posted
I have 2 friends who I trusted alot one is my best friend and known since high school, the other is a friend also from high school not my best friend but she was nice to me and support've someone who I felt I could trust.
In College Chris moved away from his parents for various reasons thats not my buisness to mention and moved with a friend named J. Every tuesday evening i would go over to hang out until my mom finished with Bingo and would pick me up at 10-11 pm, I tried to never overstay my welcome by contributing to the food/drink situation and replacing what i eat.
Then Tiff the other friend mentioned moved out as well she was living with her dad and mom but they had separated so she lived in the different homes every so often, but she decided to move out with her boyfriend to a new home in St. Annes de Bellevue, Chris and J moved out of their apartment to join them and signed a lease.
I asked each of them (not the boyfriend we didnt get along very well) if they could direct me to their house sometime and asked about if we could arrange if I could stay at their place at tuesday like I did at christophers other apartment, reasonable right? I live in Rigaud quite a ways away from JAC and rides are hard to find.
Each one says they'ld have to discuss it or said they couldnt direct me to the house since they had to work or something and finally said that tuesdays were bad because they were busy.
At one point I get suspiscious, too busy to let a high school friend (who doesnt drink the liquer or damage the property ever) over? And soon enough I start getting peeved that no one has talked to me, tiff didnt anwser my email (btw I wasnt stalkerish about this each enquiry is like 2-4 weeks apart, usually whenever I see them).
Frankly this was really bugging me that no one was taking the time to talk to me anymore, the few times chris went on msn never said much.
Then today I found out Chris moved out and back with his parents, told me moving out isnt worth it (ill be the judge of that...) he was "stabbed in the back" and apologized that he couldn't tell me where he lived that they kept him from telling me and asked that I kinda keep this to myself.
I think I was about to cry, this hurt, Chris I'm glad didnt want to do this but TIFF!? Her sister is dating my younger brother for crying out loud, I knew her for years I trusted her, I really want to get to the bottum of this she is the last person on this planet (second to last, correction) I would expect to intentionally keep me away.
posted
Yah, get over it. Your friends don't owe you anything just because you were friends in highschool. If I had to accomidate and keep track of all my highschool friends, I would never have time for people I actually see on a daily basis.
Posts: 9912 | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Orincoro: Yah, get over it. Your friends don't owe you anything just because you were friends in highschool. If I had to accomidate and keep track of all my highschool friends, I would never have time for people I actually see on a daily basis.
Well, that was a bit rude.
And not true for everyone, BTW. I am not in contact with most of my high school friends, but I have moved 4 times, and now live in FL, not MI. Even then I still talk, once in a while, to friends from MI.
Not everyone is as "busy" as you, I guess
Blayne, that sucks. The good thing is I guess you know who ISN'T your friend now, right? In the long run that is worth knowing, as bad as it sucks now it could be a lot worse.
Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I've been going through some of the same type of stuff Blayne. Not anything nearly as drastic as what happened to you, but I've been asking myself who can I rely on. Actually, I asked my best friend who I could rely on, sorta kinda maybe hoping she would say "You can rely on me" but instead she said "No one". Go figure. Anyways, I don't really have much advice other than to move on. The phrase I've been saying a lot lately is "Ya can't win em all". You got a crappy deal this time, but chances are pretty good that sometime, somehow, somewhere, you'll come out on top.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Sorry to hear about this Blayne. It seems like you've had a rough time of things lately on a number of fronts. Eventually you'll meet new people that you have more in common with than just a past, but at the moment the situation can't be anything but painful. Hang in there. Life does get better.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
You know, something that helps me out a lot when I'm having a rough time is to keep in mind that everything--everything--is transitory. No matter what you're experiencing, it is going to slip into your past. It's going to be a memory soon, and then it won't even be that. I know that that's a bit of a strange thing to find comforting, since it includes the good stuff too, but I do. I hope that helps.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
I think about all the things that DON'T change much..my family, the people I love, the things I have always enjoyed....while the specifics may change, those things are a part of me that remains regardless of what happens in my day to day life.
Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Cripes that was harsh Orincoro. Don't project on Blayne, it's not nice when he's feeling down.
Blayne -
lem had a bit of a point though. People drift apart after high school sometimes. I've had some friends drift away from me, and heck, I've drifted away from them, despite attemps on their part to try and reconnect with me, I just find I don't have the time to sustain a friendship.
On the other hand, in the last two years of high school my six best friends were a group of girls. Of the six, I talk to four of them on a semi-regular basis, one of them almost never, and the other is my best friend who I talk to all the time and even see on a regular basis, despite the fact that she lives two hours away at school.
I think what you have to accept, is that after high school, when you don't automatically see the same people every day, people's priorities change. You're going to find that some of them are still the person you knew, and will be perfectly willing to continue to invest time in a friendship with you if you are willing to do the same. But some of them will not be, and you can keep trying to force them too, though after awhile I think you save yourself a lot of stress, effort and sadness by just letting them go and do their own thing. Not every friendship is meant to last forever.
Over time, you'll learn which friends really will stick with it, and those friends will become much closer, personal friends. And for the ones you lose, others will rise up to take their place. It's a part of the process, and while it might seem a bit heart wrenching now, in the end I'm optimistic that it'll all turn out for the best for you. Hopefully you can come to the same line of thinking and save yourself some stress and heartache.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
the thing was its been 2 years since i started college and the times i have seen and talked to her she was nice to me I don't understand why she would not want me to visit her flat once in a while and hide it, I wasn't told I wasn't welcome I was simply given excuses, about how theyre busy etc.
IP: Logged |
Maybe she was just being polite, maybe she didn't want to hurt your feelings. Sometimes people are afraid of confrontation and it's easier for them to just push you off to the side until you give up on your own and just wander off.
It's cold, and quite frankly I think it's a lot colder than just telling someone flat out that you don't want to be friends anymore. It's selfish too, if you ask me.
You'll get over it in time, and be a stronger, more mature person for it (probably), but in the mean time there isn't much you can do about it. It's one of life's little love bites: Hurts at first, but was done with the best of intentions.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
