posted
I'm not sure what's technically correct, but I also call them my brother/sister-in-law. So, my husband's sister is my sister-in-law, and her husband is my brother-in-law.
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posted
Is this what "once removed" means? I never really understood what people meant when they said that.
Posts: 7085 | Registered: Apr 2001
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posted
I have never understood once removed either! Also, my mother in-law got married when my husband was 36. She had been a widow since my husband was 13. Do I refer to her husband as my father in-law? I just stick with easy and call him Larry.
Posts: 204 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
The name for your spouse's older sister's husband is Jijoo. Spouse's older brother's wife is Bhabi. If they're married to a younger sibling of your spouse, even if they're older than you, you may call them by their first name. If your spouse has more than one older sister or older brother, then these are the rules for the oldest brother or sister.
That's if you're married to a Bengali, of course.
I suggest getting a family tree with good names (aka first names), the most common nicknames, and relational names (as they're related to you) if you ever marry into an Indian family.
Posts: 2409 | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by paigereader: What do you call the spouse of your brother/sister in-law?
There is no term for this in English. Christine's solution is common, but it makes me nuts. It's very confusing to use the term that way.
What so hard about saying "my sister-in-law's sister", or "my sister-in-law's husband"?
Well, it gets more confusing than that. Because my sister-in-law is the sister of my husband or the wife of my brother. My husband has 3 sisters so in my case, my sister-in-laws sisters are also my sister-in law.
Were my brother to marry, I imagine that sister-in-law's sister would be absolutely nothing to me. We might meet at the wedding or maybe a baptism of nieces and nephews. That's as much as my brother has had to do with my husband's brothers and sisters.
In the case of my husband's sisters' husbands, we are often together for holidays and family get-togethers, so there it seems like there is some definable relationship there....one that the English language falls short on.
But I do sometimes go the long route, when it seems to matter that I'm clear about the relationship. But then again, when I feel the need to be clear, I'll often say my husband's sister rather than my sister-in-law because as I said before, that can mean two different things.
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posted
In general, when it doesn't matter, I just say "in-law." When I need to be more specific I'll say "My husband's sister-in-law" (meaning my husband's brother's wife) or "my husband's sister's husband" to be crystal clear.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
scifi, I just had pop come out of my nose! That was too funny. Thanks. I really needed a good laugh today. I have 2 sisters and 3 cousins total in my family. Husband has a gigantic family with TONS of step, half and maybe even some common law relatives thrown in there. I am trying to keep stuff straight!
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I agree that English is not nearly specific enough in naming relationships. It seems that we need different words for one's sisters' children vs. one's brothers' children vs. one's spouse's sisters' children vs. one's spouse's brothers' children, and so on. That's just nieces and nephews. The same is true for aunts and uncles, that we need different words for maternal aunts vs. paternal aunts, etc.
What would make sense to me is if we described the relationships directly with all steps fully delineated. What if we strung together syllables to step through the whole relationship?
Maybe have it work like this:
mom = mother dad = father sis = sister bro = brother hus = husband wif = wife son = son dau = daughter
Then you could say my momsisson for your first cousin, or it might be your mombroson, your dadsisson, or your dadbroson. A grandparent is either your mommom, dadmom, momdad, or daddad. More complicated relationships have correspondingly longer names. We'd also need to add syllables for step- and ex- relationships as well as half-. That would give us a complete and specific system of naming without having 50 different words to memorize.
All for it?
edit: I just realized that half- needs a marker to say whether the person is related maternally or paternally. For instance, my half-brother is either my mom's son by another man than my father, or it could be my dad's son by another woman than my mother. So somehow we'd have to specify that as well. I think ex- isn't ambiguous that way.
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quote:Originally posted by Tatiana: ... I agree that English is not nearly specific enough in naming relationships. It seems that we need different words for one's sisters' children vs. one's brothers' children vs. one's spouse's sisters' children vs. one's spouse's brothers' children, and so on. That's just nieces and nephews. The same is true for aunts and uncles, that we need different words for maternal aunts vs. paternal aunts, etc.
Chinese does this. In fact, to go a step further, it even numbers some of the relationships in terms of age relative to yours (or your order on birth in your family).
Here's a sample with some of the maternal and paternal relationships clear and another one split up by generation which is more attractive looking. There is a system, not quite as specific as yours but there is one.
And having grown up with such a system, its no fun. Stick with the non-specific one.
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