posted
I once ran across an article OSC wrote about "civilizing" children. It was lovely, but I can't remember where it was. Anybody have a link?
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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posted
There was something in Vigor 14 on civilizing children beginning in Sacrament meeting. Other than that, I only found the links already linked and some comments on them. (It's about halfway down the page.)
The really good part, with instructions, is halfway through the article. We are going to start this immediately! We may modify the rules a little, as Ems is only one year old, but the technique is priceless! Wow! When my husband gets home, I'll have him read it, and I'm pretty sure he'll agree immediately that this is something we need to do.
posted
Oh, thank you KQ! That's exactly the article I meant. I was reminded of it because my neighbor has a quite Uncivilized child, and I wished she'd had someone to give her such wise advice.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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posted
That was quite an article. I kind of wish it hadn't focused so exclusively on something as Mormon-specific as the sacrament meeting, but considering that was a Mormon website, it's hardly a surprise. But even as an agnostic who doesn't attend religious services of any kind, I think there was quite a lot in there that I can use when I have my own children someday. The right way to raise your children to be civilized is something I've concerned myself with a lot lately (even though I don't even have a girlfriend at the moment, let alone a wife), and I'm going to need all the help I can get.
Have you ever considered writing a book on parenting, Mr. Card?
Posts: 1814 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
When OSC signed my copy of Speaker for the Dead, he indicated that it was a 'child rearing guide.' Which must mean we are supposed to hold our children in our laps until they pee on us.
posted
Geez. After reading that article I feel kind of dumb. My first instinct is to imagine children as dumb, to dismiss their actions as "Annoying children's stuff." As opposed to asking myself, "Why would the kid do that? What does he get out of it? What has conditioned him, what has he learned?"
"And never hold him on your lap so he is looking away from you, toward all the pleasing distractions of the foyer."
This kind of stuff is genius. I wish I could as easily step into and out of other peoples' minds
posted
I found this article very useful. I used the information in it with my son right after he was born. Now, 6 years later, he is able to sit still and pay attention with minimal effort. There's no struggle to keep him from crawling under seats or otherwise disrupt things. at school, it's a little harder, but I shudder to think what it would have been like if he hadn't had this kind of training.
Posts: 1346 | Registered: Jun 1999
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I have regularly attended a singles ward for the last 5 years or so. It is always a bit of a "culture shock" when I attend my home ward and there are actually people younger than 18 and older than 30 in attendance. There's so much NOISE. How can anyone possibly hear the talks being given? The still small voice is all but drowned out by the cacophonous wailing of a chorus of toddlers.
I've been blessed in the past few years with the opportunities to work in different places in the country during my summer break from college. In moving to these areas, I've joined the local family ward. I've noticed that some wards are more successful than others when it comes to how well-behaved the children are. One of the very best is the Greensboro Summit Ward, which I attended in summer 2003, which OSC also is a member of. I can say that if the Summit ward is any example, I would say that this training strategy really does work--at least when applied to getting kids to behave during sacrament meeting.
Posts: 786 | Registered: Jun 2003
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That article helped me out so much for my kids. I had two sons, both with major ear infections that affected their hearing. If they can't hear then of course it is harder to obey and understand discipline. My husband also wasn't there to help out so I had to do everything myself. I ended up in the foyer with two crying children on my lap. It probably takes longer when kids are developmentally delayed like my kids but the technique still works. They have (mostly) stopped running up to the stand every week and crawling under the benches and they are 3 and 5 years old.
I did stop taking snacks into sacrament meeting. I thought I had to have snacks to keep them quiet but I learned it had the opposite effect. Yah, for that article and OSC!
Posts: 29 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
Wow, we went to Church today and Emma didn't even have to go out! We found that just by setting limits on what she could do (we brought no toys or snacks, although she was allowed to nurse, she was not allowed to interact with people in other rows, was not allowed on the floor, and was reminded not to pull my hair), she behaved much more quietly and calmly. She's a little young yet to actually listen to the testimonies, but she "sang" along with the songs, was quiet almost the whole rest of the time, and only had to be reminded once that she must not hurt me. We were prepared for Jeff having to take her out and restrain her until she calmed down, but just by setting firm rules which we all followed (people kept trying to talk to me, but I politely gave a one-word response and remained facing front), we had a much easier time! I mean, I know I've read that even young children crave discipline and firm limits, but I just had the most dramatic demonstration I've ever seen of that!
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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As a teacher, I've seen so much of that. Kids really do desire direction. They need to know you love them enough to teach them the ropes of getting along in the adult world. I'm so glad things went well with Emma! She's such a sweet little thing!
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posted
I have also used the technique on new bishops, and I find that afterward they rarely give me any callings and I have to invent my own, which is why I now direct plays as my "church" responsibility.
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