Both of these words can be used as nouns, and both as verbs. Aaack! Writers are running as fast as their feet will carry them, forswearing all future use of grammar!
But no, it is not so bad. I stick by my billboard example. If you remember "sound FX" means "sound effects" you'll be right 95% of the time. And the 5% of the time when you'll be wrong -- the meaning of the sentence will probably be weird enough to send you looking in the dictionary anyway, so you'll actually be right 100% of the time!
So, just remember that effect is usually a noun, and affect is usually a verb.
The exceptions are:
Affect can be used as a noun (with stress on the first syllable) to refer to the physical ways humans have to express emotion: "After the stroke, her voice was devoid of all affect." A good way to remember this might be that adopting a given physical appearance to falsely convey an emotion could be called an affectation.
Effect can be used as a verb when it means "to bring about a certain effect." You can think of this as a case of verbing a noun. The most common usage, I think, is the phrase "effect change", meaning to bring about change.
So, if you're clear on the three examples "sound FX", "affect~affectation" and "effect change", you're good to go.
Affect and Effect is usually difficult for anyone to wrap their heads around, and I'm no different. I usually do a search through my manuscripts for every time I use either word and double check that I used it correctly.
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Well, I consulted the book "100 Words Almost Everyone Confuses & Misuses." Among the three of you, you came to the correct (according to the book) conclusions. To provide a simple summary:
Affect (noun): emotion Affect (verb): 1) put on a false show, like affecting an accent, 2) to influence. Effect (noun): a result Effect (verb): to bring about or execute.
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I like the definitions. My dictionary never really cleared up my questions about the nuance of meaning between affect and effect. Fortunately I seem to have settled into correct usage, perhaps through accident.
The words I wish more people would use properly are: there and their; and two, to, and too. And don't get me started on apostrophes...