quote:Oh my goodness, yes. In fact, it's almost a common symptom for identifying a "hardcore" computer geek. Well, except it's not just relegated to computer geeks. One of my friends, who happens to be very much a computer geek, has an Asian fetish that seems creepy to me (not in a dangerous way to anyone, though). In fact, of the people I have actually known, only computer geeks have had a real "fetish" for girls who have Asian heritage.
I don't think that's the true correlation. The nature of transnational media distribution (ok, online fansubbing) guarantees that the majority of anime geeks are also computer geeks, so there you go.
Posts: 1839 | Registered: May 1999
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I always swore, growing up, that I would marry a Japanese guy. But, alas, I married someone even whiter than me and one of my kids is even blue-eyed and blonde-haired.
One of my brothers looks more Japanese than the rest of us, and when he was a little younger a few years ago girls used tomistake him for Dean Cain. He is over 6 feet tall, has black hair and brown skin, but high cheekbones and green eyes.
He used to go on LDSSO.com, before he got married, and I remember laughing with him about this girl he'd met from Kansas whose dad wouldn't let her date him because he wasn't "white". Hhehehee. I'm sure if that dad had seen me, he wouldn't have believed I was even Japanese. Posts: 575 | Registered: Jan 2004
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I feel a bit bad saying this, but I've almost never been attracted to an asian guy. I've met maybe two korean guys I've found cute, but not in the want-to-date way but in the admiration way. I don't know many part-asians. Really, most of my friends are Jewish by descent.
I think it's because I grew up in a white world. Asian people were the people I was related to, so being attracted to asian people was a bit of a strange idea in a way.
Posts: 1892 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Re: part-Asians being mistaken for Mexicans:
I'm not Asian at all, but I can relate. When I was an exchange student in Russia, many Russians mistook me for Polish (or sometimes Czech). I have no idea why. I haven't a drop of Polish blood in me, or any other Slavic heritage for that matter. My ancestors were mostly Swiss/German, with some French and possibly English.
Ethnicity is a weird thing.
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I'm not sure I exactly qualify, but that's never stopped me from weighing in with my two bits.
I'm a halfer or 'breed, if you're from the South - mom's several generations removed from England by way of Ohio and pop is a Filipino native.
Don't speak the language - apparently pop wasn't inclined to teach us, which made it really bite for the family gatherings when I could only understand every third or fourth word.
I think the "asian" fetish is more an interest in the unusual and exotic more than the particular type. Blondes are highly "prized" in South American countries and the Middle East - again, because they are exotic and decidedly rare. And I must admit this doesn't speak wonders to my gender, but oh well.
I'm big - 6' and stocky, but I've been mistaken for everything from Chinese (rare) to Hispanic (more common) and once as a lady's Vietnamese refugee house guest. I also tend to loom over other Filipinos, which tends to cut down on any overt rudeness.
Even the family name isn't exotic enough to raise eyebrows. Growing up, I always thought of myself as white until the other kids made it very clear I wasn't, which was an interesting turning point in my life. Of course, growing up in the South, I really only understood two races at the time: White and Black. Since I knew I wasn't Black, White seemed the proper alternative. Boy, was I wrong.
I think I hit all the major highlights - dating has never been a major issue since I'm a social freak anyway. That being said, I tend to gravitate towards white women as a personal preference. I'm a sucker for cheekbones.
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Regarding the dating thing: I admit that I sometimes find Asians and hapas attractive. But most of the guys I'm friends with happen to be white, so I've never been interested in dating an Asian (that goes back to the "I want to date my friends" phenomenon I mentioned in the thread Stupid guys, perfect girls thread). However, I'm not particularly picky about race. My other "group identities" are much stronger--for example, I'd rather date someone who is as nerdy as I am or is the same religion as me than someone who's the same racial group.
Which reminds me...I'm still not sure how to classify myself racially. I filled out a survey about college life the other day, and one section asked how often I study, hang out, etc. with people of my own racial group. They also wanted to know how stereotypes about my race affected me. Well...if you classify me as "biracial" the answers are: rarely to never and what stereotypes? Are there any stereotypes about mixed-race/hapa people? I really don't know if there's much of a coherent "hapa" community. I mean, my parents aren't hapa, so it's a bit weird to be part of a racial community that most of your relatives don't even belong to. I suspect that the other ethnic groups are more cohesive because the whole family belongs to them and children are brought up in that community. Anyhow, I once went to a meeting of the interracial club at my school, but didn't feel much of a connection with the other students. I guess I'm just rambling now, but what I'm trying to say is that mixed-race people are in a strange position since they often don't quite belong to any of the racial groups they come from, but don't really know what to do with each other either. At least, that's my perspective.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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As "hapa" - we share a collective experience of not traditionally being included in a racially-focused culture. You might speak Japanese fluently, be an expert in all things Japan culture and still be excluded as an outsider because you are impure.
Korea can be just as bad - I don't know, but I suspect China may liken similar comparison. Certain Filipino families take pride in being "pure", but by and large the major export of the Philipines tends to be...Filipinos. Which means the majority of Filipinos are more accepting of mutts. By and large.
By comparison, the American "experience" tends to focus on absorbing and re-casting other cultures in the shape, color and flavor of the American one. You can come from anything, but at the end of the day, by God(dess), you will be an American.
posted
On a slightly different note, I talked to my mom a few days ago. She's going to Korea for a 3 week visit, and spending it travelling with her sisters. We talked about the family visiting Korea some time.
