burn off the plot devices Rowling hadn't gotten around to yet.
You forgot the three blue stones and the winged sandels. But still brilliant. Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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"-- Hermione perfects the iSpell, a handheld device that can hold thousands of charms and curses while keeping the bearer both magically protected and incredibly trendy."
It was pointed out to me before publication that Diane Duane already did this in her Young Wizard books, but I figured Hermione would have made one anyway. Posts: 7790 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Chris, I just wanted to let you know that, though I don't often post responses, I read your columns religiously.
Posts: 3846 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote:-- The Half-Blood Prince is revealed to be Hermione, who's apparently been keeping a secret or two from Harry, Ron, and everyone in the female dorms.
quote:-- In the chapter written by "Biggest Fan" contest winner Lucy Lynn Harflooie, a new character is introduced named Lucille Brightlady who has great magical abilities and can read minds. She defeats Voldemort handily, vanquishes the army of Death Eaters, and does something really funny to Lucius Malfoy. Oh, and Ron and Harry are totally in love with her.
quote:-- Forced to reduce class sizes, adminstrators at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry drop the 'Defence Against the Dark Arts' course for students in the first four years and simply hand out government surplus flyers titled 'Duck and Cover.'
-- Harry, now 15, begins to break out with acne and talk in a squeaky voice, obviously the results of a sinister spell from the despicable Lord Voldemort. He also becomes sullen and depressed, skipping meals and baths to stay in his chamber and play video games for weeks while listening to 'White Stripes' CDs over and over. Ron and Hermione search in vain for the counterspell.
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