quote:I don't understand why you would continue associating with people who think that about you, and who condone the behavior of an obviously troubled man.
Is there another place you can go for spiritual connections?
Sorry to butt in, but I have literally 100's of options as to where I go to worship. If I were treated shabbily in a particular place, you can bet on me never returning.
You're not butting in at all, Bob. And, in fact, that is the solution I've arrived at. You know, when I joined the church, I took it as a serious committment. Still, when all this became an issue, I stopped going, and only went back recently when I felt the need for the presence of an organized spiritual entity in my life. I went back there first because I had made the committment, just to see if things had changed. I gave it a fair chance, things haven't changed, and I've determined not to return. The situation I've talked about here is one of the reasons, and a big one, but definitely not the only one.
Oh, well. I've always believed that the journey is more important than the destination anyway. I don't mind looking around some more.
I really appreciate your concern, by the way. You are just way too cool for school, Bob. Posts: 2454 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Have you considered writing a letter to the elders of that place explaining your position?
Or, maybe going over their heads?
I think if you put the whole situation in proper perspective for them, you might help them to see how their lack of balance has cost them potentially valuable members. In addition, it might cause them to re-evaluate the "look the other way" attitude they've obviously chosen as the path of least resistance.
My advice on that, however, would be to either do the letter anonymously or, if you feel compelled to reveal your name, to make it clear that you do not wish to be contacted under any circumstances and that you will call the police if that man (in particular) tries to contact you in any fashion. They should know that their behavior has soured you permanently on the place, but that you cared enough about them to let them know what happened so that they might rectify the situation.
Alternatively, if there is even one person there that you trust to listen to you with an open mind, you could just verbally talk through your decision and the consequences of their actions.
I'm not saying I would do any of this, but I really am saddened to hear of you deciding that you have to choose between a serious commitment and your own safety. Because, to be honest, that's exactly how I view this situation. The guy is not safe and shouldn't be treated as harmless.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
Bob - To be honest, I don't want those people to have any more personal information about me than they already have. Even an anonymous communication, in such a small community, wouldn't really be anonymous, so that isn't a viable option. I feel like I've long since done my part by registering my objection to the guy's behavior. His fetish isn't a secret, anyway; I think I was just the first (and probably only) person to object to it.
Maybe if that was the only reason for my leaving, I would think about making a parting statement. However, since it isn't, I think it is better all around just to take my leave and leave it at that.
And as far as the committment I felt, I do not feel that committment any more. I didn't even really feel bound to it anymore when I returned recently, but I felt that to be fair to the institution I should make a final effort to make sure that it wasn't me that was the problem. It wasn't me that was the problem. I am sure of that now, so I feel completely free to move on.
Posts: 2454 | Registered: Jan 2003
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