posted
My mom called earlier to talk about the plans for Christmas.
Things have been rather up in the air this year due to my sisters' pregnancies. The last I had heard, the family celebration of Christmas was going to be in late January, due to forthcoming birth of the newest kidlet on the 28th. This was fine by me; I could handle one year of crazy Christmas.
So I began to plan out my Christmas in my head. I can't go to Midnight Mass because I don't have a car. So instead, I'd make some good pasta & bread for dinner, and go to an early Christmas Eve mass. I'd play with Raina until Midnight, when I'd eat Jello cake and hot chocolate and paint the window while listening to religious Christmas tunes. My version of midnight mass. It'd be cozy, and enjoyable, amd me.
Last year, I went to Christmas Eve mass with my parents at their church. We then went back to their house for dinner & movie watching. It was nice. So when family Christmas plans started falling through, I thought maybe they'd invite me over again on Christmas Eve.
They did. Well, okay. I'd lose out on pasta & bread, but I could go to church with my parents, which would be nice. And I could still do "my" midnight mass.
And hey, I could do pasta & bread on Christmas Day, because I wouldn't be doing anything else.
But then mom said, "And Christmas will just be Brown's, here."
And I just kind of paused. "...Okay," I said.
But it's not okay.
It's not that I don't love my family. I do. I love them, and it would be good to spend Christmas Day with them. Especially since my younger sister is coming over, too. I could meet Justin (the new nephew) and have fun watching Avery opening her presents. That'd be nice.
But I am grown up now. And part of growing up is making your own family, and starting new family traditions. I'm not married with kids. I don't have in laws to go to, nor will there be presents from Santa. But I do have a household. It's me and Raina. And I do have a family; it's my circle of friends, both in online and in the world. And I find that as I grow older, developing new traditions with my family, in my own household, is especially important to me.
I want to make a new tradition of spending a quiet evening at home, enjoying the gentle silence that comes on Christmas Eve. I want to watch my cat watching it snow, and sip hot chocolate, and listen to Clint Black. I want to bake bread from scratch and read the Bible and sing my favorite hymns while standing in the living room. I want to talk to my everyone I know who happens to be online that night.
I know part of being in relationships (of all kinds) means making sacrifices and compromises. Am I being selfish for wanting to make new traditions? Or am I simply growing up and growing into my own?
Posts: 1805 | Registered: Jun 1999
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posted
That sounds like a good idea... I'd replace the cat with this rabbit over here laying in his rabbit corner and Clint Black with Tori Amos or Dir en grey or the whole opera Eugene Onegin, but it's not a bad idea... As travelling can be a pain. Even if I visit a friend, I still have to come home because of this bunny.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
That sounds like an awesome Christmas Day, m'dear. (although if you sorely feel the lack of human companionship, you can always give me a call and I'll come pick you up to join my family...)
Posts: 4515 | Registered: Jul 2004
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A peaceful Christmas is definately a worthy goal. If to you that means just chillin, do it! For some reason, my parents seem to like the idea of shuttling around to three different households for three different Christmas celebrations. Hey, if thats what works for them, good for then. But I can't wait until I'm on my own and will be able to make my own relaxing traditions.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
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xnera, could you do christmas Eve by yourself and Christmas Day with your family? That way you could have your own, new tradition, the way you want to spend the evening, and still share part of the holiday with your family. I realize that might not work out for this year, since you already told them your coming, but perhaps if you decide you want to do it that way, you can make the arrangements in advance next year. Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I had actually pretty much decided to call mom tomorrow and tell her I'd really like to have some time to myself on Christmas Eve. I'll explain why it's important to me, and hope she understands.
So this post was more about thinking out loud than asking for advice. I feel like I've been having a lot of insights lately, and it's good to document them.
And Goody, I love the idea of getting together with friends for the holidays. This year isn't good, but maybe some time in the future. Posts: 1805 | Registered: Jun 1999
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