By the time Johan had arrived at the scheduled meeting place, his customer was already there. This was unusual; Johan was always early to his appointments, and normally he had the advantage to insure the integrity of the meeting.
His customer, who was leaning against a lamp post, said, “You’re early.”
“So are you,” Johan observed.
“What can I say? I’m impatient.”
“Yes, well, I have the elixirs for you. Did you bring the money?”
“Yep, 35 florens, right?” His customer took out his wallet.
“Correct.”
After receiving payment, Johan removed four small bottles from his pockets and handed them to his customer, who looked them over and nodded in approval.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Don’t mention it. You know how to contact me when you need more,” Johan replied.

--
Hmmm, those are the first 13 lines in word at 12 point font, but it seems to be around 20 or so from this posting form on the website. Which is the right one to use? I don't see a preview button, so once I post this it might actually turn out to be more/less than it appears on the form.

I like to ramble aimlessly, if you can't tell.

EDIT: Ah, seems to be only 12 lines on the actual post..

First, it’s a pretty straightforward opening. There’s nothing too exciting to hook me other than the fact that Johan sells elixirs. It’s the nature of these elixirs that intrigues me. What are they? Magical potions? Half-baked concoctions? Illegal narcotics? Otherwise, there isn’t too much else to draw me in; it’s a simple business transaction.

Is the nature of his business forcing him underground? By the sound of it, he has no store and sets-up sales in pre arranged meeting locations. Kind of cloak and dagger, so if that’s the case I would suggest trying to make the opening a little more mysterious. If you use more subtle and suggestive ideas and less ‘telling’ I may want to keep reading. Here’s a quick example:

Johan scanned the park. He saw no cops, a jogger that just passed him seemed lost in her music, and an old man by the pond was too busy feeding crumbs to the fish to notice his presence. Good.

This is a quick and dirty example, but you get the point I hope. I have made him more mysterious now. Why does he seem so nervous? Now I want to know for sure what the heck it is that he is selling! Now I’m really wondering if he is a wizard or a pusher. I want to read on.

And finally, what is the “advantage” of his arrival before the client? Does he bless the soil to ensure a good sale? Does it give him time to case the place out?

I'll send you the entire thing if you'd like, it's only about 4 pages double spaced. Be warned, though, I know there isn't much conflict in the entire thing - I still have to remedy that to a great degree.

EDIT: Oh, and Johan's customer is an undercover cop, which comes out about 15 lines later in something I also need to remedy.

That was unusual;

could become

That was unusual: