I cut out several characters I didn't need, and wrote it from the POV of only one character, instead of several as I did originally. I also added in a new story line which filled in the gap between book one and book two.

Now I have done that, I need a little help/advice. I'll post first thirteen later in the week, but [may seem a little early] I would like to get started on the online [we all know how long they can take to perfect]. What I need to know is; this story is written in both first and third POV, one telling a story that happened in the past [the important story, the original one that really matters] and the other, the third person POV, that tells the story which fills in the gap between one and two [which is also impotant, but not as much], so when I outline/queery hook/synopsis, do I outline both stories, or only concentrate on one. The most important one? And if I outline both, how do you do that and not confuse?

A request now. In the story, I have a few lines in Italian. I have no clue how to speak/write it, and used an English/Italian online dictionary for this. As in English, words change due to tense, so if anyone here can speak or knows some Italian, I would apreciate running these line [two or three at the most] past you.

Thank you all again. Louise.

[The novel IS written better than I spell ]

I have a friend who is fluent in Italian. Send me the lines and what you thought you were saying and I'll run it past him. The problem with the Italian/American dictionary approach is that it often doesn't take into account changes in the spelling/word due to context and tense.

Of course, I'm saying this without having seen the novel. But editors are intelligent people, and the real point of the outline is to ensure that you have a complete and coherent novel ready to send them.

Focus more on getting the first 30-50 pages in pristine condition. From what I've read about the process, that's really what's going to make them request to see the whole thing.

Antinomy - A week in the Bahamas would be preferable. It wasn't a bad as I thought it would be - I actually glossed over one characters story, so have a brand new novel to write. That'll be fun!

kings_falcon - Thanks. I will e-mail it over to you. There's actually one one sentance and a couple of words but it's worth getting it right.

Balthasar - It was more the queery I was bothered about, but a chapter-by-chapter outline will have to be done at some point. What I was worried about focusing on one story line more than the other, and the editor thinking they're getting something they're not. It difficult to explain it really. My MC is forced to work for someone he doesn't want to [the third person story] while telling him the story of what happened before that [the first person story] It's probably half and half - leaning more toward the first person story toward the end. I'm just not sure how I would queery it. But you're right; I shall give it a few weeks, then go back to it and hopefully give it a good polish.

I kind of cheated a little. Because the story goes around and ends where it starts, I re-wrote the first part of the first scene at the end once I had a better idea of how he felt at that time.

Thanks everyone

quote:

---

Thanks to all you wonderful Hatrackers and your amazing advice <grovel, grovel> in the last thirty days, I have completed a re-write of my first novel which was originally 312,800 words and is now 118,587.
I cut out several characters I didn't need, and wrote it from the POV of only one character, instead of several as I did originally. I also added in a new story line which filled in the gap between book one and book two.

---