This is by the same author as the really funny TTT and really funny Rotk parodies. In fact, this has probably already been posted.
Don't care. It's hilarious.
(here are the other two parodies by this girl. TTT, and RotK. They are both hilarious, but I think TTT is the funniest. That's the first one she wrote.)
quote: They fight a TROLL and several ORCS and GOBLINS. Before being brought down by CG LEGOLAS, the TROLL manages to spear FRODO. FELLOWSHIP clusters around him.
FRODO: I'm okay. See? (exposes sparkly camisole)
ARAGORN: Um, I think you may have a concussion, Frodo. Now is not the time to show us your underwear.
GANDALF: It's armor. And don't discourage him from such ideas.
BILBO: I'm smarter than the lot of you! But I'll miss you anyway. Well, one-tenth of the one-half of you who I spent twice as much time with as I ever wanted to, for one-fifteenth of my life, anyway. So. Goodbye.
BILBO vanishes. FRODO's laughter vanishes too, pretty much forever as far as this trilogy's concerned.
quote: There is a noise outside. GANDALF reaches out the window and drags SAM in by the ear.
GANDALF: Stalking Frodo again, are we?
SAM: I'm sorry, sir, I won't do it again. Don't turn me into anything unnatural.
GANDALF: Oh, I know exactly what to do with you.
THE SHIRE
FRODO and GANDALF trudge along, leading a horse.
DENSE AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Hah! Gandalf turned him into a horse!
LEGOLAS: The sky wears a film of gauze. The night air breathes infamy. Deceit weaves itself around my fingernails. ARAGORN: What the hell is that? Poetry? I pay you to do two things: shoot stuff, and look pretty. If you have something to tell me, tell me in normal words. LEGOLAS: Fine. S-A-U-R-O-N is H-E-R-E. Simple enough for you, numbskull?
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Belle, that one is GREAT! Abrynne and I went to see it for the 3rd time last night and I kept leaning over and quoting the parody at key points...that was one of the key points.
Another one was
quote: ELROND: Oh, and by the way, Arwen's sick. The longer the Ring goes undestroyed, the weaker she gets. ARAGORN: Come off it. That's such a crock. There's no connection between her and the Ring. ELROND: Yeah, well, I guess they don't teach you everything in Ranger school. It's just TRUE, okay? Now go pick up a ghost army and save your grimy unshaven people.
posted
I remember reading the second one a while ago, and I wanted to show it to my friend because she had a shorter, less funny version, but I couldn't find this one. Now I have it bookmarked! Posts: 981 | Registered: Aug 2003
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FRODO: I can't take the pressure. Here. Have the Ring.
RING: Hey, pretty lady. You and me would look GORGEOUS together. Touch me, that's it…come closer…
GALADRIEL: Ooh…if I had the Ring, I could…I could turn GREEN! And BLACK! And make my voice all WEIRD and WARPED, and make THUNDER resound throughout the forest!
FRODO: Holy cow.
GALADRIEL recovers.
GALADRIEL: Dear me. How unladylike. I apologize.
FRODO: Frankly, I don't think you NEED the Ring to freak the hell out of people. You're doing just fine without it.
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