posted
Today is the third anniversary of the day when I didn't leave Andrew at the altar. A lot of people lost a lot of money on that one.
Sure, I'm getting a present from him and our parents sent us cards and we're going to see Revolutions, but I just don't think that's enough. Getting married was a huge step for me - one I didn't ever think I'd be able to take. Between growing up in a broken and dysfunctional home, breaking off two prior engagements, and loving my single life, the odds were against my becoming anyone's bride.
Only an extraordinary man, of superior intelligence, wit, kindness, and integrity could have gotten me to take the plunge. I am very lucky and thankful that one came along.
I know that y'all are going to say that that is reward enough, but y'all are wrong. I want to be carried on a litter through the streets while everyone cheers and throws flowers. I will be dressed in a spectacular Zac Posen gown, which will never be worn again by anyone. Young Mr. Posen will destroy the pattern. Harry Winston will provide the diamonds, of course. We will end the procession at a historic monument where President Bush will present me with my medal and deliver an address praising my marriage. We will then all proceed to the grand ball, which will last well into the night.
Is that really so much to ask?
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
For only three years? Hah. Why doesn't he get a parade, he had to live with you. You married a saint, so married life would be easy. He married you, so he has had all the hard work.
posted
You don't get a medal the first year, silly. You get a plaque, presented by the governor of your state.
BTW, the pattern will be burned as part of the opening festivities, which will also include the Bedecking, in which all members of the retinue will be showered in jewels.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Will the groom also be doing the traditional breakaway pants ceremony, in which the pants he's forced to wear are converted into shorts in the blink of an eye?
A very solemn occasion, indeed....
(and congratulations, by the way! )
Posts: 2220 | Registered: Jun 1999
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posted
Hey y'all. I've been away for a while, due to lots of out-of-town company. Thank you all so much for your good wishes. Even though I didn't get my parade or my medal, we had a very nice anniversary. I didn't even freak out about being married for so long.
Of course, that doesn't mean that there will be no parade next year. I'm thinking Marc Jacobs for the parade and presentation wear and one of the Chanel wunderkinds for the ball. There can never be anyone but Harry Winston for the jewels, but maybe pink diamonds for the ladies.
quote:Diamonds preferred attire, semi-precious stones acceptable if worn in the right chic attitude.
CT, it's uncanny how well you understand me.
quote:Why doesn't he get a parade, he had to live with you. You married a saint, so married life would be easy. He married you, so he has had all the hard work.
msquared, you're confused. He married the saint. However, he and anyone else who is so inclined my spend the majority of the ball in a room with a tricked-out home theater and an assortment of buffalo wings and other unhealthy snacks. The theater will be showing only Monty Python and Star Trek and no one (not even me) will complain until you turn it off.
quote:I should hire you to plan our wedding
Do you mean it, Ayelar? I'm in.
quote:I think Wall Street should throw a ticker tape parade just for you!
Banna, you're right. They should.
Thanks Megachirops, Dan, MyrddinFrye, and Shan!
Anna, of course President Bush wouldn't present your medal. It would be some French dude. Or maybe Jerry Lewis.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
I don't even know who I would like to present me my medal. Not our president. So... Any ideas, people ?
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
Oh, I would be happy with only the man who played the chief elf who comes to the rescue of the fortress in LOTR 2... Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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quote:Oh, I would be happy with only the man who played the chief elf who comes to the rescue of the fortress in LOTR 2
That's Haldir, played by Craig Parker. And no hot actors. It has to be some stodgy official or at least someone unattractive.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Too bad. Then I would have chosen the guy playing Dumbledore in the first and second Harry Potter, but, sadly, it's not possible. So I guess I will live without a medal, after all Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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This is the sort of occasion that literally brings the world to a halt. If only for that briefest of moments all is right with the world, everywhere, at the exact instant of your anniversary.
Sure, things go straight to heck afterwards in a frenetic rush to make up for lost time, but that's not your doing, now is it? You give us all an excuse to be in love with the world again. And we thank you for it.
Now...where's my bubbly and slice of cake?
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Love the single life indeed . . . ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
So I guess I will live without a medal, after all 
