FacebookTwitter
Hatrack River Forum   
my profile login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » I saw the oddest thing today, and I can't get it out of my head.

   
Author Topic: I saw the oddest thing today, and I can't get it out of my head.
Slash the Berzerker
Member
Member # 556

 - posted      Profile for Slash the Berzerker   Email Slash the Berzerker         Edit/Delete Post 
I was driving to work. I cross the Morisson Street bridge every morning, which spans the Willamette river. This bridge is a narrow four lanes, and has absolutely no shoulder, and is very busy in the morning (which will matter later).

As I am crossing, I see this guy standing on the sidewalk on my side of the bridge. His hair is a little wild, and he is dressed in worn green fatigues, so I guess he is probably a homeless person.

As I pass him, I see that he is gripping a bulge in his pants, about down where his thigh is just above the knee. He is hopping up and down and squeezing this bulge. On his face is the oddest combination of panic and pain. He looked like a cartoon. You know those cartoons where someone gets a weasel in their pants, and the weasel is just this bulge running around in the pants while the character jumps around trying to get it out? I swear to god that's what it looked like. The bulge was the right size, too. Very weasel sized.

And then I was past him, and turning to get on waterfront street, and he vanished from sight. If there had been any shoulder at all, I would have stopped to see what was wrong, but stopping in that spot would be incredibly dangerous.

I just wonder, what was going on with that guy? Was he crazy? Did he drop a lit cigarette in his pocket? Did he have a beaker of acid that suddenly broke? Did he actually have a weasel in his pants?

I will never know. And it's bugging the crap out of me.

Posts: 5383 | Registered: Dec 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ClaudiaTherese
Member
Member # 923

 - posted      Profile for ClaudiaTherese           Edit/Delete Post 
Hope it wasn't a rat, though that's a possibility. [Frown]
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ludosti
Member
Member # 1772

 - posted      Profile for ludosti   Email ludosti         Edit/Delete Post 
That is really strange...

I must admit, as I read "As I pass him, I see that he is gripping a bulge in his pants", I thought [No No]

When our kittens were tiny, they would try to crawl up pantlegs....

Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734

 - posted      Profile for T_Smith   Email T_Smith         Edit/Delete Post 
If you had stopped, what would you have said?

"Hey, is that a weasel running around in your pants?"

"Um, I couldn't help but notice you squeezing that bulge in your pants."

"Do you need any assistance with that bulge?"

I think you would be very limited on what you could say to him. Personally, I think it was a mouse trap. Makes you wonder what kind of bait people are using nowadays.

Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mackillian
Member
Member # 586

 - posted      Profile for mackillian   Email mackillian         Edit/Delete Post 
Now I can't get it out of MY head. [Mad]

I also saw a strange thing on my way into work. I passed two cars pulled over up on the curb and two women talking with a toddler standing alone on the street. It was fairly apparent that the women had seen said child alone on the corner and stopped to help the kid out.

As in, child wasn't being kidnapped. Most likely, said child was being KEPT from something awful happening.

I hope that kid's okay. I didn't see a reason to stop as two adults already had.

Hmm.

Not a creepy as a bulge, though.

o_O

Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Erik Slaine
Member
Member # 5583

 - posted      Profile for Erik Slaine           Edit/Delete Post 
Gives new meaning to "I wouldn't touch that one with a ten-foot pole"!
Posts: 1843 | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
[Laugh] T_Smith
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Four thirty
Member
Member # 5639

 - posted      Profile for Four thirty           Edit/Delete Post 
Every morning as I drive to work I pass a fellow dressed as a minister, I guess, all in black with a white cross embroidered on his shirt. He walks barefoot on the shoulder of the two lane highway, alternately praying and shadowboxing. He's fairly well groomed, and doesn't seem to be homeless, but he certainly doesn't seem to be all there. I'd love to know his story.
Posts: 5 | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheTick
Member
Member # 2883

 - posted      Profile for TheTick   Email TheTick         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
I saw the oddest thing today, and I can't get it out of my head.
It's obvious your guy felt the oddest thing near his crotch, and couldn't get it out of his pants.
Posts: 5422 | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Storm Saxon
Member
Member # 3101

 - posted      Profile for Storm Saxon           Edit/Delete Post 
T, that was funny as hell. [Big Grin]
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jebus202
Member
Member # 2524

 - posted      Profile for jebus202   Email jebus202         Edit/Delete Post 
Hey I saw something odd today slash... your face.

