King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table reunited with great displays of joy. The clanging of armor could be heard for miles around as the brother knights embraced, and kissed and held hands.
Once their happy reunion was complete, they embarked further on their quest, meeting a sorcerer of great powers, who directed them to the Cave of Caerbannog (dissonant background music, please). In this cave, the Knights would find directions for where to find the Grail.
His Majesty, Arthur, King of the Britons felt that going somewhere for directions was just the same as asking for them, and suggested that they continue wandering around aimlessly instead. The Knights, weary from their journey, and perhaps even more so from their joyous reunion, suggested that these directions must be mandated by God, and thus not the same as asking a peasant where they should go. Arthur acquiesced, probably because it was suggested by Bedivere, who held his hand and sympathized that it would be more fun to wander around, but since this story is almost over, it might make for a more interesting end if they just read the directions.
The Knights followed Tim the Sorcerer to the fateful cave, while he prepared them for the trial to come.
“Follow me only if you are men of valor. For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of a full fifty men lie strewn about its lair...therefore, sweet knights, if you may doubt your strength or courage, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty pointy teeth!” the sorcerer hissed and spat.
By the following morning, the brave Knights arrived at their destination.
Tim gestured grandly, sorcerer style, “Behold! The Cave of Caerbannog!”
A light mist covered the open wooded hill. Dead silence reigned. The birds of the air dared not sing in this place.
Arthur whispered to his Knights, “Keep me covered.”
“With what?” replied Sir Bedevere.
“Just keep me covered,” answered Arthur, slightly irritated.
Tim hissed them silent. “Too late, Sir Knights!”
“What?” asked Galahad.
“There she is!” cried the sorcerer.
Cacophonous dissonance shook the clearing and caused the Knights’ armor to rattle. A sweet little white bunny hopped from the woods to nibble on some grass.
“Where?” asked Arthur.
“There!” gestured Tim, imperiously.
“Behind the cute little bunny?”
“It IS the rabbit. She may be cute, but she’s vicious! Beware!” the sorcerer actually trembled before them in fear.
“You silly sod,” accused Arthur.
“What?” demanded Tim.
“You got us all worked up.”
“That isn’t an ordinary rabbit...’tis a most foul cruel and bad-tempered thing you ever set eyes on,” insisted the sorcerer.
“Get stuffed,” said Sir Galahad.
“Look, I’m warning you.”
“What’s she going to do? Nibble your bum?” replied Bedevere.
Tim shivered. “Well, she’s got huge...very sharp...it can jump a .... look at the bones!”
Arthur waved one of his knights over. “Go on, Sir Sopwith. Chop her head off.”
Sir Sopwith clanked over and belched. “Right. Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew coming up!”
It all happened so fast. As soon as Sir Sopwith stepped into the clearing, the vorpal bunny leaped at his throat, exposing her vicious fangs. She gnawed straight through his armor severing his head, which went flying.
Then she returned to the mouth of the cave, and gazed back at the Knights, growling menacingly.
“Holy mother of God!” cried Arthur.
“I warned you! Did I tell you?” the sorcerer looked from face to face of the surprised and stricken knights. “Oh no, you knew better, didn’t you? No, it’s an ordinary, cute little fluffy bunny, isn’t it? The names you called me! Well, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.” And with that, Sorcerer Tim stuck his nose in the air and made a satisfied humph sound.
“Oh, shut up,” replied Arthur, King of the Britons.
To himself, Tim muttered, “It’s always the same....if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it....”
While Tim muttered to himself, Arthur gathered his knights together and gave them quiet instructions. They broke their huddle with a quick cheer, and then Arthur bellowed, “CHARGE!!”
The entire pack of Knights leapt at the bunny, hacking and slashing amongst screams of agony, while blood ran free and flowing. Time slowed as they bravely faced the peril before them. Until, at last, leaving their fallen brethren behind, they cried, “Run away! Run away!”
They gathered again behind the bushes, where they found Sorcerer Tim laughing his sides to splitting.
“Who did we lose?” Arthur asked of his Knights.
“Sir Jonathon. Sir Avadaru,” replied Sir Lancelot.
“And Sopwith. Five,” said Arthur sadly.
“Three, sir!” corrected Galahad.
“Three. Well, we’ll not risk another frontal assault. That bunny’s dynamite,” sighed Arthur.
“Would it confuse her if we ran away some more?” asked one knight.
“Oh, shut up!” Arthur knitted his brows in concentration. “What else might we do?”
“Well, we have the Holy Paddle of Antioch.”
“I thought Mistress Rita the Spankmistress had it.”
“I borrowed it from her for this scene,” replied Sir Saxon.
