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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Build A Better Tinfoil Helmet...

   
Author Topic: Build A Better Tinfoil Helmet...
Noemon
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...and the world will beat a pathway to your door.

But the aliens won't.

[ October 22, 2003, 04:41 PM: Message edited by: Noemon ]

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sarcasticmuppet
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quote:
“Since trying Michael Menkin’s Helmet, I have not been bothered by alien mind control. Now my thoughts are my own.I have achieved meaningful work and am contributing to society.My life is better than ever before.Thank you Michael for the work you are doing to save all humanity.”
- Jon Locke

[ROFL]
[ROFL]
[ROFL]
[ROFL]
[ROFL]
[ROFL]
[ROFL]
[ROFL]

[ October 22, 2003, 04:42 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]

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Noemon
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I liked this, in the directions for use section:

quote:
Wear the helmet as much as you can, especially during times that you feel you are usually abducted. Some persons report complete success just wearing the helmet at night, others report that the aliens became aware when they were not wearing the helmet and took them when they weren't wearing it.

One abductee reported that when she wasn't wearing the helmet, the aliens gave her a telepathic command when they were about to take her to not put on the helmet. The only way to stop such alien telepathic commands is to wear the helmet as much as possible.

CAUTION: Keep the thought screen helmet in the safest possible place when you are not wearing it. In Kentucky, one thought screen helmet was taken from a box that was in a closet. The abductee had dental work and could not wear it. She thought she put the helmet in a safe place. Additionally, three other thought screen helmets were taken by aliens when they were not being worn, two in Virginia and one in Brisbane, Australia.


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Frisco
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He's just opening himself up to a lawsuit.

"You were abducted? Were you wearing your helmet"

"Yes! That just made them angry enough to probe deeper!"

"Weren't you wearing your Velostat underwear?"

"It was laundry day!"

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Human
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This has got to be a joke. Right?
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eslaine
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[ROFL]
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Teshi
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quote:
The Velostat made by 3M works!
And this is not at all affiliated with 3M!
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:Locke
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It really does work. They didn't pay me anything to say that.
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Steel
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[The Wave]

Just thought I'd throw some more graemlins out there.

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Megachirops
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The testimonials, and the Aliens And Children page, really saddened me. I can see my mother totally falling for this bunk. A lot of these delusional/logic-impaired people remind me of her. What really saddens and disgusts me, though, is that they are brainwashing their own children to believe they have been abducted, etc. Children learn to get attention from adults by telling them what they want to hear, and so it is dangerously irresponsible for a parent to encourage a child to go down some of these paths in their imagination. A couple of the quotes and most of the drawings by children included pretty vivid recountings of these "events." This strikes me as psychologically very damaging.

(And, of course, it reminds me of what I went through, though this seems even worse in some ways.)

I know we're all just having a laugh at the idiots' expense, and believe me, I am too. Except thinking about what some of these idiots are doing to their kids saddens me.

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TomDavidson
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I have a question....

We feel entitled to laugh at and pity people who believe they have personally been contacted by aliens, but we consider it rude to publicly mock people who think they've been contacted by God. Why?

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rivka
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The aliens said we could.
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mackillian
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Kayla will agree with me that it's copyright infringement.
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Megachirops
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Believe it or not, because the claim to have been communicated to by God offends common sense and logic less.

Now, stick with me here . . .

Most religious people describe their communication in pretty spiritual and intangible terms. "I prayed, and suddenly I knew what I should do." "I asked God if this was a good decision, and suddenly felt at peace." Or maybe they talk about cures or other events that fly in the face of probability, and see them as evidence of the Supernatural taking a hand in their lives. Nice and vague stuff.

When religious types talk in terms of having sat around with God and discussed the prospects of the Lakers for next season, believe me, I see it the same way as I see these alien abduction claims.

If religious types make statements like "I prayed to God, and my flight was not hijacked by terrorists, which clearly proves God's existence and His intervention in my life" (which is basically just recasting one of the testimonials on that site), then yes, I will think it's a bit silly.

And yes, my thoughts were based on the assumption that the claims of alien abduction are false. But it would be disingenuous of me to pretend not to have this assumption. My focus was not so much on the absurdity of their claims (in which your point is well taken), but on the fact that, assuming they are mislead, their leading of children to indulge in these victimization fantasies is profoundly damaging. And when I see religious types doing the same thing with their own kids . . . like teaching them to go on at length about the hatred and punishments God has in store for fornicators when they don't even know what "fornicators" are (I actually saw this once on 20/20) . . . well, I find that just as objectionable. In fact, I said these people reminded me of my mother in their paranoid deliusions. My mother never particularly focused on aliens, but she did use religion as an outlet.

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aspectre
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Alien mind-controllers made you say that.
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Mormo
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quote:
Possible Alien weaknesses
Reliance on telepathy
When the alien's telepathic powers are neutralized by the "thought screen helmet" they do not attempt to abduct their victims. Without their telepathic power they cannot render their victims passive.

Nutrient absorbing skin of grays
It was reported in The Threat that the grays sit in a vat of nutrients and absorb it through their skin. They do not eat as humans do. The grays nutrient absorbing skin may be a weakness as substances of strong odors or material sprayed on their skin may be absorbed directly into their body.

Thank God for Velostat and stink-bombs, otherwise we'd be powerless against these evil aliens and their vastly superior technology. [Roll Eyes]
Morbo

[ October 23, 2003, 03:05 AM: Message edited by: Mormo ]

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rivka
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*stocks up on stink bombs*

[Big Grin]

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porcelain girl
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a couple things, tom:

first off, a lot more people claim communication with god/gods. plain and simple. if everybody's doing it, it's not considered odd.
WHY so many people claim this in comparison to occurrences with extraterrestrials is another discussion all together.

the second point is in line with mega's comments.
claim to have talked to an alien face to face and you will be ostracized.
claim to have talked to an angel face to face and you will still be ostracized, even within many religious communities.
"it is just out of the norm, dear."

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Mormo
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quote:
“Still nothing new to report here...so it must work!”
And my lucky key fob keeps all polar bears thousands of mile away.
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rivka
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I have this wonderful powder. I sprinkle it all around my apartment once a week to keep bogeymen away.

What, you say you've never seen a bogeyman around here?

See how well it works? [Big Grin]

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BelladonnaOrchid
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Morbo is really a mind-controlling alien, and he's told us telepathically where to find that web-site, and what to think of it.

Morbo has also influenced your underlying conversation about why it is abnormal to say that you've been abducted by aliens.

See how well my 3M mind-control-proof hat works?

[Big Grin] [Wink]

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Noemon
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Wow, I hadn't delved very deeply into this site when I posted that link. How incredibly sad.

Can you imagine how horrible it would be to be convinced that you were being abducted and tortured on a regular basis, whether it was actually happening or not?

If I'd read further in this site, I would have approached it differently when I linked to it.

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eslaine
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I tried rivka's "wonderful powder" and got a rash!

I always knew that there was a little bogey in my genetic makeup!

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rivka
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People who don't read the directions deserve what they get. [Razz]

It says right on the canister, "Not to be applied topically." [No No]

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