posted
Here's 13 from a very short story (less than 800 words, all told). I'd be glad of feedback on the lines, or the whole thing. Does anyone know if publishers / magazines are even interested in pieces with so few words?
quote: Did you honestly think that your petty betrayal would go unnoticed? Or unpunished?
We know that they sent you here to investigate. Those spymasters - how they like to send their little pawns scurrying about, with their hidden tools and their secret words. We expected someone to be sent ever since Fredrick’s body was found in the bank vault.
Do you feel me inside your mind? The slight tingling sensation is the delicate web of your thoughts and memories, slowly dissolving.
It was not surprising to us that the sigils around the lifeless form; the black candles, silver needles and other trappings would arouse suspicion in certain quarters. And so we were
posted
Hm... bold. I like it. It's risky addressing the reader like that, but I think it would work for flash, as long as your careful to make clear what's happening, and what's at stake.
Printer-friendly view of this topic
I wonder what Anne will make of it...
