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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Hetrosexuality is a choice? (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Hetrosexuality is a choice?
Suneun
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I am claiming that a higher-than-0, probably higher-than-you-think number of pure homosexuals have reproduced in recent and past history.
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BrianM
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Obviously I don't since I understand people can be carriers of various objects within their codon organization, or have minimally defective codon organization and not be affected by it.
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BrianM
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Great claim, I'm sure there's some kind of source you can direct me to for that.
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Suneun
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what you seem to be suggesting is that if homosexuality is genetic, then it must be Dominant and expressed by a single gene.

That seems highly unlikely. In fact, I bet it's not true.

I'd love to search up stats on lesbians having children, but I really have to go. If someone else wants to pick this up, go for it.

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Suneun
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here

oh just google "lesbian parenting" and look yourself.

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BrianM
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You missed my point, because of the controversy and societal pressures, it's not possible to know right now whether gay parents have behavioral effects on their adopted children.

I never suggested it had to be a single dominant gene.

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katharina
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So did my adultery question get dropped? "Open" marriages are not considered socially acceptable. Why not?
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Frisco
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Well, they are. Just not by the majority, which happens to fall into the God faction.

Clinton's infidelity doesn't consitiute an "open marriage".

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Suneun
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Okay I finished my lunch and have five mins till I get picked up.

Lets go through what you've posted.
quote:
your genome does not determine specific aspects of behavior that are either modern or have no biological use (ie evolution kills off unproductive behavior)
I argue that a genome can determine unproductive behavior, or have an hand in unproductive behavior. Listed three genetic lethal diseases. Those diseases are unproductive yet are coded by genes.

quote:
Are you claiming that the majority of homosexuals reproduce? I don't believe that.
Many homosexuals reproduce. For history, I point to famous gays who had families (Oscar Wilde, the one to come to mind), and for current events, I point to the parenting resources for lesbians and gays who _birth their own children_. I'm not talking about adoption. here is a book from a lesbian who birthed her own child and her experience. family pride coalition. a website for lesbian mothers, listing alternative fertilization methods.

On the genetics of homosexuality.

The 100% correlation would only occur if "gayness" were entirely genetic and passed down through simple mendelian genetics. However, environmental factors likely play a part.

Bailey and Pillard look at homosexuality in 1991, and find "52% (29/56) of monozygotic cotwins, 22% (12/54) of dizygotic cotwins, and 11% (6/57) of adoptive brothers were homosexual."

If it were entirely environmental, monozygotic and dizygotic twins should have a similar incidence of homosexuality, as they were brought up in similar environments.

----
now i really have to go.

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Suneun
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kat: i find open marriages acceptable.
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ender_girl
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quote:
I think our need for labels has skewwed our sense of reality.
I apologise for just budding in and I didn't get to read all the replies here but this struck a chord. In more than one occasion do I feel that this is the case. It's almost as if someone is trying to stack us like a bunch of books in a library and I'm afraid of where I'll end up. Will anyone be able to find me?
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jeniwren
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Suneun, in general, though, they're not only not considered acceptable, they're so weird that you almost have to be aggressive about it if you want to avoid ridicule.

My first marriage was "open". In our circle of friends it wasn't unusual, but I most definitely did not share the information with my coworkers or family. I learned the hard way not to talk to coworkers about it, as I took a lot of flack for it, mostly in a curious joking kind of way, but it got tiresome quickly. And I never felt that people could look at me without thinking about how I had an open marriage.

Kat, there are probably lots of reasons it's not acceptable to people. First is that it's not all that common so like anything weird or different, it incites a certain amount of curiosity. Beyond the curiosity, though, I think it hits many people at a visceral level, calling into question the person's integrity for keeping promises. If they could sleep around on their spouse, even with the spouse knowing about it, what other commitments would they bend or break? I also think that wives in particular (rightfully so, IMO) find it threatening.

But that's just my take from learning the hard way why open marriages are incredibly stupid social experiments. [Smile]

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Suneun
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Open marriage and open relationships are very interesting. For many, it's in the name of polyamory which I linked to a few days ago (and no one commented on).

I have friends in open relationships, and I know one couple in an open marriage. I wouldn't say it always works, but it has successfully worked for some couples.

There is no victim in a poly relationship. Honesty and consent are central to this lifestyle.

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pooka
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I think consent is a fallacy unless you have a complete knowledge of someone's sexual history and the history of everyone they've ever slept with. I know that makes anything short of monogamy non-consensual, that that is my point. Likewise if my husband cheats on me and transmits a venereal disease to me, he has violated me even if the act when the transmission occured was not technically rape. Setting aside the trust issues. And I think he violated himself in taking on the disease, even as a carrier. If he becomes a carrier of cervical cancer, he would doom himself to a life of sorrow.
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Suneun
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I think the details of the depth of sexual history is something each couple decides on together.

But in the case of a polyamorous lifestyle like the one indicated in the FAQ, I believe they try to make it very clear what they're entering into.

