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Author Topic: I'm a laughingstock (Heartfire cover)
Launchywiggin
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I'm making my way through the Alvin Maker series, and nobody in class really paid any attention till today at lunch, when the class joker asked "Andy, is that a romance novel?" Of course, as soon as he saw the cover and the title, "Heartfire", no amount of explanation on my part would save me the embarrassment of having everyone in the department think I was reading a seedy romance novel. I was even getting ribbed by the teachers. I tried letting him open it to prove it's an innocent fantasy, and of COURSE he reads one of the FEW passages that has to deal with sex. I just couldn't win.

I can stomach the embarrassment, though, because I absolutely love the series. I can't wait to see what happens with this Purity character. Hopefully I'll finish tonight so I can go back tomorrow with a more manly book in hand. (Is the next cover more manly?)

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neo-dragon
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LOL. Yeah... I'm not quite sure what the marketing strategy behind featuring a bare-chested well-muscled man on the covers of the Alvin Maker books is.
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BandoCommando
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[ROFL]

That's a serious bummer....

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Xann.
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quote:
Originally posted by neo-dragon:
LOL. Yeah... I'm not quite sure what the marketing strategy behind featuring a bare-chested well-muscled man on the covers of the Alvin Maker books is.

Maybe thats why some of us bought the book..... [Grumble]
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BlackBlade
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LW: It didn't even occur to me that the cover looks like a romance novel but in retrospect I have to agree. [Big Grin]

Though as far as romances go, Alvin and Peggy are not the most "romantical" so to speak.

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scifibum
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quote:
Originally posted by neo-dragon:
LOL. Yeah... I'm not quite sure what the marketing strategy behind featuring a bare-chested well-muscled man on the covers of the Alvin Maker books is.

Not that it's necessarily related in any way, but you reminded me...It's even harder to explain why some of the art distributed with official LDS publications features such scantily clad and muscle-bound men. But then, maybe not...look at religious art produced in the renaissance.
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Stephen Sunday
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Oh man. I had this SAME thing happen with me, on more than one occasion, such as with my girlfriend, various coworkers, etc.

Actually, whenever I reread the Alvin Maker books, all of which I own in paperback, I have to sort of keep them to myself. I don't really care what people think of me, but it's awkward when the thousandth person asks you "dude, is that a romance novel" or "you do realize that the little boy in the loincloth looks like he's the indian's bitch, bro" or "Stephen, are you actually reading a book with really bad Fabio-style cover art? I thought you were an elitist snob?"

Yeah, seriously fire the dude who made the cover art.

Oh and write the last freaking Alvin book, too.

Now, I've posted about that before, though-- the write the last book thing. But I mean it. And I don't care if Alvin dies or whatever-- I want to know what happens. Mr. Card, here's how your stuff stacks up in my opinion:

1. The proper "ENDER" books
2. The "ALVIN" books
3. Everything else except the "BEAN" books
4. Random interviews posted on the internet
5. "Bean" books.

You're one of my favorite authors. Only Gaiman and Donaldson beat you in my book.

Finish Alvin so I can die happy. Do it for the children, Jesus, and America--

and when you, Mr. Card,

in the name of all that matters,

please use your influence to make sure that the final Alvin book doesn't have cover art featuring flying and/or glowing men with well-muscled chests.

Do it because it's the right thing to do. Do it for the future.

Do it.

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Stephen Sunday
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ADDENDUM: Flying and/or glowing men with well-muscled chests are semi-acceptable, contingent of course upon the fact that they are appropriately dressed, not embracing anyone, nowhere near younger boys, and not actually displaying the aforementioned "well-muscled" chests.

Also, no weenuses. That hasn't shown up on cover art yet, but let's make sure it never makes the cover art. Thanks.

Sincerely,
yeah dude, for real already.

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Steve_G
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yeah when I first checked those books out at the library I sorta implied they were for my wife. They bought it because I'm always getting Nicholas sparks books for her. At least I hope they bought the story and don't think I read Nicholas Sparks. Maybe next time I better throw a few war books in the pile just to be sure.

