It helps us if you tell us whether it's done, and the genre.

First, it looks like you have several (5 ish) more lines before you hit the 13. That being said, there's nothing to hook me. The scene is static - she's watching someone. It's very hard to draw a reader in when you start with a static scene especially one that's mostly description. If there's a reason we need to know what the figure is wearing or her hair color and style, you might want to tell me a bit later.

my take:

quote:

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Samantha Pierce watched static the diminutive figure of Sam knows her name, we should too on the surveillance monitor you might want to reverse the order - IE Sam watched the surveillance monitor. Jill St. Ives. . . sitting calmly with her arms crossed, feet splayed out in front of her, looking as if she were waiting to see the principle rather than for a police interrogator to return to the interview room. That's an awfully long sentance and it's working too hard. The best part is the girl looks - "as if she were waiting . . . IMHO, cut the feet splayed (which I suspect would be legs and not feet anyway) and just use the last bit to describe her.

She name wore baggy jeans and an even baggier shirt; her black hair was cut short, which gave her a tom-boyish quality. Do I need to know this now? She had dark skin and intelligent eyes that seemed to see nothing and everything at the same time. Sam can see the eyes that well? Again, this is a detail that might be better once Sam steps in the room

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