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Author Topic: A Tiny Bit of Success & Spouse Support
Member # 8501

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My wife has been mildly derisive of my writing efforts (I can't quite call it a career.) She doesn't like fantasy and has barely tolerated the time I've spent writing.

I've tried the short story route and I have a collection of rejection slips. I've tried the agent route, and I have a file full of rejection letters and emails.

Well, I self-published a thin volume of stories of one of my enduring characters and I've actually made a bit of pin money on Amazon. Not much, but it's something. Suddenly, with the prospects of actually earning a few bucks, she's had a turnaround in support. She's offered to proofread (a searing weakness of mine) and is asking that I get my next work done so by the time she's through, she can be working on the next publication.

Money. It can do some amazing things.

[This message has been edited by Owasm (edited October 23, 2011).]

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Member # 2807

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It's nice to get support. After my first novel, my wife told me that I'm better at short stories and should stick to them. Well of course I was better at short stories--I'd written a lot of them and only one novel. But I didn't listen. I'm still working on the second (and third) novels. It's best if we don't take no for an answer and keep plugging away--and take the support when it comes.
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Member # 9213

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My wife (I love her dearly) will not read anything I write unless:
1) it is "real" (i.e. no sf, fantasy, or horror).
2) it is short enough to read while on the toilet.

She has read, and liked, the two literary flash pieces I sold this year.

But she will not read anything else I've written.
But, I like a challenge.
For months I've been asking her questions about her childhood and her friends and neighbors where she grew up in Brooklyn.
And, slowly, I've been crafting a "weird" tale in which she, her friends and neighbors, and her street in Brooklyn will be prominently featured.

Dr. Bob

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Member # 8108

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My wife will read what I write even though she doesn't like science fiction. Generally, she is even complementary of my stories. However, she becomes easily irritated when I spend any significant amount of time writing fiction (even while she is sleeping). Overall, she seems to have very little confidence in my being able to have a career in writing, and my time spent writing often becomes a point of contention between us. My only hope is to possibly win WOTF some day, because I don't even think a pro-sell would sway her opinion.

It's good to have company.

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Member # 8108

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Congratulations, Owasm, on your taste of success.
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Member # 9398

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What is this? The old writer-husbands forum?

Alas I am one too, not so old, but... My wife is actually fairly supportive, in general, but things are tight and have been for pretty much our whole marriage so I know it would have a positive effect if she could see some return on all the time I spend in front of this glowing blue, liquid cooled computer.

Ironically, her mother has read my current novel, but she's waiting for me to finish editing =)

Women want security, I wax chavanistic, and if your art can bring a small measure more of that...it's a good thing. It's when she feels she's stuck with a whimsical bum that it's not so good.

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Member # 9148

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My wife supports me mostly. She does like SF and Fantasy... in fact she might write herself if she hadn't gotten interested in crafting. She's had ideas she thought about doing.

But so far she makes significantly more money at her crafts than I do writing. So mine is more a hobby and hers is kinda of a second job. I don't think she does it on purpose but I get the idea that she feels her crafts are more important.

She has read some of my stories and has offered to beta read more but finding the time for her to do it.

On a side note I'm almost glad she isn't writing. The way things usually go she would probably have sold more than I have, by now.

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Member # 5137

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Congrats, Owasm! The turnaround in spousal support is a big milestone in writing, I think.

I have a running joke with my husband about how I wouldn't dedicate my first novel to him because he's not particularly interested in my writing, my desire to build a writing career, and my overall writing pursuits.

However, that said, he's totally supportive of the ACTUAL writing, because I think he understands that it's a kind of work. He won't bend over backwards to make time for me to go off writing, but if I ask for time on a Saturday he'll accommodate it. He comes home early from work two Thursdays a month (provided he's not traveling for business) so I can attend a local Writer's Group, and he recently took four days off of work (semi-off, working from home but not working the 12+ hr days he would normally work if I were home) so I could attend a writer's workshop (one of Dean Wesley Smith's, and excellent!)

So, while he may still shake his head and be confused about my little "hobby" he actually does plenty of things that are supportive, so long as I don't creep too far into family time with my writing. It's been a pretty good deal, and I'm starting to make lunch money/coffee money on my ebooks, so that's exciting. (works both ways, by the way, gender-wise. With some cash inflow, no matter how small, came an increase in respect.)

So in the end I did actually write him into the dedication, though it's all tongue in cheek, "and to John, even though I said I wouldn't. Love you, mean it."

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Nick T
Member # 8052

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My wife doesn't read my work, but then again, I don't talk to her about her craft. I don't think either of us expect to see money from what we do, but it keeps us sane after the stress of the day job and running around after our daughter. The biggest hassle is trying to find time to do writing associated things like cons and writer's group.
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Member # 9381

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My wife doesn't read Fantasy or Science Fiction despite my desperate attempts to get her to do it. She will read mine and she is a Grammar Cop through and through. So, that helps me out drastically.

When I got my first acceptance, she suddenly was bugging me about when and how to write. It was a surprise to me, because all though I know she loves to read (just not what I like to read) I did not know she had any interest in writing. She says she has always enjoyed writing, but never bothered with it.

So perhaps my small amount of success inspired her. That of she figured if I do it, she surely could.

Anyway, she is somewhat supportive, as I mentioned she proof reads for me. But, she doesn't go out of her way to make sure I can get my writing done. Either way I am blessed to have her in my life.

[This message has been edited by EVOC (edited October 24, 2011).]

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Robert Nowall
Member # 2764

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None of my family are what you could call "readers," at least not on the scale I read on. And I stopped showing my stuff to them about a year or so after I started writing, some thirty-five years ago. (I think some of 'em read some of my Internet Fan Fiction.)

Sometimes the notion of them reading my stuff really gives me the chills...brrr!...

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