As an aside, Wives of Isreal needs to be added to Stephen's list. (for my wife of course)

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Scott R
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Little known fact-- all Mormon men are built like the Alvin on the covers of Heartfire and The Crystal City.
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Synesthesia
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quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
Little known fact-- all Mormon men are built like the Alvin on the covers of Heartfire and The Crystal City.

Hmm
That would make me consider dating Mormon fellows. I once met a missionary that had such beautiful blue eyes.

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Lanfear
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quote:
Originally posted by Stephen Sunday:
Oh man. I had this SAME thing happen with me, on more than one occasion, such as with my girlfriend, various coworkers, etc.

Actually, whenever I reread the Alvin Maker books, all of which I own in paperback, I have to sort of keep them to myself. I don't really care what people think of me, but it's awkward when the thousandth person asks you "dude, is that a romance novel" or "you do realize that the little boy in the loincloth looks like he's the indian's bitch, bro" or "Stephen, are you actually reading a book with really bad Fabio-style cover art? I thought you were an elitist snob?"

Yeah, seriously fire the dude who made the cover art.

Oh and write the last freaking Alvin book, too.

Now, I've posted about that before, though-- the write the last book thing. But I mean it. And I don't care if Alvin dies or whatever-- I want to know what happens. Mr. Card, here's how your stuff stacks up in my opinion:

1. The proper "ENDER" books
2. The "ALVIN" books
3. Everything else except the "BEAN" books
4. Random interviews posted on the internet
5. "Bean" books.

You're one of my favorite authors. Only Gaiman and Donaldson beat you in my book.

Finish Alvin so I can die happy. Do it for the children, Jesus, and America--

and when you, Mr. Card,

in the name of all that matters,

please use your influence to make sure that the final Alvin book doesn't have cover art featuring flying and/or glowing men with well-muscled chests.

Do it because it's the right thing to do. Do it for the future.

Do it.

I agree with your order of events with the caveat that Ender's Shadow is superior to Ender's Game.

It does not measure up to Speaker and Xenocide of course.

But Ender's Shadow is quality work.

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Stephen Sunday
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I'll concur with that, having given it much thought and consideration.
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TL
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All right. It seems pretty clear, but I have to ask for clarification anyway, because I cannot seem to wrap my mind around what I think I just read, and I just want to make sure I understood you guys right.

Did you two just agree that Ender's Shadow is superior to Ender's Game?

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Trent Destian
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Oh dear, I believe they did just that.
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Scott R
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Which book did you read first-- Ender's Shadow, or Ender's Game?
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Lanfear
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I had read Ender's Game probably three times before ever starting Ender's Shadow.

And yes, we did agree that Shadow is superior to Ender's Game.

It's a fact.

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neo-dragon
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People, Ender's Shadow is NOT better than Ender's Game. End of discussion.
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Scott R
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quote:
Originally posted by Lanfear:
I had read Ender's Game probably three times before ever starting Ender's Shadow.

And yes, we did agree that Shadow is superior to Ender's Game.

It's a fact.

It may be a fact that you agreed that ES is better than EG.

I enjoyed EG more, and I feel it is the more powerful work. I enjoyed ES plenty, but it didn't move me like EG did.

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TL
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Fair enough. I just had to check... You understand.
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ketchupqueen
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quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
Little known fact-- all Mormon men are built like the Alvin on the covers of Heartfire and The Crystal City.

Why do you think I've been pregnant 5 times in 5 years?

For that matter, why do you think I converted?

[Big Grin]

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Synesthesia
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quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
quote:
Originally posted by Lanfear:
I had read Ender's Game probably three times before ever starting Ender's Shadow.

And yes, we did agree that Shadow is superior to Ender's Game.

It's a fact.

It may be a fact that you agreed that ES is better than EG.

I enjoyed EG more, and I feel it is the more powerful work. I enjoyed ES plenty, but it didn't move me like EG did.

'
I agree.
EG is my cup of tea.

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steven
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"Why do you think I've been pregnant 5 times in 5 years?'

ba-dump shhhhh...!

