FacebookTwitter
Hatrack River Forum Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Discussions About Orson Scott Card » Toilet Paper

   
Author Topic: Toilet Paper
Shawshank
Member
Member # 8453

 - posted      Profile for Shawshank   Email Shawshank         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I always enjoy reading OSC's OSC Reviews Everything - but this latest article tops them all. He just has such insight into toilet paper- it brought a refreshing breath into this topic. Thanks OSC!
Posts: 980 | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Icarus
Member
Member # 3162

 - posted      Profile for Icarus   Email Icarus         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Best. Column. Ever.

[Smile]

Posts: 13679 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
soccersprout91
Member
Member # 8207

 - posted      Profile for soccersprout91   Email soccersprout91         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
heh...i loved this week's column too. [Smile]

Because, honestly - if you were going to read an article about the merits of various toilet papers...wouldn't you want it to be by OSC?

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kojabu
Member
Member # 8042

 - posted      Profile for kojabu           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
[ROFL]
Posts: 2867 | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BryanP
Member
Member # 7772

 - posted      Profile for BryanP           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I can't say I thought I'd ever see a column by OSC on toilet paper.....

And, dammit, I still wanna know what he thinks of Half-Blood Prince!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posts: 326 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BryanP
Member
Member # 7772

 - posted      Profile for BryanP           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This reminds me of something I read in Magic Street: is urine really sterile? OSC told me, and so did Brad Pitt in a PSA on the Fight Club DVD. Two celebrities telling me urine is sterile....they surely can't be lying, can they?
Posts: 326 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stone_Wolf_
Member
Member # 8299

 - posted      Profile for Stone_Wolf_           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
National Kidney and Urologic Diseases Information Clearinghouse

quote:
Normal urine is sterile. It contains fluids, salts, and waste products, but it is free of bacteria, viruses, and fungi.
Give it a few years and someone will come out with "Urineaid", flavor packets to add to your own urine to make it more palletable.
Posts: 6683 | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kojabu
Member
Member # 8042

 - posted      Profile for kojabu           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yea, don't they refilter it out in space or something? At least they did in the movie Apollo 11....
Posts: 2867 | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stone_Wolf_
Member
Member # 8299

 - posted      Profile for Stone_Wolf_           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
NASA's Water Reclamation Page

quote:
The three primary wastewater sources aboard manned spacecraft are: 1) humidity condensate, 2) hygiene waters, and 3) urine...Urine, in general, contains high concentrations of dissolved salts and lower levels of excreted organic metabolic byproducts. Urea, the primary water soluble product of nitrogen metabolism, may occur in significant quantity. Urea hydrolyses to form ammonia and carbon dioxide.
NASA's Urine Processing Page

quote:
Current phase change technology for the reclamation of water from urine and other brines is represented by two processes: the Air Evaporation System used aboard the Mir, and Vapor Compression Distillation (VCD) to be used aboard ISSA.
OSC didn't mention my favorite type of TP, Kleenex Cottonelle (with ripples) which is by far the best type.
Posts: 6683 | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Verily the Younger
Member
Member # 6705

 - posted      Profile for Verily the Younger   Email Verily the Younger         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Robert Fulghum wrote a piece on that. I can't remember which book it was in, but he explained that urine from a healthy person is not only sterile, but actually good for you; apparently there are large numbers of people in India who drink their own urine every day, and they get sick less and look younger.
Posts: 1814 | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dagonee
Member
Member # 5818

 - posted      Profile for Dagonee           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sounds like this is a review we can all get behind.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheSeeingHand
Member
Member # 8349

 - posted      Profile for TheSeeingHand   Email TheSeeingHand         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Where might I ask can we find this column?
Posts: 161 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Uprooted
Member
Member # 8353

 - posted      Profile for Uprooted   Email Uprooted         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Where might I ask can we find this column?
Here's the link.
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Uprooted
Member
Member # 8353

 - posted      Profile for Uprooted   Email Uprooted         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
OK, so can I just say this? Eat more fiber, drink more water, there will be less need for sitting around doing crossword puzzles and "waiting for nature to take its course." Umm, not to mention less work for said toilet paper.

