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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » The Joys of Motorboating

   
Author Topic: The Joys of Motorboating
skillery
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I like to hang out at the boat launch and watch the idiots put their boats in and take them out of the water.

A couple of years ago I was at the boat ramp at Strawberry Reservoir when a fellow with one of those roller-bunk trailers came barreling down the ramp. He slammed on his brakes, and the 20-foot boat came off the trailer…before it got to the water. He had the prop all the way down, so the stern of the boat was up in the air. Apparently he and his buddies had already started with the beer drinking, because they all leaned on the boat and tried to push it into the water…with the prop still down. I heard scraping metal and saw sparks as they inched the boat down the ramp.

Last year, while vacationing in Ireland, I watched a boat trailer come unhitched from the tow vehicle as the boat was being backed down the ramp. The boat and trailer flew down the ramp and into the water. The boat floated; the trailer went to the bottom of the bay. The guy’s wife dove into the water and finally found the trailer 200 yards beyond the end of the ramp. The fellow in the boat threw her a line and she dove down and attached it to the trailer. They tried to use the boat to tow the trailer back to the ramp, but the trailer snagged on something. The guy backed the boat up and took a full-throttle, running start in an attempt to dislodge the trailer. The line snapped tight, and the boat flipped up on its side, spilling passengers into the drink. They were finally able to retrieve the trailer with the help of a crane and a long cable. They drew quite a crowd.

I have done my share of providing the entertainment at the boat ramp. Once when putting my boat in, I forgot to have my buddy hold the line, and the boat floated out into the lake with nobody in it. Luckily nobody was watching, but that also meant that there was nobody there with a boat to retrieve mine. We had to walk around the bay to retrieve it on the far shore. Another time I forgot to put the plug in. And once when putting my boat on the trailer, I came in too fast and shot the boat over the trailer and into the back of my van.

The best boating story I ever heard was of a fellow who borrowed his buddy’s boat and drove it all day, complaining of the lousy performance. When he got back to the boat ramp he discovered that the trailer was still attached to the boat.

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MEC
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I bet you five bucks that someone's ganna make a dobie out of this thread.
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Christy
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Yeah, but have you seen someone drive up the ramp with the boat not latched onto the trailer and the boat fall off the back? *wince*

I love it, too, when a bunch of guys decide the boat isn't on straight and instead of putting it back in the water all get on one side of the boat and jump or pull to level it off?

I love to watch husbands and wives interact while trying to get a boat out of the water. Half the time I'm surprised that their marriages withstand the event!

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skillery
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quote:
Christy:

I love to watch husbands and wives interact while trying to get a boat out of the water...

A finely-tuned husband/wife boat launching team is a wonder to behold. I saw a team that used hand signals instead of yelling to indicate when to stop backing down the ramp and when to pull forward. The wife expertly backed the boat off the trailer and moored it to the dock. The husband parked the truck and returned with two yappy dogs. The dogs jumped onto the boat and took their designated positions. And the wife, not the husband, drove the boat out into the lake. Must have been HER boat.
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beatnix19
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My grandparents had a lake house until last year but we always spent time up there as kids. In high school me and a few buddies were out on the water. My friend Kevin and I were in a little two seat Baja speedboat. I was letting Kevin drive which was a mistake because he is not the smartest guy in the world. My other two friends where in our little fishing boat. One of them was being pulled on an innertube. Kevin thought it would be funny to buzz by the tube a couple of time and it was. But I finally put a stop to it and that's when kevin uttered those three little words that always mean troble "One more time"

He cut it too close, nearly decapitated the guy on the tube, cut through the tow line, and ran head long into the fishing boat. The guy driving the fishing boat went diving off the front, the guy on the tube pissed himself and the motor on our baja dropped off into the water. I dove in to save the engine and actually found it. Every one regrouped and we went home and put everything away. To this day no one ever found out about this.

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Dan_raven
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My personal favorite, was the drunk in such a hurry to get his boat into the water that he hit the gas going down the ramp.

The boat, the trailer, the truck, and the drunk all went under.

The boat popped up quickly. The now sober drunk, was a bit slower. The truck and trailer waited for a tow.

Then there was my father's boat. For a couple years this little speed boat was his pride and joy. Although it gave him lots of joy, he was not that great on the upkeep.

Some teens in our group asked to borrow it one weekend. He agreed.

They came back a few hours later, soaked and upset.

They swear they were just boating around the lake, when the entire boat moved on, with out the benefit of the floor.

The floor had decided to stop for a while. The rest of the boat stopped too, about 100 feet away. The teens got a nice swimming lesson.

To this day my fathers naval ambitions lie at the bottom of that lake. Then again, my father is the only known marine to ever make it out of bootcamp without being able to swim.

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Snarky
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Linky
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skillery
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Temporary Insanity
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Telperion the Silver
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I SWEAR I thought this title said something really really bad on a quick glance... [Wink]

Phew! Boating... mind in gutter...

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Christy
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My dad's name is Pete and so he named his boat "For Pete's Sake"
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skillery
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One of the most relaxing vacations I’ve ever been on was a 4-day weekend at Flaming Gorge Reservoir the week after Labor Day. We practically had the whole lake to ourselves.

We reserved a spot at a campground called Hideout, which is only accessible by boat. We loaded all our camping gear in the boat and left our truck and the cell phone behind.

Each camp at Hideout has a covered picnic table and a nice sandy place to set up the tent. The restrooms have flushing toilets, but there are no showers. We tied up our boat at the dock and hauled our gear up a small rise to our camp spot overlooking the lake. We set up our propane stove and had tacos for dinner.

We slept as late as we wanted each morning because there were no noisy neighbors, and then we spent the rest of the day fishing and exploring the lake. We took the tour of the Flaming Gorge dam and fed the giant brown trout congregated at the base of the dam. We explored the marina and admired the big cabin cruisers.

On our last day, the silence was interrupted by a huge, twin-engine cigarette boat that came roaring down the canyon. He headed straight for the campground, paying no attention to the “no wake” buoys. Suddenly the noise stopped. We looked down on the lake and saw the boat adrift, surrounded by a cloud of bottom mud in the water. He’d hit a sandbar. I’d always dreamt of owning a cigarette boat, but apparently cigarette boat drivers don’t know how to relax. I was happy to own a clunker boat.

We left the lake that afternoon totally refreshed.

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angelily
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Does it mean I'm perverted if I read "motorboating" as something completely different?

[ March 18, 2004, 03:49 AM: Message edited by: angelily ]

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Ryuko
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No, everyone else did the same... Trust me. If they say they didn't, they're SO lying.
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