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The one movie that effected me more emotionally than any other, and I still don't really know why, was "A.I.".
Weird, huh? After watching that movie, I curled up in a ball on the couch and bawled for, like, an hour. At least.
That has *never* happened to me before.
I think it had something to do with my being a mother and motherhood being so sacred to me. I just came away feeling that every child born (even a life-like robot, I guess) deserves a mother's love. Maybe it was that combined with the unwavering faith and hope of that boy. And that, for some reason, pushed me over the edge.
I don't think I will ever watch the movie again. And if I did, I don't think it would have the same effect. Probably in part because I would put up a lot of barriers to prevent it. Crying so openly, so vulnerably, is exhausting--in so many ways.
I have always felt I don't get as emotional as most women around me do. I don't cry when sharing personal feelings in front of people as people so often do in LDS church meetings. Never. But what has an amazing power to wrench at my emotions and bring tears is music. It is embarrassing sometimes!
I have noticed that when I share such feelings with my children I am more likely to get choked up. Perhaps I have too many emotional barriers when I am talking in front of people outside my family.
posted
As for understanding women better, if I *do* cry "for no reason at all", there is usually a reason, and either I am not willing to discuss it or I think it is a dumb reason to cry and am not willing to face that fact.
OSC hit upon a bit of brilliance towards the end of "Rachael and Leah" when Jacob complains about not being able to understand women and Rachael schools him. She basically says that he shouldn't be so cavalier about lumping all women together like that. That he just needs to understand one woman, the one he is marrying (a bit of irony there....) She talks about how she herself doesn't understand other women.
I know I have felt that way. But I try hard to understand and empathize, and perhaps it is easier to put myself into the shoes of another female than into the shoes of a male.
Sometimes truly putting yourself mentally into the shoes of the other gender is a daunting thought. I remember thinking back when we were dating that if Porter and I ever got inside each other's brains for a day, we would both go mad! Insane! Crazy! I think as we have been married we have come to be more similar to each other and the experience wouldn't be quite as bad. I think we would still be deeply disturbed, though.
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posted
I'm pretty sure that if I weren't female and a mother, it wouldn't have had that effect at all. So, beyond what I have already explained, hormones covers most of the rest. Any unknown remainder I don't know myself.
Edit: If you are wondering what I meant by "faith" and "hope" of the boy, it has nothing to do with religion, at least not a lot. It was faith in and hope for his mother's love.
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