Topic: I'm depressed again. I hate being President
Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
Well, first of all in my job working in a Deli my boss is a really direct, intimidating, scary person who is also on the prick side of the fence he yells at me for little mistakes and yells often and only a medium sized portion of whtat I do is good enough. Everything is so frustrating and today I just got lectured about how I forget too many little things over the past month and that if I screw up again poof I'm out.
There are days I feel like crying when i get home TODAY was the ONLY day I didnt get yelled at once probly because I was asked to come in an hour later then usual. Harder to screw upo if theres less time to screw up in.
But this is only part of it, it was slightly counter balanced that when I did do saomething right I was told good jopb or given a proper thank you and I AM being fed there they dont have to but they do even when my parents asked them specifically NOT to feed me.
But the days are long, I'm in constant pain either my head, my back, my achilles tendon, something and I hurt myself in ways I never realized I keep seeing cuts and bruises that I only notice the next day.
To counter all this I pay video games, not just any organized 4-5 hour sessions of games by Paradox Interactive, most notably these days Europa Universalis II.
And I started a new gam,e with a freind and we got 2-3 weeks thats 20-30 hours of gaming done we made it from 1419 to 1521.
I was made co-GM half way through partially on request and man how I regret it and to borrow form Jack Ryan "I hate being President" it is such hard work we have 12015 people playing and man there are issues over issues, rule breaking, complaints people always come to me and when they don't I'm not informed of it till the last minute. I spent 4 whole hours trying to keep one player from quitting for an issue I dont even remember even more. I think there wa abug in the game and we waited 8 whole game months before doing anything. I couldve solved it quickly but my CoGM refused ot budge from his position givning only part of what our France player wanted instead of all to compensate him.
And then theres another issue where apparnetly our Moscovy/Russia player (I'm China player BTW I'm completely neutral so was perfect to settle disputes) made an agreement with Sweden for 2 provences and had asked for them to be edited, GM refused a mid session edit which I agree so our russia player refused to play that session.
Problem is onc ein the gam,e his country is AI'ed and our Muggle Empire player attacks his country.
Big dispute over this which I think I finally solved until finally it all comes crashing down.
the CoGM (not me the other guy) was caught red handed.
You see after each session the "stats" of the game are posted online and so is the save that goes with it.
But when looking through the logs of the agme I noticed he cheated, 70 "Merchants" were sent to several European Center of Trades in both the 1488 and 1500 saves.
Now here's the thing.
-A nation any nation can ony produce at maximum 12 a YEAR all 70 where sent 1 month after the game started in January.
-A nation can only stockpile 6 merchants at a time.
-the cogm (not me) was also the host and as such DOES NOT LAG and could not send lag merchants.
This is obviously cheating and because of it he gained amassive income from his merchants and wiht them was the most power economy and technological power in the game.
Example me as China was second most powerful: My "trade income" was 30ish a month his was past 90.
He also edited in various buildings for himself that there is no record in the log of him building.
So he cheated.
And the game was cancelled as most players left in disgust.
And he who I thought was a good person quit multiplayer.
Afte rspending hours playing that organized game and hours more dealing with disputes as GM this sucks ballz.
And now I'm depressed, I'm trying to set up a new game titled "Old Regime and Revolutions" and I got back most of the older players. and will be starting next tuesday.
posted
I'm not really sure I understand your game problem, but if it's causing you so much stress, why don't you try quitting the game for awhile until you're less stressed out over your job and you have more time. Games are supposed to be fun, not stressful.
Posts: 2054 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Cheaters suck. And ye gods, cheating by massive savegame editing? How stupid is he, anyway? Cheer up, though, the reaction on the Pdox forums was pretty instant. Total ban.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
the thing is the only thing keeping me sane form work is playing EU2. =(
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I don't really understand the game but I have never played it. Maybe it isn't just that particular game that is keeping your stress low, are there any other games that you enjoy as much or closely enough. You posted a bunch of games in my SciFi games thread (thanks agian by teh way) try putting down this EU2 for a day or two and see if things calm down and when they do pick it back up. Things like this always tend to work themselves out given a little bit of time and that's coming from a very impatient person?