“Oh,” said Arthur. “Bring it forth, then.”
Angels began singing as the velvet lined oak case of the Holy Paddle was presented. Arthur opened the case reverently, as the choir of angels reached their crescendo. The Paddle was suffused with a holy glow. The Knights all crossed themselves as they gazed into the case.
“Saxon, as its official bearer, I hereby send you forth to spank that bunny most forcefully and bring her to full submission. By God’s blessing, may you be victorious!”
Sir Saxon squared his shoulders, hefted the Holy Paddle and manfully stepped into the clearing. The Knights dared not look as they watched their brother take on the most vicious bunny in all Christendom.
The sounds of squealing sent them wincing. They listened more intently. Then came the satisfactory sounds of the Holy Paddle at work, one rapid thump after another. At length, they heard a throaty sigh, then more rustling.
They gazed over the bushes and found Sir Saxon cuddling the acquiescent bunny in his arms. He was disheveled and most of his armor was strewn about the clearing. He cleared his throat, almost embarrassed, “My sweetheart here has consented to marry me. Her name is Celia, and I know we will be very happy together.”
With hearty congratulations, the Knights gathered around their brother, staying as far away from the bridal bunny as they could manage.
Then Sir Saxon took her paw and led her away, never to be seen again.
Damien, CITIZEN, died of natural causes Eruve Nandiriel, CITIZEN, died of natural causes Anna, CITIZEN, killed by mafia Avadaru, CITIZEN, killed by mafia blacwolve, POLICEMAN, killed by mafia msquared, POLICEMAN, killed by mafia newfoundlogic, CITIZEN, killed by mafia Raia, CITIZEN, killed by mafia rivka, CITIZEN, killed by mafia Ryuko, CITIZEN, killed by mafia Sopwith, CITIZEN, killed by mafia T_Smith, CITIZEN, killed by mafia Troubador, POLICEMAN, killed by mafia Youth ap Orem, CITIZEN, killed by mafia celia60, MAFIA, lynched Damander, MAFIA, lynched hansenj, MAFIA, lynched Head Ditch Digger, MAFIA, lynched jamaha, CITIZEN, lynched Narnia, CITIZEN, lynched Ralphie, CITIZEN, lynched Ryan Hart, MAFIA, lynched Zevlag, MAFIA, lynched
m2, considering that I had to give the mafia a couple of days of double kills to make it a little more even, I wouldn't say that I made the mafia team too large.
Which, btw, is over. They are down to one kill a night. If it doesn't look like this will be over tomorrow, then I may call for shortening the days, and having two kills and two lynches.
Posts: 68 | Registered: Sep 2003
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For the sake of Monty Python, I just have to say...
Oh Bloody Hell...
Well, I suspect nothing I will say will persuade y'all differently. I am not mafia, and I'm just glad that they only get one kill tomorrow so you'll be able to realize your error, and perhaps correct it.
I still don't think Erik is mafia, so despite his aboslute certainty that I am evil, I will not vote against him. God in the Clouds help us all if I'm wrong. I will go with the only real gut instinct I've had for most of this game...
Troubs, why did you have to go and get killed? I really need that ID I had bargained out with Rivka.
Well, Celia was mafia, and sarcasticmuppet doesn't seem like mafia. So I'm voting for Feyd Baron. Hopefully there's only one mafia left and it's him.
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
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SM, same goes for me. I voted for you once because I refused to abstain and couldn't vote for the bandwagonee. I voted for Erik because... well, he's insane and voted for himself. Other than that, I've hit all mafia. And I think at least some of the time I beat your votes in...
Keep this in mind you five. I do not expect to survive today. It'd be nice, but alas. But I do ask you to put serious and hard thought into who you will lynch tomorrow, because this game will not be over.
Again, I will be busy all day, so I should vote now. I'm kindof suspcious of both Feyd Baron and sarcasticmuppet, but Feyd was on Ryan's list with celia, maybe he thought he could save one if the other was accused? So I'll vote Feyd Baron.
Posts: 233 | Registered: Sep 2003
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I think all the cops have been hit. I tried to make a deal with one of their (now deceased) representatives. I like to think that if there was one policeman still alive, we would have seen the results of that. We haven't so I'm assuming they're not.
This is going to be hilarious if everyone dies... I and another townie will die tonight. If SM somehow isn't mafia, and is lynched for insisting upon my death so avidly, she and another townie will bit it tomorrow. That means there'll only be one townie and one mafioso left...
What the hell happens then?
I still hold out hope that SM is mafia. That'll be a nice quick fix, and my death will have meant something in some way.
Hmm, if there are two mafia left, y'all (I would say we're, but the firing squad has gotten past "ready" and "aim), are screwed.