(edit: changed "dept" to "depth")

[ February 24, 2004, 11:12 PM: Message edited by: Suneun ]

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pooka
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Well, I never put my vote in on the initial question, which is that I do think sexual orientation is a choice for most. I can't say that there aren't some cases where it isn't, probably both hetero and homo.

I think in addition to genetics and environment, individual determination is a third factor, very important given the degree to which it is overlooked. I think that if one's determination, or belief system, aligns with either genetics or environmental input, the other can be overcome. Again, for either homo or hetero.

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lauraah
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I realize that I'm entering this thread late, but I would like to share my opinion. I believe that people look at the issue in a way that is fundamentally flawed. I believe that both homosexuality and heterosexuality are entirely choices.

I believe that all people can and do feel attracted (not just phsically, but emotionally, spiritiually, etc.) to members of both sexes. The question is how do they interpret this attraction. For example, I adore one of my psychology professors. I find everything he says immensely fascinating and I come to class solely to listen to him speak. And for me, quality conversation is a sexually attractive aspect of a person. Yet, I would never say that I am sexually attracted to my professor. Why? Because that's not how I choose to interpret the attraction.

Futhermore, I agree with OSC that most children tend to pattern their lives after their parents and that it takes a concious effort to break away from the pattern. Children learn how to interpret their attraction for people from their parents. On some level, usually subconcious, most learn that attractive people of the same sex are to be regarded only as friends, whereas attractive people of the opposite sex have the potential to be seen as more than friends. I believe that this is why the vast majority of people choose to be heterosexual, because it is what they learn from parents who were clearly somewhat heterosexual at some point (since they had kids).

In fact, (I could be reaching out on a limb here, but...) every one of my friends who is gay or bisexual has had some sort of jarring experience that made them reevaluate their learned way of interpreting attraction. One, started out dating girls, but after years of being tormented for dressing well, enjoying dancing, and speaking somewhat effeminately, he decided that he was gay. Some would argue that he was always gay, but it took him a while to realize it. But I argue that once he started considering the idea that he could be sexually attracted to other males, and realized that he could, he felt that that must mean he was gay.

I believe that the failure of society to recognize the importance of interpretations of attraction causes many people who would like to be straight dillemas because they believe that only a gay or bi person would be capable of feeling sexually attracted to another.

My theory says nothing about the morality of choosing to be straight, gay, or bisexual, because I believe that is a seperate issue entirely.

If anyone disagrees with this theory or sees flaws in it please let me know.

:-) Laura :-)

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Lalo
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quote:
So did my adultery question get dropped? "Open" marriages are not considered socially acceptable. Why not?
Kat, maybe you missed it. Chris answered your question and asked one of his own. Will you answer it?

quote:
Adultery is bad because it breaks a vow made, it destroys faith and trust in a relationship, it breaks down the bond between the people in the marriage.

What does that have to do with homosexuality?


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Synesthesia
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I toy with the notion that there's no gay or straight at all.
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Dagonee
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Lalo,

Actually, Chris's answer doesn't address open marriages, since presumably adultery in those cases does not "break a vow made, destroy faith and trust in a relationship." As for breaking down the bond between people in the marriage, this seems like something best decided by the couple, doesn't it?

Seems to me that consensual sexual behavior outside the mainstream of societal mores is exactly relevant to homosexuality.

Since you brought up the subject of answering questions posed in threads, I've been asking you a question in almost every homosexuality thread you've participated in for several weeks. Will you answer it?

Dagonee

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TomDavidson
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Laura, the problem I have with your anecdotal "evidence" is that it completely contradicts MY anecdotal evidence. [Smile]
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pooka
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In the "jarring" scenario, you can also wind up heterosexual, just not married to someone like your opposite gendered parent. In fact, I know a lot of people who marry folks who have personalities like their same gendered parent. For example, I married someone who is a lot like my mom. But I think it's because my mom used to do the good cop/bad cop thing, so my idea of a "nice person" was modeled on that.

Now I know that everyone has their drawbacks, no matter how nice they seem.

Edit to add: I would be hard pressed to think of someone who never had a jarring experience. Though one gay friend I knew seems to have been put off women by a communications class in which they showed how the vocal chords look when you're talking. He actually said "I'm never going to have sex again" and the next time I heard about him, he was living with a man. Though it seems like really weird logic. If you are going to be repulsed by something. Anyway...

[ February 25, 2004, 10:30 AM: Message edited by: pooka ]

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Lalo
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Dag, I have answered your bigotry question, and several times over. When I return, I'll get it.
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lauraah
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Tom- I'm unfamiliar with your anecdotal evidence, I looked through this thread and didn't see it. If it's in the other current thread on homosexuality, I find the ten pages a little daunting, so if you wouldn't mind copying and pasting, I'd appreciate it. However, I wouldn't say that my example is evidence. It was only an example that I thought helps present the theory.

Pooka- I agree that most people have jarring experiences of various sorts and this is why we aren't perfect copies of our parents. However, I was referring to jarring experiences concerning one's sexuality that lead to questioning our perceptions of how to interpret attraction.

:-) Laura :-)

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