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Author Topic: adoption advice
delicate flower
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My boss is in the first stages of thinking about adoption and keeps asking me what I know about other countries (which is really a very limited amount of information.)

So if anyone here has adopted a child from another country, I would love to hear about it so I can go into work and amaze my boss with my wealth of knowledge (not to mention maybe help her make a life altering desision.)

She is esp. interested in Guatamala (sp?). She has heard that people there kidnap babies and sell them to Americans, and she doesn't want to be a part of that. She is also concerned about things like health factors and her responsiblity to raise such a child with knowledge of their own culture. I would really be interested in anything anyone has to say on this.

BTW, this is a true story. I'm not making up "my boss" when I'm really talking about myself.

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lcarus
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I adopted from the good old US of A . . . sorry I can't help.
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Papa Moose
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You might ask Dan_raven about his experiences, or search for a thread or two in which he already wrote about them. I don't think the threads are old enough to have been deleted yet.
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TomDavidson
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Why doesn't she adopt one of the thousands of American children waiting for parents?
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delicate flower
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I did ask her about US adoption, and she didn't really have too good of an answer, I think she is still exploring all her options. Honestly I'm not even sure why she is thinking about adoption. From other things she has said, I don't think she can't have children of her own, which may be a reason she's looking out of the country. I don't know much about it, but isn't it harder for fertile people to adopt in the USA?
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AvidReader
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Is it just me or does adoption in this country make no sense? We want kids to be raised by parents of their very own. We all agree it's really important. Yet the government charges around $10,000 to adopt. Why would we charge anything besides some fees to do a background check and file the paperwork?

The expense is why my cousin kept trying to have a child of her own instead of adopting. Had it been cheaper, there would have been one more child out of foster care and with a stable, loving family of his or her own. I think I need to write my Congressman.

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Farmgirl
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delicate flower,

I had a co-worker who adopted from Guatamala, but I don't know a lot about it (she no longer works -- stays home with the baby, and I don't get to talk to her much)

But I DO remember that it took like - FOREVER. Like the baby was promised to them when it was still and infant, and Guatamala kept coming up with one reason after another for the boy not to come here. They went through years of paperwork -- we kept watching this child grow through "pictures" on her cubicle wall while they waited for more word -- and made a couple of trips to the country. She would say he was coming in June -- then there would be a government delay and it was going to be December -- then delayed again until March, etc.

He did finally arrive, two years old, and was not in great health. She had to get him a lot of medical attention for pneumonia the first half of the year he arrived.

I think all is well now. I just remember really feeling sorry for her to keep getting her hopes up and then they would give another delay.

Farmgirl

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beverly
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Our landlord family before we bought the house we currently live in have their own adoption agency. They believe so strongly in adoption that after raising their own 6 kids, they adopted 6 more (from Ethiopia and India). Their agency is non-profit. They don't see a nickel out of it. In fact, they probably spend some of their retirement money on it regularly.

They just recently finished building a new orphanage in Haiti. You see, the LDS bishop down there was taking in orphans, and there was something like 23 kids in a 20-20 one room hut. They were turning away babies all the time (no room!) They have done amazing work and have really gotten the community involved, raising money, people actually flying out to Haiti and helping build. It has been incredible.

Their 6 adopted kids are so great. They are some of the best kids I have ever known. I highly recommend these guys to your boss. The name of the agency is WestSands adoption (their names are Weston and Sandy Whatcott) and I believe they have a website.... Hmm, appears not to be up right now.

Here is an email addy And last I knew the phone number was 801-377-4379. I know that they were in the process of selling their home and moving, though, so I don't know if you would even be able to contact them with the above info.

Even if they are no longer doing adoptions, they have plenty of connections. Their daughter just recently adopted a little Chinese girl (adorable!)

Good luck!

[ March 13, 2004, 06:01 PM: Message edited by: beverly ]

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lcarus
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quote:
Is it just me or does adoption in this country make no sense? We want kids to be raised by parents of their very own. We all agree it's really important. Yet the government charges around $10,000 to adopt. Why would we charge anything besides some fees to do a background check and file the paperwork?

The expense is why my cousin kept trying to have a child of her own instead of adopting. Had it been cheaper, there would have been one more child out of foster care and with a stable, loving family of his or her own. I think I need to write my Congressman.

Um, this is not true.

The expenses are associated with private adoptions, and they go to pay for the birth mother's expenses in binging a baby to term. They do not go to the government. In fact, the government gives all sorts of incentives in tax credits to adoptive parents.

Parents who pay a birth mother these expenses are not removing a child from the foster system, they are getting a child who was never in the system to begin with. Children in the system can be had with virtually no expenses at all (we paid a lawyer $400, and this included his fees and whatever paperwork fees, like the new birth certificates, for both kids) and in most cases there are financial incentives from the government as well. I received tax credits for each of the first two years, the girls get free medicaid until they turn eighteen, free tuition at any Florida public university, and we receive $280 a month per child until they are eighteen (or no longer dependent on us, whichever comes first).

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AvidReader
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Why is it I never think to question my cousins on this sort of thing? I know my family well enough to know they exaggerate everything. *sigh* One day I'll learn. Thanks for setting me straight, Icarus.
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