I'm all for Charmin myself! [Blushing]

Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Goo Boy
Member
Member # 7752

 - posted      Profile for Goo Boy   Email Goo Boy         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Dag, don't be an ass.
Posts: 289 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sands
Member
Member # 8344

 - posted      Profile for sands   Email sands         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
who folds their toilet paper? never heard of anyone doing that before.
Posts: 48 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dagonee
Member
Member # 5818

 - posted      Profile for Dagonee           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh poo, Goo Boy.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gryphonesse
Member
Member # 6651

 - posted      Profile for Gryphonesse   Email Gryphonesse         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Icarus:
Best. Column. Ever.

[Smile]

Ditto that. For the record, altho we have three cats and a dog, the paper MUST be over the top. I'll even flip the roll when I go to someone else's house. How else can you do the one-handed slap-roll-and-yoink to get the perfect amount of paper dispensed? And wadding is the only way to go. We use whatever one has the bear crapping in the woods theme.

[ROFL]

Posts: 262 | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CRash
Member
Member # 7754

 - posted      Profile for CRash   Email CRash         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Isn't that the cha-cha-cha...Charmin! commercial? Those bears are so annoying! Especially the one with the glasses.

But we buy Charmin anyway, of course.

Posts: 973 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sands
Member
Member # 8344

 - posted      Profile for sands   Email sands         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
canadian toilet paper is good too.
Posts: 48 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Farmgirl
Member
Member # 5567

 - posted      Profile for Farmgirl   Email Farmgirl         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Actually, it seems like Mr. Card has a recent fascination with the processes of bodily elimination...

..at least it sure seemed that way to me when I read Magic Street.

..and now a column on toilet paper. (It was hilarious, I have to admit).

FG

Posts: 9538 | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Brian J. Hill
Member
Member # 5346

 - posted      Profile for Brian J. Hill   Email Brian J. Hill         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
<wipes tears from eyes>

Wow. Funniest OSC column ever. Especially if you remember the hatrack thread that started it off. Now, nobody can accuse OSC of bringing up the rear guard anymore.

Posts: 786 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
xtownaga
Member
Member # 7187

 - posted      Profile for xtownaga   Email xtownaga         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The timing of this column is incredible. I just moved into the dorms at college (class of '09 [Party] ) to find the paper here is the thin horrible kind you see in all public bathrooms. I'm not sure why I expected better... I mean the bathroom is at least somewhat public (the hall shares it), but still... more or less thin and useless. So just a few short hours after I find this out I see the column... probably not another time in my life I'd appriciate it more... for whatever that's worth.
Posts: 187 | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Soara
Member
Member # 6729

 - posted      Profile for Soara   Email Soara         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
out from under. definately out from under. [Roll Eyes]
Posts: 464 | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Icarus
Member
Member # 3162

 - posted      Profile for Icarus   Email Icarus         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
[Roll Eyes]

Over the top so you can easily find where the roll ends.

-o-

I think that people who are responsible for toilet paper decisions for institutions such as places of employment, schools, stores, whatever, ought to be forced to have whatever brand they choose in their homes as their personal toilet paper. Think of it as a perk: tey should just be able to take it home and never pay for personal toilet paper--but it must be that same brand.

Similarly, people who have toilet paper dispensers installed that have that little peg that makes it so that you can only get one quare at a time ought to have those installed in their homes as well.

-o-

quote:
who folds their toilet paper? never heard of anyone doing that before.
I do.
Posts: 13679 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Treason
Member
Member # 7587

 - posted      Profile for Treason   Email Treason         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
who folds their toilet paper? never heard of anyone doing that before.
I do.


I do too! [Smile] And it has to be over the top. That way, it's not touching the wall all the time. (I don't know why the tp touching the wall bothers me so much. Is the wall that dirty?) [Smile]

Posts: 870 | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jeffers0n
Member
Member # 7876

 - posted      Profile for Jeffers0n   Email Jeffers0n         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
xtownaga:

After living in a dorm for awhile, you get used to it, and then when you go back home it feels like heaven.

Posts: 7 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
macnewbold
Member
Member # 7660

 - posted      Profile for macnewbold   Email macnewbold         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
xtownaga: (and others suffering from from sub-standard T.P.)

Try printing out a copy or three of the toilet paper review, and leaving several copies in the shared bathroom where people will pick up a copy to read.

Maybe one day someone will get the hint...

