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OK, has anyone here been so happy that they're just sure something awful is going to happen? I've had this feeling of Impending Doom for weeks now and I can't think of any reason why.
Everything that isn't fantastic with my life right now is at least tolerable. Chris is the best thing ever to come into my life and we get along better than any other couple I know. But I find myself worrying that one of us is going to get into an accident or something, or get blown up in a terrorist attack or something. Or I could have a stroke or heart attack or cancer or something. The list is endless.
This hasn't made me unable to function or anything, or even really disrupted my sleep, except for a couple of disturbing dreams over the past six months. It's not hard to put my mind on other things, either, but the feeling is always there in the back of my mind, ready to jump out at me at odd moments, and once or twice in the past couple of months I've felt downright panicky.
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Don't worry about the depression, I think it was just alot of stress from two presentations i had to give at school, it seems to be over now. I never have been very good at public speaking and the people I was doing the presentation with were even worse, so in both cases I gave almost the entire presentation.
I hope you feel better KarlEd.
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Same thing happens to me too. I'm a pessimistic person by nature. I find that the best way to deal with it is to just shrug it off.
Posts: 176 | Registered: Aug 1999
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I definitely have experienced this. There were two months when I was first dating Jon Boy when I was full of joy and energy every single day. I did come down emotionally (and very hard and suddenly at that), but nothing bad happened, really. I think my body and mind were just tired of being so dang happy. I really don't know. But Karl, don't let the pessimist get the best of you. Love is supposed to be wonderful, and you're not necessarily cruising for a bruising just because you're enjoying it.
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Well, I can't speak from much personal experience, since most of my feelings of impending doom have been from stuff I've screwed up that ain't come to light yet
That said, would you say the panicky moments are evenly spread through the past few months? It's hard to tell, of course, since there was only the once or twice. Maybe what you need to do is talk to Chris about it, and get some face-to-face reassurance, since you did mention you've worried that something might happen to one or both of you two.
Heck, be practical about it. Get a physical, both of you. Start exercising or being more nutritious, etc., to alleviate any health anxieties you might have about either of you. That way, the next time you worried about it, you could say, "That's not gonna happen...we just got checked up, we're healthy, and doin' the right stuff."
Or this could all be because that Siege Golem is about to step on your magic bow
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Rakeesh. (Or maybe it's the 20-odd zombies that are waiting to be "triggered" into attacking us in 'the other' game.) Maybe I'm suffering from a D&D induced anxiety of some sort.
Brinestone, I can relate to that. I think it's exacerbated in my case because Chris has had a couple of relationships sour suddenly and severely and has expressed to me that he worries about "screwing this up." I think we are both pretty happy with each other right now and are maybe a little afraid of enjoying it too much.
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Maybe you should get a puppy. They are a source of happy stress. If not, just thinking about it will help you feel grateful for how things are in the here and now.
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I think when things are going good (or at least, you don't have one thing to focus bad thoughts on), you sort of automatically expect that something is going to happen to mess it up.
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Isn't it amazing how life can condition us to not be able to accept and enjoy the parts we should be enjoying? Or, that's me at least. Or, that was me a couple of years ago.
((KarlEd))
Glad things are going so well in the now.
Posts: 3956 | Registered: Jun 2001
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KarlEd: When I heard I got the fellowship I applied for, I spent the whole day fearing I'd get hit by a car (and thinking, "how wonderfully ironic if I got hit by a car while excitedly reading this brochure for the fellowship!").
It finally passed, fortunately. Seemed to coincide with the absurdly happy mood I had been in, as well.
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I think sometimes people feel guilty for being happy, too, which adds stress.
I'm glad you're happy, Karl. Being happy actually makes you more equipped when something goes haywire, because you're more likely to have the resources to take care of it quickly.
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Ralphie: Yes! I've walked around feeling guilty for about a year now. Why must I be even a little bit unhappy about being happy?
Posts: 1903 | Registered: Sep 2003
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This happens to me constantly. Because I know that the one constant in life is Change. When things are bad, they will grow and change into something better. When things are good, eventually, they will morph into something negative.
I just try to focus on the good bits as much as possible, and I do my best to bring good stuff into my life and the lives of those around me.
So my advice would be to live, laugh, and love as fully as you are able. Enjoy the sweetness, and when bitterness comes, remember the joy. Life is renewal, and each season comes round again in its time. Now you are in Spring, bursting forth with joy and passion. Have fun!
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Well it just dropped for me. The past week and the next few days are going to be stressful for me, and I was finally starting to get caught up.
Then my OB-GYN calls. Papsmear came back slightly irregular. A few too many undifferentiated cells. They want me to come back in 6 months rather than a year. Say they won't be able to tell if anything is happening if they retest now. So now I've got 6 months to think about it!
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KarlEd, I agree with the assesment that you may have happiness anxiety. Try to kick back and relax...can you and Chris get away for a weekend?
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I've felt just the opposite of the "other shoe about to drop" feeling. There are times when so many things go so wrong, and with no apparent reason. At those times, I start feeling certain that what I am experiencing is payment-in-advance for something really, really good that is about to happen. And almost invariably, it does.
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Sheesh, 6 months? I'd have an ulcer by then from the worry. You'd think there'd be a secondary, more sensitive test they could do when the normal one is "irregular". Keep us posted. (((Banna)))
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Isn't it fortunate that so few of us are actually accurate prophets?
We are definitely conditioned to distrust our own happiness, or dread the coming disaster that will throw our lives back into balance. Silly superstition, really. I mean, pessimistically, bad things happen no matter how you are feeling and if you spend your life noticing them all, you'll be miserable. Happily miserable.
And it just comes naturally to believe that when you are just ecstatic that some tragedy is looming around the corner. Ever since dkw and I became a couple, I've been sure that God was going to choose this time to end the Universe.
Or my plane will crash.
Or some A&M student will run a red light and leave me paralyzed from the neck down...
And so on...
But it's all just nonsense.
I think God actually likes it when we're happy. And we should remember to enjoy the gifts we're given, including the gift of loving another person, and just not worry about the other stuff that might happen.
Life is dangerous business and nobody ever gets out alive. But while we're waiting to die, we can sure have a great time, neh?
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But Karl, don't let the pessimist get the best of you. Love is supposed to be wonderful, and you're not necessarily cruising for a bruising just because you're enjoying it.
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Rakeesh. (Or maybe it's the 20-odd zombies that are waiting to be "triggered" into attacking us in 'the other' game.) Maybe I'm suffering from a D&D induced anxiety of some sort. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Keep us posted. (((Banna)))
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