Author
Topic: I can't help myself, I'm sorry
Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383
posted December 10, 2003 04:48 PM
I do not know if this is an illness of all who have the writing bug, but it is a problem I have. When I get an idea for a plot or a story or a poem, I have to write it down, somewhere, preferably where others will see it. Some of it is not really worthy of being written down, but it won't go away until I do. So I do. Here it is.Rudolph the Insane Reindeer You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen But do you recall, The most deadly reindeer of all Bu-dum-dum-dum Rudolph the upset reindeer Had a very shiny gun And if you ever saw it My suggestion is to run All of the other reindeer Used to laugh and call him names They never let poor Rudolph Join in any “Reindeer Games.” Then one moon lit Christmas Eve Rudolph went insane First he took his old shotgun And blew out Blitzen’s brain All of the other Reindeer All began to run and flee “Rudolf” barked the Swat reindeer. “Take him down. He’s Hisssss Tooooorrrrr Eeeeeeee” or if you preferRudolph the Pimpin Reindeer Rudolph the Pimp'n Reindeer Had himself some reindee ho's And if you ever saw him You would say his bling-bling glows. All of the other reindeer Used to laugh and call his name When they wanted some cute ho's For some kinky reindeer game. Then one foggy Christmas eve Santa came to say. Rudolph with you ho's so right Let's party throughout the night Then how the reindeer loved him As they shouted from each stall "Rudolph the pimp'n cowboy Love, and Peace Ya'all." . Just be happy I haven't had this urge to finish,Frosty the Demon {There must have been some magic In that ancient tome they found For when they spilt that virgin blood He began to dance around.) [Edited to meet my editor's exacting requirements. #$@#$ SM editor] [ December 10, 2003, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
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sarcasticmuppet
Member
Member # 5035
posted December 10, 2003 04:51 PM
Woot! I'm a #$@#$!!! Good stuff, by the way. I'm partial to Frosty the demon. [ December 10, 2003, 05:03 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
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katharina
Member
Member # 827
posted December 10, 2003 04:51 PM
*laugh* Frosty the Demon is my favorite.
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odouls268
Member
Member # 2145
posted December 10, 2003 04:56 PM
You would SO get kicked out of a public school for that these days. zero tolerance, remember?
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MyrddinFyre
Member
Member # 2576
posted December 10, 2003 05:43 PM
Hmmm, I cant wait to try to teach these to my friends
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Eruve Nandiriel
Member
Member # 5677
posted December 10, 2003 06:21 PM
We have a recording of my uncle (when he was about 5) singing "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" and getting it mixed up with "Larry the Shiny Gun Cowboy". It sounded a lot like your "Rudolph the insane Reindeer".
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Raia
Member
Member # 4700
posted December 10, 2003 08:22 PM
That is HILARIOUS! Wow, you rock!
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Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051
posted December 10, 2003 08:58 PM
I suppose most of you have probably heard "Leroy the Redneck Reindeer", which plays at Cracker Barrel every night now...
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Eaquae Legit
Member
Member # 3063
posted December 10, 2003 11:03 PM
Please finish that Frosty the Demon one, please, I beg you... Oh, my sides hurt...
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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012
posted December 11, 2003 01:24 AM
Please finish Frosty the Demon. Please!
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Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383
posted December 11, 2003 02:55 PM
Frosty the Demon Was hungry for some souls With a corncob pipe and a crooked nose And two eyes like glowing coals Frosty the Demon Is a fairytale they say He was made of snow But the children know How he took their lives that day There must have been some magic In that ancient tome they found For when they spilled that virgin blood He began to dance around Frosty the Demon Was alive as he could be And the children say He could laugh and play As he burned them endlessly Frosty the Demon Knew that he was hot that day So he said "do run And I'll have some fun Now before you melt away" Down to the village With a pitchfork in his hand Running here and there All around the square Slaying children was his plan He hunted'm down In every street of town Right to the traffic cop And he only paused a moment then To make the cop's heart stop Frosty the Demon Had to hurry on his way But he waved one fist Saying to those he missed "I'll be back for YOU some day" Thumpety thump thump Thumpety thump thump Look at Frosty, wow Thumpety thump thump Thumpety thump thump He's after you right now. (They made me write this.) [ December 11, 2003, 03:19 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
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MyrddinFyre
Member
Member # 2576
posted December 11, 2003 03:11 PM
That just about sums it up, Bob
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Olivet
Member
Member # 1104
posted December 11, 2003 03:23 PM
Wow. Those are funny. Bwhahahahahahaha-snort-hahahahaha
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rivka
Member
Member # 4859
posted December 11, 2003 04:04 PM
<-- that's laughing so hard I cried
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Storm Saxon
Member
Member # 3101
posted December 11, 2003 04:20 PM
You should totally sing those while you're doing your clown act, Dan. Awesome, awesome stuff.
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Toretha
Member
Member # 2233
posted December 11, 2003 06:27 PM
ROFL! that's...hilarious! WOW. I love it!
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Nick
Member
Member # 4311
posted December 11, 2003 06:29 PM
On a serious not Dan_raven, you should publish these. I'm serious. Somebody else could take credit for them. Besides, if you publish them, I can email them to everyone I know for humor and then give you credit for the writing.
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Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383
posted December 12, 2003 10:58 AM
Since these songs are ripping off of other published works, owned by an organization known to be legally proactive where their own copyrights are concerned, I do not know if I want to attach my name to firmly to these. Then again...
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katharina
Member
Member # 827
posted December 12, 2003 11:03 AM
Dan, I sent this to the woman I work with. Her exact response, while smiling but looking worried, was, "Yes, I read it. You know him? He needs help. You need to do something for him - you need to help him."
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Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383
posted December 12, 2003 11:19 AM
She may be right. Muahahahahaahahahhah!!!
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Pixie
Member
Member # 4043
posted December 12, 2003 03:41 PM
Those are great!!!! ::laughs:: My mum cried she was laughing so hard when I read them to her.
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AndrewR
Member
Member # 619
posted December 12, 2003 03:44 PM
You are a sick person, Dan. Sick, sick, sick...
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