posted
Tom- Getting a nanny is better on many counts for children under five, but especially for children under two:
1- You don't have to wake-up the baby to pick her up or drop her off. 2- The baby isn't exposed to all the germs of all the other daycare kids. 3- A good nanny becomes another family member that you will learn to love as much as your baby does. 4- The nanny probably won't cost that much more than a good daycare, especially when baby number two comes along. 5- Most nannies will do light housekeeping while the baby naps.
Sharing is a great idea. What I did was talk to parents who had kids going into kindergarten or first grade. This is the typical age where the nanny becomes just a good family friend rather than an employee and available for the next family.
Another source is an agency. We have one in California called "Mary Poppins to Order" that is very good and gave us 8 - 10 candidates to choose from. If you don't like any of their initial candidates, (which we didn't), they will keep looking until they find the practically perfect person to look after the baby.
In any case, make sure that you get a chance to talk to both the parents and the children that your prospective nanny looked after.
Posts: 2425 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Slash - I get you. So, do we offer the same tax credit to at-home parents that working parents get now for paying for childcare, or should we take away the tax credit the working parents get and not give a credit to anyone?
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote: When I tried child care for a short time, I was appalled at some of the things other parents thought was "no big deal" that WERE a big deal in my home..
This is the same reason I stopped babysitting (except on rare occasions). All the kids in my extended family are preschoolers with appalling behavior, which I could not adequately discipline, and it wasn't even really my place to decide that it was appalling. I could make rules for my home and try to get them to stick to it, but I actually had a mother tell me not to put her child in the corner or in bed, which left me with basically no means of discipline. It always ended up being a struggle because my son would imitate, and I would be forced to decide to discipline equally (which I couldn't really do) or not discipline at all.
quote: But for growing up a "daycare kid" he doesn't appear tooo much worse for the wear, other than having an encylopedic knowledge of cartoons I've never seen!
I have to say this really depends on your kid (or SO in whatever case) and that you really have to suss them out before you make a decision. My husband was left home alone in Tai Pei if you can imagine, from the age of six. He didn't speak the language (at least until he was older) and the only time he had babysitters, they were men who would steal and threaten him. He grew up well, but then he has a very solid personality. Most kids aren't like that.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I was thinking about your post last night and I realized that you weren't talking about me. I appreciate your clarification and I want to say that I agree with basically everything you have said in your latest post on the subject.
Posts: 1336 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Okay, I won't judge parenting skills. But judging from the results (i.e., two adorable kids) I'd nonjudgmentally say you're doing just fine
You haven't met mine yet, Icarus, but then I haven't received copies of your shots records and list of allergies. Remember, no sudden movements and keep your hand flat if you feed them.
Posts: 7790 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
Sorry Icarus, I haven't left serious threads forever. Thanks for responding, and I appreciate your words. I do tend to come off as self-righteous sometimes, and some of the threads yesterday made me realize it.
This isn't a huge hot-button topic for me. I'll never condemn anyone for working instead of staying home. I know there are so many circumstances that make it necessary for both spouses to work, or for the mom to work, and I totally respect their choices. I still do think that a parent should stay home with the kids if at all possible, but I know it isn't in many situations. That doesn't mean working parents love or care for their kids any less.
I am grateful that we are in a situation where my wife can stay home. I am grateful that she is willing to do it while I go to work. I think it's the best situation for our kids. I used our own financial situation not to toot my own horn but because it's the only one I'm intimately acquainted with. I know it could change at any time. I would try as hard as I could in any case to have one of us be home with the kids, but I know that might not always be possible.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Did you read my reply? I think you mistook my tone. My negative tone was towards those who expect me to pay (in the form of taxes) for their childcare.
My tone was not towards those who pay their own childcare, or stay home with their kids. In either of those two cases, I am quite neutral as to which is better.
I mean, since neither costs me anything.
So, actually, I do have a bad attitude. It's just a different bad attitude from the one you read into it.
Posts: 5383 | Registered: Dec 1999
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posted
Yeah, I read your reply. Sorry for not specifically replying to your reply--I wasn't ignoring you or anything. Yeah, I absolutely see where you're coming from. In fact, as I mentioned in my first post here, I completely understand your sentiment, about not wanting to pay for other people's decisions one way or the other. I was just objecting to the wording, and as I said before, I'm much more touchy about things relating to my kids, and my love of my kids, than about anything else.
Posts: 1112 | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guess what, you can't have both. You can't. Either stay at home with the kids that you chose to create, or stuff them into assembly line daycare tended by workers that make less than a good pizza delivery guy. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I agree with this, Slash - that's why I quit my job to stay home with my kids until they were well into middle school. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just to clarify my previous post, quoted above:
I did not intend for my statement to be an indictment of anyone else's decision, but rather a reason why I chose to stay home when I had children. It's also partly the reason why I didn't have children until rather late. My husband and I had been working a few years by then and had a little savings (which has been used up and then some by now!). And probably, if I were a teacher, I would have gone back to work sooner, when my children started school, for the reasons Icky cited. (In fact, I did do some substitute teaching in my children's school when they were in elementary school.)
I would never suggest that someone was selfish and didn't love their kids if they didn't quit their jobs, or that they were somehow an unfit parent. I'm sorry if my remarks were read that way.
Posts: 5771 | Registered: Nov 2000
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