The weird part? I need one critiquer to be LDS and one not. It would be helpful if the 'not' were Christian, or at least knowledgeable in Christian beliefs, but not required.

It's 5900 words.
And, the first thirteen lines are:

quote:

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Gudred stepped out into the bitter cold night to fetch more wood for Eofre's fire, and there it was; a brilliant point of light hovering like a goddess over the southern horizon.

He did not know how long he stood staring at it. It was the sting of the cold on his bare fingers and the bite of the rough bark on his arms that finally drew him out of his reverie. He hurried to Eofre's chamber, where he received a kick for taking so long, and stacked the wood beside the grate. Stirring the dimming fire back to life, the boy listened inattentively while Eofre cursed him and warned him that he'd best take better care of his duties or he'd get a good beating to remind him.

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Did you need any particular stripe of LDS, like a Utah Mormon or something like that?

I'm good now.