The last time I visited Korea was ~8 years ago. I'd love to go again, even though getting made fun of by my aunts and uncles can be irritating. My sister-in-law is excited to go, as well. She's white, and grew up in a pretty conservative small town in VA. My brother isn't interested at all, though. I don't think I understand why. My sister's interested, I think.
What do you think of visiting your "native country" or one of the countries in your heritage? Language is tough, but I think Korea's gone through quite a culture change in the last 8 years so it will be more similar to the US than different.
Posts: 1261 | Registered: Apr 2004
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I'm not Asian, but I've always had Asian friends who gave me lots of exposure to Asian cultures. Also, I worked for a company called CCI, which runs a website called www.asianavenue.com.
I absolutely hated The Joy Luck Club movie and loved the book. I think that they gutted it because they thought it would appeal to a wider audience. I wrote a paper about women and power in the book for my Chinese Religious Traditions class.
Two of my best friends are first-generation Korean-American and they tell me that Margaret Cho's imitation of her mother could be an imitation of their mothers. She also makes excellent points about never having had Asian role models while she was growing up.
I'm particularly interested in the experiences of Asian-Americans because there is a strong possibility that Andrew and I will be adopting a Chinese child. We want to be knowledgeable about the culture she comes from and have an idea of some of the experiences she'll have growing up. I once asked one of my co-workers, a first-generation Chinese American, what she thought about Andrew and I adopting a Chinese girl, who would be raised Jewish in the South. Grace thoght for a minute and said, "Well, she'll have a lot of character."
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Last summer, I was shadowing a pediatric neurologist. One of her kids is a Chinese girl, adopted a year and a half ago. I think she's about 7.
Apparently she told her parents some really shocking stories about her childhood. She lived in an orphanage, and the owners would lock her up in the room with the infants all night with instructions to take care of them! She came to the US malnourished. She had a couple seizures in the last year since she's been in the US, which is why she was visiting the neurologist. She seemed really happy with her new parents, and very energetic.
Posts: 1892 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Asians are more accepted now than they were in my day - 1972 - 2004.
With that in mind, there will be some cultural difference, more pronounced the older the child. Respecting her cultural heritage while she is raised in yours can be tricky, but certainly doable. The biggest nuance would be language, in my opinion.
I don't think she will have problems assimilating or being accepted by her peers and the community at large.
I'd be perhaps more concerned with how willing the Jewish community will accept her into the faith if you plan on raising her in that tradition. But you know better about that than I do.
Otherwise, I wish you the best. How old is the bundle of joy?
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She's probably not born yet - we're still about 2 years away from the adoption.
Acceptance by the Jewish community doesn't worry me at all. She will be converted to Judasim (all adopted children of unknown parentage have to be). After that, it will be the same as if she had been born Jewish. She will be totally accepted by the Jewish community - I know many Jewish people who have adopted from China.
It's actually something of a NYC stereotype that Jews and Asians have an affinity for each other. We used to joke about it at CCI.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Oh, yes, as long as the child is converted, we don't care where he or she came from or what color he or she is. The rabbi of my new shul has converted several adopted children.
Well, we're in the largest city in Western Virginia. We just moved to Roanoke from Richmond this week.
One of the things that worries me is the stereotypes held by our own families. When we were talking about adopting from China with some of my aunts and cousins, they were all very supportive, but kept saying things like, "You can get her a violin," and "She'll have such pretty hair," and "She'll be so smart."
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Thanks, rivka! I am definitely going to get a copy.
Another thing that slightly worries me is the name issue. Our future adopted child will have 3 names: a Chinese one, a Hebrew one, and an English one. Andrew and I each go by our English names, but some of our friends and family go by their Hebrew names. It's the same with a lot of the Asian people I know - some go by their English names and some go by their Asian names. My old boss at CCI went exclusively by her Korean name (Sohee) because her parents names her Clarice, but she is the only Korean person I've ever met who did so.
What is y'all's take on the name issue?
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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While I don't know Devorah personally, I have a friend from high school who does. Last I heard, Devorah was happily married, living in Jerusalem, and had several kids.
As far as names, I'm in favor of simplicity. I have only one set -- it's the same in Hebrew and on my birth certificate (well, transliterated). Same with my kids. But I have plenty of friends with multiple versions of their names.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Well my first name is english, and my middle name is Korean. I use my korean name as a handle (Suneun!). My sister's first name is Nam, which is half of her full korean name, Nam-eun (Eun is her "middle" name). She was born in Korea, which is why I think she didn't get an english name. My brother has his set up like me, but doesn't use his middle name for anything.
Posts: 1261 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
Go with all three names - she will pick the one she likes to use most often.
As for the family stereotypes - the violin, yes. Beautiful hair, I think most Asian hairstyles are viewed as beautiful since they are exotic.
As for the rest -- well, that's just going to be a problem but you will have to address that as each instance arises. Defuse the situation with humor, but make sure to correct the situation - allowing it to go unchecked will invite unintentional comparisons.
quote: NYC stereotype that Jews and Asians have an affinity for each other
This is interesting. The clique I ran with in highschool was 2 Jews, 2 asians, and 2 redheads. We all kind of knew we weren't going to be dating much in high school, though I did hook up with one of the Lit Mag editors.
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