Burn.

Posts: 3564 | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Hobbes
Member
Member # 433

 - posted      Profile for Hobbes   Email Hobbes         Edit/Delete Post 
Sorry Slash, that was the bulge of my ear piece that I was wearing to keep in touch with the van tailing you. It was digging into my leg hard so I got distracted and didn't notice you driving by until it was too late. Now that our cover's blowen will have to find a new way to constantly track your ever move. [Big Grin]

Hobbes [Smile]

Posts: 10602 | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Geoffrey Card
Member
Member # 1062

 - posted      Profile for Geoffrey Card   Email Geoffrey Card         Edit/Delete Post 
Dude, Hobbes has ears on his thighs.
Posts: 2048 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Hobbes
Member
Member # 433

 - posted      Profile for Hobbes   Email Hobbes         Edit/Delete Post 
No that was only the trancievier, I had an ear-piece. [Taunt]

Hobbes [Smile]

Posts: 10602 | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Teshi
Member
Member # 5024

 - posted      Profile for Teshi   Email Teshi         Edit/Delete Post 
Oddly enough I found a cartoon today which has a picture of a postman delivering letters and the postman is lying on the ground, convulsed with laughter, trying to reach a small bulge in the back of his shirt.

On the garden gate a sign reads: "Beware of tiny dog."

I put it up in my locker only this morning. Perhaps this man had a tiny dog up his pants?

Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
qsysue
Member
Member # 5229

 - posted      Profile for qsysue   Email qsysue         Edit/Delete Post 
I often see odd things on my way to work that I can't get out of my head too. But they're usually things like old blind homeless men almost getting run over by a school bus, or guys on motorcycles getting hit by motorists.

I bet it was an alley rat.

Posts: 374 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Annie
Member
Member # 295

 - posted      Profile for Annie   Email Annie         Edit/Delete Post 
Hey, I lost a weasel somewhere around the Willamette river a couple days ago. Anyone seen it?
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Elizabeth
Member
Member # 5218

 - posted      Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth         Edit/Delete Post 
Slash,

This vivid scene reminds me of a T. Coraghessan Boyle novel called The Tortilla Curtain.

The novel is about two men, one wealthy, one a poor, homeless Mexican illegal alien, and how their lives collide when the rich guys runs over the Mexican man.

Not uplifting, and yet, I love his writing.

Your image just brings me back to that moment in the novel. (shudder)

Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
monteverdi
Member
Member # 2896

 - posted      Profile for monteverdi           Edit/Delete Post 
It's hard to explain.

I'd been way up there for hours waiting for a sign. And what isn't one when your waiting.
All my 'four o'clock in the morning' courage was gone and the sun was up again, cars starting to thrum in the burbs like everything's gonna be OK, then the gull set me free. She came in out of the dawn like a crack through mother of pearl screamin' 'free, free, free' and I was off.

I must of busted my leg on the sidewalk.
Or else found a new circle in Hell, one where you get to live right where you land until you get it right.

There should be a smiley for all of this jumpin' up and down holding your leg, maybe just a black hole...no, a white one - one you can never see but that's always there.

Posts: 575 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Morbo
Member
Member # 5309

 - posted      Profile for Morbo   Email Morbo         Edit/Delete Post 
You could have updated the old Mae West line:"Hey, is that a weasel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

[ September 10, 2003, 10:08 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]

Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Zevlag
Member
Member # 1405

 - posted      Profile for Zevlag           Edit/Delete Post 
Four-thirty: Don't believe I know you; Welcome to Hatrack!

Slash: That's Hillarious!

Posts: 2102 | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2