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Stephen Sunday
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Holy crap I need to quit drinking.

For some reason, Lanfear, my esteemed comrade, I misinterpreted your response to my initial post...

I don't find ES superior to EG. I found many aspects of it quite annoying, such as what seemed to me excessive reimagining of the events in the Battle School which seemed forced, as though Mr. Card were attempting to commoditize Bean for the sole purpose of justifying the mediocre sequels that would follow his ho-hum life.

I did, however, find it on par, in many respects, with the later Ender books (especially Xenocide and Children).

I was rather in my cups when I revisited the board to see the current case of affairs.

Moral of the story: Sorry. Lanfear, I respect your opinion. I didn't like the Bean books nearly as much as many other folks did... but that's just me.

Also, still waiting on the last Alvin book.

Good night folks.

Sincerely,
Stephen Sunday

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Synesthesia
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It's just that in The Bean Books OSC spends MORE TIME possessing characters to tell everyone reading about getting married and having babies.

Well, perhaps if he were to send me a nice, not too conservative MAN I'll consider it.

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DDDaysh
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What's wrong with getting married and having babies? Not that I've really managed it all that well, but just wondering...
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ketchupqueen
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Nothing. [Smile]

Authors' world views and what is important to them change, and yes, it shows in their works ofttimes.

If I have to have a recurring theme in an author's work, I don't mind it being "getting married and having kids and rearing them is a worthwhile and good thing to do with your life, and one of the most important things you will do." [Smile]

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ketchupqueen
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Also, I now have that line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding running through my head.

"Get married! Make babies! You starting to look so... old!" [ROFL]

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Synesthesia
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quote:
Originally posted by DDDaysh:
What's wrong with getting married and having babies? Not that I've really managed it all that well, but just wondering...

Nothing really.
I want babies. But people need to THINK before they have kids, I think.
To avoid passing things on that shouldn't be passed.

Plus it's irritating when it's in almost every book.

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Scott R
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It's not.
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Synesthesia
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Yeah it is...
It's not really a good idea to JUST get married and have kids without thought.
My parents come to mind and a whole line of people.

Plus I want to be entertained, not lectured.

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Scott R
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Would you characterize Bean and Petra's actions as "without thought?"
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Synesthesia
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Well... Considering that most of his kids have a rare devastating disease, and that their embryos got stolen and they should have seen that coming...
And Bean had to be convinced into having kids with that irritating speech...

Plus they were teenagers. Sure they were smart teens, but still.

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LargeTuna
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[Big Grin] This thread reminds me of those dumb facebook groups
example: Ender's Game vs. Ender's Shadow (Ender side)

i wonder who would win, i personnally prefer Ender's Game

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Elmer's Glue
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Those book covers are very embarrassing. For the whole Alvin Maker series I slid my book out of my backpack onto the desk cover down.
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Synesthesia
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I don't really mind the cover.
I just think it's a shame I can't pull him off the cover of the book or something.

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AchillesHeel
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Im coming up on the same problem with a Tanya Huff trilogy, Summon the Keeper-Second Summoning-Long Hot Summoning. I really think she did that last title just to mess with everyone who liked her more fantasy/comedy work but ignored alot of her other books.
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Synesthesia
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At least it doesn't have embarrassing titles the way Laurell K Hamilton's Merry series does.
Like Lick of Frost with some partially nude chick.
The next one is called Swallowing Darkness. That's just kind of dirty.

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rivka
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They make these things now called bookcovers. Yes, even for paperbacks. This one is sort of in the middle of the range, both price-wise and design-wise. They are often sold as bible covers, but I know plenty of folks who use 'em to cover other books.

Edit: Actually this other one is more like what I've seen commonly used. And cheaper -- $6.50 (plus s&h, I assume).

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Elmer's Glue
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Those would be even more embarrassing.
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Flaming Toad on a Stick
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Agreed.
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E. Wiggin
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Well on the good side, well, there IS no good side
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rivka
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Y'all embarrass too easily. [Razz] The good news is that you'll probably outgrow that tendency.
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