Edit: K, I think I understand a little of the game after rereading your original post, sounds liek the guy cheated and that does suck. Don't let him in the new game if he cheated.
Posts: 871 | Registered: Jul 2006
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Cheating on multiplayer Internet games should be punishable by a punch in the face. I don't understand why people cheat like that, all it does is ruin the game for everyone else playing. If you have to cheat, cheat on your own single player game.
I tend to stick with MMORPGs for online multiplayer. I played lots of other hosted games, and there are just too many cheaters out there. It's fun for a while, but as in your case, when you've put a lot of time in and someone ruins it, it's such a let down. I feel for you man.
Wait until the World of Warcraft expansion comes out, and get on there Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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Blayne, do you have to in a position of responsibility in the game? From what you're saying, it sounds like you use the game to escape, and (again, just going from your post) it doesn't sound like you're able to do that as "coGM" or whatever. I'm going through the same thing, in a way, with my escaping activity - video editing. I love to sit down in front of my computer for 5-6 hours and completely lose myself in putting together a montage of ... whatever. But evidently I do a decent enough job that people have become interested in my work, and it has lost all fun. Now that it carries responsibility, I rarely do it anymore. So what I'm saying is, get back to enjoying this game. I know how it is, needing to escape a sucky job.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
ya but then no one else will do it as good as me I dont trust the new gms to do a perfect job.
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posted
Yeah, Blayne, it sounds like you're getting too involved in the game. Caring too much about it. It's supposed to be an escape, not another responsibility. Just my two cents.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
You have no idea how long I spent looking for a game like this, Imperialism I and II pale to it.
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quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: I AM being fed there they dont have to but they do even when my parents asked them specifically NOT to feed me.
Your parents asked your boss not to feed you? Like they pinned a note to you saying "Please don't feed the Blayne"? Or they called up and said, "I know you've got food there, but please don't let Blayne get a hold of any"?
Why in the world would they not want you to eat the food?
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
omsething about having to lose weight >.< if I work 8 hours shift damnit I desevre to be fed a squar meal, and not one of em' triangualr meals either SQUARE!!!
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quote:You have no idea how long I spent looking for a game like this
That would be, in my opinion, a huge chunk of the problem.
Blayne, the amount of time you spend playing and thinking about computer games, as a percentage of the time you spend alive, is enormously unhealthy.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
evil capitalist propoganda.
Seriously there is nothing for me to do, all my firendslike a good hour away by drive, I speak only english in a francophone town I only like computers games I am not athletic and I lost my interest for soccer in high school. And I live in the middle of nowhere and the river about 100 feet nearby is polluted so I cant fish.
So wiht nothing to do theres only 1 ting with to do. Gaming gaming gaming.
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Blayne, it's exactly that sort of negativity that's created the spiral in which you've trapped yourself. You'll run out of games to play -- since each one will eventually provide an unsatisfying experience, and you're hinging your entire happiness on them -- much faster than people can write them, and much faster than you can buy them.
Don't say "there's nothing to do." Find something to do.
Do you like roleplaying? Painting? Playing piano? If not, why not?
Games are great. I'm a gamer. I enjoy playing them, and just dragged the whole family down -- at a cost of around $800 -- to a gaming convention this weekend. I can even take them seriously sometimes. But at the end of the day, they're only one thing I do for fun.
It's like species diversification. Your soul is like an ecosystem; you need a wide variety of things out there, even if you enjoy one more than the others, so that you can survive extinction events.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
i like roleplaying but theres NOONE to do it with. Dont have a piano or any form of musical instrument even if I had the talent, nor did I ever like playing instruments.
Generally I cycle though games after about a month of being bored of one I cycle back to it. Now im back in an anime mood and watching 24hours worth of Hikaru no go.
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quote:i like roleplaying but theres NOONE to do it with. Dont have a piano or any form of musical instrument even if I had the talent, nor did I ever like playing instruments.
Roleplaying online is actually a perfectly viable way to play, provided you can type or use voice chat. There are LOTS of people who play this way nowadays. In fact, if you're interested, I could point you to a few sites specifically for hooking up with other online players. (And I'm not talking about CRPGs, either; I'm talking actual RPGs, played remotely.)
