posted
I am not athletic, and never was. As a child I found baseball boring and dangerous. That fast ball flying at me did not excite me to catch it or hit it with a bat. I considered it a possibly lethal projectile and had to fight every rational synapse in my brain and not run far and fast.
My first experience playing with a group at scout camp meant I stood out in the field frying in the sun until I got to wait for a turn to bat. My turn came up, I stepped on home plate, and the baseball guru playing catcher told the ump I was out. My confusion met the lauging derision of the rest of the players as I slunk back to the dugout.
I am not a baseball fan.
Then my little Sasha asked me to play with him. What was I to do? Tell him no? Papa's don't say "no". That is for momma's.
Did you just feel a thwack to the back of your head? I did.
Anyway, my first attempts to teach this little boy the basics of baseball met with little hope for a multi-million dollar career in his future. He had trouble hitting the ball I placed on an improvised T. Catching and throwing were new ideas for him to concieve of. Running bases was a truly random event.
We have a nice wiffleball bat, that is light and easy for him to swing.
Unfortunately he prefers a big heave softball.
Softballs are not soft.
His first time actually hitting the ball went off fairly well a few months ago. Then I wanted my turn. He threw the ball one time, and I hit it. It was amazing. Somehow playing video games and ameuter juggling had beneficial eye-hand coordination benefits. I could hit a slowly thrown baseball.
Unfortunately I smacked it right into Sasha's forehead.
This ranks right up there with my teaching Sasha football that ended up with him being tackled by an overly agressive oak tree.
My wife won't let me teach him new sports anymore.
But baseball is still mine to teach and today being a warm, bright, Sunday we played baseball.
Of course we didn't have any teams. Just one pitcher and one batter. If you hit the ball you ran to the various trees in our yard that made up the bases. The pitcher had to grab the ball and touch you with it when you were not on a base.
Tip-fouls, bunts, foul balls were all legal hits.
It was an exhausting game. We played a full three innings.
An out or a hit meant you had to bring up a new batter out of your imagination.
Sasha brought out Darth Vader and his Light Saber Bat.
That got me thinking. Why did Darth Vader go into the dangerous and murky waters of politicals and interstellar dictatorship, when true wealth, and all the women, are to be had playing major league baseball?
What a player someone proficient with the force would be. No steroid strengthened pitcher could strike you out as you manipulate the ball right to the sweetspot on the bat. Some Ump, or congressman, calls you on unsportsmanlike conduct, or wants to check the steroids used under that deep breathing mask, and a little Jedi Mind Trick-poof, its the other teams star heading to the showers/big-house. It doesn't matter how ugly or demanding you are--the girls will fall for the jocks every time, as long as they win.
But I digress.
The game was very exciting, but really not close. Darth Vader struck out, but Wookies scored home runs. Someone called Rod Roller was his favorite player, whoever that was.
I tried bringing in Luke Skywalker, but Sasha ran me out at 2nd base. It took Arthur Dent to score on my team.
It ended up, the Sasha Wookie Dragons--57, the Papa's 2.
Although I did have to call him on cheating one time. It is in the rule book, page 4, "No Breathing Fire On The Opposing Team." I'm sure its in the books, right around the part about no high explosives or automatic weapons.
If not, it should be.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
If someone were to make a Wookie Dragon model, I'd take 9 of them and have my own Wookie Dragon baseball team. I just love the idea of the Wookie Dragon.
Posts: 291 | Registered: Jun 2002
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You know, if I would have kept this post about whether the Yankee's were evil enough to hire Darth Vader, this would be on page 12 by now.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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