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"I hope you are in the bathroom all day -- that's how mad I am at you." -A brother and sister fighting at the fireworks
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"You are part of a rebel wasp alliance and a traitor" -my brother after I refused to join with him in his war against the wasps out by our pool.
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"Aww, c'mon. Give the guy a break. If you had a bunch of screws screwed into your head, you'd be crabby, too." (one nurse talking to another)
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"Leslie! Vegas rules! What falls on the floor now stays on the floor!" Me to my baby in her highchair after playing one too many rounds of the drop it game!
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"Why won't the market reports come up?" Me wailing at my computer, because I need the reports from the equities, currencies, and capital markets in order to finish my work for the day.
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"I wonder if President Bush's stand on stem cell research would be so strong if it wasn't a threat to the pharmecutical industry."
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"No, you cannot wash your lightsaber" (Me, to the birthday boy, when he tried to submerge his new toy).
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"So did you get a funny hat with that?" said to a guy wearing a "Shriner's Hospital" tshirt.
Later in the discussion, which covered the name change of the hospitals, there was this:
"A lot of middle-class and upper-income white people just get annoyed because we don't have any "in-group" names for ourselves. Me, I just figure it's the natural downside to having never been oppressed."
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Me shouting from the basement to my father: "DAD! Where you do keep your balls!?" in reference for the set of bocce balls he claimed were down there.
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quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Me shouting from the basement to my father: "DAD! Where you do keep your balls!?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Am I the only one who imagined her father slapping his forehead and saying...
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The follow-up was even better though, because I asked why it would go away and she said that maybe it would get hungry or thirsty if it was left alone, and might go to McDonalds for chicken nuggets.
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"Gee, you think you could have picked a worse moment for that candid disclosure, Captain Timing?"
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"I would kill myself if I had to take a dictation in Gb minor." Me to myself after I read Megan's post above.
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"I'm telling her you'll leave the head of a bookworm on her pillow if she doesn't return the books." - my boss emailing someone who has overdue library books to the library section of our office (i'm the library godfather...(or to be more correct godmother))
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"Ew! You're not allowed to do that until you know each other's names!" - my sister, reading Les Mis
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"Where's your place?" "It's next to Jalal's joint." "Jalal's joint? You're making Jalal Talabani's place sound like a burger & kabob diner..."
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Okay, a quote from a story a fellow teacher told me about why he got in trouble last year:
"That's okay. If you feel that strongly, you can read and write about a book other than Harry Potter. Just bring in a note from your parents..." (he said he paused here while better judgement failed him) "...and while you're at it, bring in a list of all the other books you find offensive. We can pile them all in the middle of the room and set them on fire."
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My daughter Abigail to my mom, who had surgery today - she had a cancerous lesion on her nose, and when it was removed they took some cartilage from her ear to help reconstruct her nose. Abigail was completely flabbergasted at the idea.
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Do you really want to explain that? If so, read on I suppose.
We have a resident who is badly declining d/t the fact that she will not eat, and in my mind, has just given up. If she doesn't void (urinate) within 16 hours, she has to be cath'd. (Meaning I stick a rubber straw like tube into her bladder, and drain it) Did I fail to mention that she's a nun? A very conservative nun. One that you KNOW went into the ministry early in her life, and took her vows before she actually went through the process. She's a little fiesty when it comes to something being stuck up inside of her. It take three nurse aide's to hold her arms and legs, and me to do the procedure.
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"Stop staying up thinking about how sexy Dir en grey is and maybe you won't be so tired."
"You don't know Hindi, you just like the way it sounds when it's sung."
"There's some sort of genetic thing in people blocking out the thought of what parents had to do to get you. We'd rather just think the stork bought us or we came from cabbages."
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