posted
A slight correction: There is nothing a marriage provides that you are prepared to accept as good that a loving partnership can't provide.
Posts: 7790 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
It's all a matter of degree. A healthy marriage is beneficial to society as it produces healthy children. But, sometimes that is not always the case. Sometimes there is static between partners, unpleasantness and lies. If tha tis the case, people should be allowed to break up if they want to because I think it's better than having children laying in bed listening to their parents fight.
It's all a matter of people THINKING before they buy the rings and dresses. They need to ask themselves, do I want to wake up next to this person for 50 years? Have their children? Put up with their inlaws? People should NOT be casual about having children and getting married. It makes me angry. They should not do it because the crowd is doing it, they should do it because they feel it is right, same with divorce. A person does not always divorce out of selfishness. Commitment is important. But in this age where so many foolish people think that marriage will be like two children playing house, free of responsibilities and arguing, it's hard to get people to see this. Then you have famous people who get married for 2 months to consider. It's stupid.
Also, am I alone in having this strange I do not want my family involved in my future relationships IF I should ever have them attitude?
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Marriage is about creating a unit that is more than just the individuals that make it up. IMO, marriages that produce no children are every bit as beneficial to society. Stability of the couple is important to the other members of their community.
For example, one of my HS classmates is still a good friend. Her husband is a good friend as well. Spending time with the two of them together is very different then spending time with each one separately. There is a wonderful gestalt that requires both of them.
Part of what makes them so wonderful a unit is the fact that they are connected to each other in a way that only marriage can achieve. There is a deep, underlying security in their relationship that only marriage could provide.
They came close to getting divorced, but persevered. If it had been easy for them to separate, they quite possibly would have. They -- and I -- are very glad that it was not.
quote: At no point along this path is anyone getting hurt by marriage. The only people getting hurt are the ones who entered into a marriage or family contract with an undependable person, and were disappointed when that person was unwilling to do what it took to live up to their commitments.
Werd.
Duragon, do you also believe that people shouldn't enter into business contracts because if they really want to, they'll figure out a way out of them?
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote: Part of what makes them so wonderful a unit is the fact that they are connected to each other in a way that only marriage can achieve.
I do think people can't rely on the institution of marriage to make things better. Just like marriage is not by itself a killier of romantic passion, it also doesn't automatically make the participants better than they are. So I would have to say interpersonal synergy can exist between people who are not married. Or even people who are not sexually involved in the least (Heresy of heresies!)
I think that insofar as people want to have sex, they should do it with a marriage partner. I believe this is because sex with another person involves their freedom and rights, more particularly for women. But if people don't want to get married, they don't have to have sex. It's not central to most serious philosophical models of human actualization.
I do feel it is too easy to get married. But I also see a lot of the cliche older man brings in trophy wife thing. I guess marriage is like prison in a more general sense that it is a social institution designed to protect the honest or weak from the dishonest and ruthless.
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