Here are the first 13. I'll take comments on this as well as any readers who might be interested.

quote:

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Mack Wesley thought he might throw up. This was normal of course, but no less unpleasant.
After his stomach stopped doing somersaults he stood and looked around. The morning of April 28th, 2021 looked just like the perfect spring day he was told to expect.
“How you doin, Mack?” Harry’s voice crackled in his ear, shattering the peace and quiet.
“Yeah, man. I’m good.” Mack replied.
“You made the jump okay -- Everything in one piece?”
“I’m fine.”
“Alright then, let me check your systems.”
Mack felt silly standing in the middle of a park wearing clothes that hadn’t been in style for thirty years. After a couple seconds, Harry spoke.

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Thanks for reading,

No complaints prose-wise - only thing I'll say is that the conversation bored me ever so slightly, just because it's essentially 'Hey, how's you?' 'Good' 'You alright?' 'I'm fine' 'Alright.' As I say, it didn't put me off, just made me skim over those few lines a little.

Gratz on churning out a short in a single day. The story must have really clicked for you.

Your first 13 look pretty good to me, and while Time Travel ™ is not the most original topic for a scifi story (especially from a hard scifi angle), it still has lots of interesting character possibilities. I was hooked.

Critique:

“Mack Wesley [thought he might] throw up.”
This line didn’t really strike me the way I like a first line to. There is nothing wrong with it, it’s just a little dry. I mean, Wesley could “though he might” have seconds on desert, or “thought he might” compose a sonnet, or “thought he might” call in sick to work . It Doesn’t seem as descriptive as it could be given that he is fighting off the waves of nausea that you describe later.

What if he already puked? What if he puked more than once? Then you’d have a vomit smelling, oddly dressed time traveler!

The date: April 28, and Spring day, is redundant. Again, it isn’t bad or wrong, but we know that April and Spring go together. You don’t need to tell us again.

That’s all I have on the 13. I’ll read the rest if you like.