posted
There’s a block party going on outside my room. Really loud music, lots of people dancing. Is this really how we’re supposed to get to know people in college? It seems very….pointless. No one is talking, except the people who already know each other, they’re all standing around watching the dancing, or dancing or eating. I tried talking to people, but after the weather and dorms and major….kinda ran out of things to say. No one wants to talk about books or philosophy or…really anything much I can think of interesting to say. PLEASE tell me this ISN”T the only way to make friends in college, or else I’m in serious trouble! What sort of things other than this can I do to meet people that I will be able to talk to?
Posts: 3493 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
It is really hard to avoid making friends in college. You have to give a concerted effort in order to do so.
If you wish to meet people who like books, see if there's a science fiction club there you can join, perhaps. If you're thinking maybe intellectually gifted people would be interesting to make friends with then you can see if there's a Mensa society, or just take a lot of advanced courses. I met some interesting people in my Advance Freshman English courses. Plus it was just lots of fun cause we talked about poetry and philosophy a lot there. Imagine getting school credit for basically writing and discussing stuff like hatrack posts.
As we discussed, laundramats are excellent places to meet people in college. Everyone is so bored while waiting for their clothes to dry that they are striking up conversations to pass the time.
At college, the roof constitutes an introduction. Feel free to ask questions of or make idle remarks in passing to total strangers, while waiting in the inevitable lines. Many of these will jump at the opening.
Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
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posted
I met friends in college because of things I liked like Sandman comic books and certain types of music. There's movies on campus, plays and the like. Plus the library is always a good place to see reoccuring people. College just seems to be the best place to meet people... much easier than the so-called real world Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I'm getting the same feeling here. I've biked around a lot when there were parties going on around campus (as they are right now). At the ones I've ssen everyone was talking, but it looked like people were just being sociable because they were so incredibly drunk (and some of them were driving ). I've gotten invited to a Frat party already, and if I was activley searching them out I would undoubtly be able to go to one whenever I wanted (at night anyways). But it seems that all of the "get to know each other" is done with alchool, and all the romances are starting with the intent of getting someone in the sack in the next few days. It's really kind of sad, and it's why I'm not really talking to many people at college.
posted
Hmm... my closest friends from college I met in my dorm the first couple days at school. Unfortunately, I don't remember exactly how we started talking or why, but we probably just decided to go to dinner together because it was better than going by ourselves... That, and we had fun rolling our eyes at the party girls at the other end of the hall. Ooh and whining about our resident advisor - that's always a great conversation topic at college!
Then there's also a bunch of friends that I met through my classes. In some classes, particularly electives, people are there because they're interested in the topic, so it's a good way to meet people who are interested in similar things.
And as a number of people have suggested, there are also clubs. There will probably be some showcase of clubs and activities in the next couple weeks so you can get an idea of what's available.
Posts: 959 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
The Anime club and the International Workers Union are good places to meet interesting people.
One piece of unsolicited advice: Don't skip dorm meetings. If you don't show up at least for the first couple of minutes, you'll find that everyone blames YOU for all that has gone wrong on your floor! Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002
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One of my favorite places is the cafeteria and the places to eat around campus that have big long tables...people have to eventually sit by someone they don't know. I met some of my best friends my freshman year that way.
Just find something that keeps you busy that keeps others busy too...and you'll make friends fast and be somewhere ELSE when those silly parties at your apartment are put on.
Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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For the first two weeks of my program this summer, I had absolutely no friends. I sat by myself in the cafeteria and did basically nothing in the evenings.
Then one Saturday night, I asked a girl down the hall from me if I could borrow her highlighter. When I went into her room to get the highlighter, there were a bunch of people in there who seemed friendly. I ended up sticking around, and those people ended up being my best friends in the program.
I'm not sure what the lesson in that is, but it shows that the littlest things can start a friendship. So my strategy for making friends is to just relax and not fret about my lack of friends - sooner or later it'll just happen.
posted
You know, talking about the weather and the dorms is more valuable than you might think. Now you'll recognize each other and if you bump into them again you'll have somewhere to start. I've met a number of people that way.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Aww, I'm so proud of you, Anna! I can't believe you went out there all on your own! Even though it was a pretty stupid party. At least it's quieted down now. (Wait, why am I posting this to you? You're sitting right behind me! )
Posts: 1225 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
So what are some real conversation starters? I know that I have a hard time even starting conversations with strangers and with my friends. In high school, our topics range from hating classes to what college we might be going to. But those run out after the first meeting and then I'm screwed. I go to Trivia every Wed with my friends and have nothing to talk about so I sit there. Yea for me. Its fun and all, and I talk when somebody initiates the conversation first, but I can't start it.
posted
I think the best conversation starters are to ask someone about themselves--what they do, what they're interested in, hobbies, restaurants they like, etc. People LOVE to talk about themselves, and they love to give advice. Strangely enough, people also seem to really like to talk about food--what they like, what they don't like. There was a manifestation of this in an anti-cardboard thread not too long ago, where everyone starting chiming in with what food textures they didn't like. It's fascinating how much things like that can engross people--even people you barely know, or have just met. I would speculate it's because eating is something you automatically have in common--there's no struggle to find common ground.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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