If you don't like playing instruments, that's fine -- although I suspect you'd find that you DO like playing something, since most people do; you'd just have to find something you enjoy. But I worry that you're focusing too hard on the safe, unfulfilling light entertainments that you know you enjoy (or, more accurately, know you don't dislike), and are missing out on things you'd discover that you really like to do if you gave them a chance.
Have you tried painting? What about painting miniatures? I know you love maps; artistic cartography is a hobby in itself. GPS tracking's fun, as is canoeing. And I know lots of people your age who're really into cooking.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Blayne, I didn't know that you were particularly interested in maps. If one of the things holding you back from developing your interest in them further is not knowing other people for whom cartography is a passion, you might be interested in this forum, which I stumbled across the other day while looking for maps showing glacier size and position in the 1930s and in the present (never did find any, unfortunately). It looks like an interesting place, although I didn't dig terribly deeply into it.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
Okay I don't only play video games, I surf teh net I goto forums, I chat with friends via CQ and Teamspeak I'm playing Weiqi/Go onlinr now like I do do other things besides playing video games except that EU2 was simply a game I was looking very forward to playing because it is the first colonial age imperialism type of RTS grand strategy game were I could play with over a dozen players and bend history to my will. The game plays to my meglomania very well.
And Noemon huh? How did you read my mind? Like I am nterested in mapmaking god knows I can draw europe 75% accurately since it was all I did in my art class in highschool but how did you get that impression I could've swore I iddn tmention it.
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Tom mentioned it; until I read his post I didn't have any idea that you were interested in mapmaking. Hope that you find that forum interesting!
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Another suggestion I'd add to Tom's (excellent, IMO) list would be to learn French. You're in the perfect situation to do so; surround by French speakers. Learning a language is always a good move, and it's a great way to meet girls (like so: "Hey, I'm just learning French, can I try some out on you?" or, "How do you say, <whatever>?"). That you don't speak the language of the place you've lived for at least the last year is just an excuse not to disconnect from the computer. And it's not healthy.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
I nevr liked french and seeing as how I nolonge rneed to learn it to pass my courses I never will. I lived here all ym life btw and never became fluent.
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quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: I nevr liked french and seeing as how I nolonge rneed to learn it to pass my courses I never will. I lived here all ym life btw and never became fluent.
I would suggest actively looking for a new job if you are worried that you might be losing your current one. Its so much more satisfying to quit then it is to get fired. I had no idea how bad my old job was until I found a new one that was literally better in every way possible.
Having a job you like better that pays more would do alot to help you enjoy your play time.
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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In fact, you don't play video games at all. You play computer games, a much superior genre played by far more intelligent people.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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If you've lived there all your life and havent become fluent it's probably because you haven't been out and about attempting to talk to other people enough. Heck you can enjoy a bunch of activities with other people without even talking much yourself, once you start listening to them talk you'll understand it more and become fluent.
quote:Originally posted by King of Men: In fact, you don't play video games at all. You play computer games, a much superior genre played by far more intelligent people.
LIES! ALL LIES! In all honesty I still have not figured out why they can't create an omni gaming machine that has a gaming console attached to the motherboard that plays every type of video game. Most gaming companies lose on the consoles and gain on the game sales nowadays anyway, why not consolidate it?
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by BlackBlade: LIES! ALL LIES! In all honesty I still have not figured out why they can't create an omni gaming machine that has a gaming console attached to the motherboard that plays every type of video game. Most gaming companies lose on the consoles and gain on the game sales nowadays anyway, why not consolidate it?
BB, that reminded me of something . . . THIS!!Posts: 1594 | Registered: Apr 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Flaming Toad on a Stick:
quote:Originally posted by BlackBlade: LIES! ALL LIES! In all honesty I still have not figured out why they can't create an omni gaming machine that has a gaming console attached to the motherboard that plays every type of video game. Most gaming companies lose on the consoles and gain on the game sales nowadays anyway, why not consolidate it?
lol, I'm a fan of quite a bit of Legendary Frog's work. That controller was not QUITE what I envisioned, but I think my idea is at least possible and might work one day Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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