Posts: 52 | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CRash
Member
Member # 7754

 - posted      Profile for CRash   Email CRash         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
...Or use the printed-out review as toilet paper.

(It's probably softer than the stuff that's there!)

Posts: 973 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Irregardless
Member
Member # 8529

 - posted      Profile for Irregardless   Email Irregardless         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
On the over vs. under issue, I advise the use of a free-standing paper dispenser which holds the roll in a *vertical* configuration -- sort of like this, only with a more stable base:

http://details-produkte.de/images/d010.jpg

Of course, you still have to pick clockwise or counterclockwise...

Posts: 326 | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Orson Scott Card
Administrator
Member # 209

 - posted      Profile for Orson Scott Card           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Stone Wolf, I tried Cottonelle and was unimpressed. And since it isn't one of the Big Two (ironic name, that) I left it out. But de gustibus non disputandam. If it's your favorite, go for it!

Folding gives better control and leads to less waste and fewer accidents that require long antibacterial handwashing episodes. I'm sad that the art of folding toilet paper into reliable, controllable pads has so obviously been lost. Apparently parents are not doing their job of training children in the proper use of nether hygiene materials.

Posts: 2005 | Registered: Jul 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Papa Moose
Member
Member # 1992

 - posted      Profile for Papa Moose   Email Papa Moose         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
<- Folds toilet paper.

And Ugandan toilet paper is apparently the same brand as Brazilian. Still superior to the individual squares of wax paper I remember from primary school, though.

Posts: 6211 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Goo Boy
Member
Member # 7752

 - posted      Profile for Goo Boy   Email Goo Boy         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Apparently parents are not doing their job of training children in the proper use of nether hygiene materials.
I admit I have failed at this. [Embarrassed]
Posts: 289 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkKnight
Member
Member # 7536

 - posted      Profile for DarkKnight   Email DarkKnight         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I apologize in advance for the potty mouth.....

One of my favorte jokes that I learned about US Navy issue toilet paper...
We always called it John Wayne paper because it's tough as nails and don't take sh*t off no one...

Posts: 1918 | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Will B
Member
Member # 7931

 - posted      Profile for Will B   Email Will B         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This is a topic best put behind us.
Posts: 1877 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Icarus
Member
Member # 3162

 - posted      Profile for Icarus   Email Icarus         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What I don't get is how someone who claims to clean his ass the exact same way that I do can write those awful World Watch columns!

[Wink]

Maybe I should try this "clumping."

[ August 24, 2005, 02:28 PM: Message edited by: Icarus ]

Posts: 13679 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Orson Scott Card
Administrator
Member # 209

 - posted      Profile for Orson Scott Card           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
But then ... you have those awful World Watch columns that you can use to clean your ass ...

So it all comes out right in the end.

Posts: 2005 | Registered: Jul 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Boon
unregistered


 - posted            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Regarding the over/under issue, we've solved it permanently at our house. We have a free-standing dispenser that holds TWO rolls! One of each! [Big Grin]
IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ketchupqueen
Member
Member # 6877

 - posted      Profile for ketchupqueen   Email ketchupqueen         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Heh.

We have a cat that shreds toilet paper. I'm not talking puts it all over the floor, I'm talking shreds it in little tiny pieces.

The TP lives in the cabinet by the toilet. In easy reach for those of us with opposable thumbs, but out of reach of those with just claws.

And we find that Target brand "deluxe" paper works just fine-- cushy enough for sensitive heinies, but not so expensive as to break the bank.

I just am not sure what we're going to do when Ems starts potty-training. Teach her to get it out before she goes and put it back afterwards, I suppose. Or else use flushable wipes we can keep on the floor or counter by the toilet, in easy reach for her.

Posts: 21181 | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Boon
unregistered


 - posted            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Cheap, non-lotioned kleenex work fine, and dissolve in water fine. May be worth a try.
IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ziusudra
Member
Member # 8601

 - posted      Profile for Ziusudra   Email Ziusudra         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
<- Obsessive-Compulsive Folder
Posts: 12 | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
forensicgeek
Member
Member # 8430

 - posted      Profile for forensicgeek           Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I just have to say that I really enjoyed this article...I can never look at TP the same way again!
Posts: 31 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
UBB Code™ Images not permitted.
Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2