posted
Boy, mack, I am glad that my husband wasn't like your ex-fiancee.
My husband was not so invested in my taking his last name. I really wanted to keep my name, we discussed it, and we came to an agreement.
I am sure it has not lessened our family identity. My kids certainly know that I am their mother, and both their father and I have good relationships with our kids. Nor have they felt funny about it among their friends, though, as I said above, it is not the norm in our community.
I think couples and families should do whatever works for them, and whatever makes them feel comfortable.
Posts: 5771 | Registered: Nov 2000
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posted
I never considered keeping my maiden name, but then, I wasn't particularly attached to it either. I've got four brothers who will be more than happy to carry on my family name.
On a slight name tangent, our culture also has a practice of not giving daughters middle names so that when they get married they can keep their maiden name as their middle name. My husband comes from a long line of women given no middle name at birth (on both sides of his family). I come from a long line of women who were given middle names at birth (also on both sides).
When we had daughters, he just assumed they would have no middle name. I assumed they would. We discussed it, I felt more strongly about it than he, so our daughters have middle names.
Edit: And as a bonus, his last name starts with the same as mine, so I got to keep my initials! ^_^
My husband didn't care what I did with my name, and I briefly considered keeping my maiden name. Eventually, I decided to do exactly what beverly dawnmaria described, and replace my old middle name with my maiden name. Hey, I never really liked my old middle name anyway. So, when it's something very important (and with a large signing line, since all three names together makes for a long signature), I sign all three.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Even though I don't really like my husband's last name, I took it when we married. For me, it was taking on a new identity, one that wasn't tied to my parents any more. It was a necessary part of my maturing process.
Now, of course, I think my original last name was much nicer. At school, I go by "Mrs. G." because I can't stand to hear the ugly German sounds of my last name.
Which do YOU like better? Cummings, my maiden name (means "stranger", and is of Scotch-Irish ancestry) or Gerig, my married name (unknown meaning, German ancestry, and is continually butchered by people)
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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Sounds to me that giving the sperm cannot be compared to nine month in your belly. BTW, if you want compensation, you can nurrish the baby for his first months. Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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I am greatly looking forward to explaining to people in America how to pronounce my name, and that yes, I have my husband's name, but no, it isn't exactly the same - he's Dedina, I'm Dedinova, we're the Dedinovi, how is this confusing?? *grin* Dedinova is the coolest name around (though you have to hear it spoken to get the full benefit). It's much less cool in English, though - means village. Melissa Village does not have the same ring. I'm also looking forward to getting rid of my current last name. Good deal all around.
Posts: 2762 | Registered: Sep 1999
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posted
I just thought of something I will throw "out there" on this subject. Porter's brother and his Japanese wife have done something unusual in order to be in compliance with Japanese laws and customs. I don't remember the specific laws and customs involved, but in Japan he has legally taken her last name, "Tori". So here in the states they are legally "The Bassetts" and in Japan they are legally "The Tori's". We like to call them "The Tori's" because with all the Bassetts floating around, everyone knows exactly who we are talking about. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Oh boy. I doubt I could get somebody to take my last name. Kids tease over last names mercilessly. At least they teased me. My name is very unusual. Mayo.
Having a middle name that's the same of a common retail store didn't help much. "Hey Nick! Did you buy your Mayo at Ross?" I can't for the life of my find why they thought that was so funny.
It's an Irish name. Mayo County. Why is it so uncommon then. Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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I'm going to take my husband's name for no particular reason, I don't feel it's a big deal.
However, if I have a daughter I'm going to name her after my great grandma and my aunt; Karen, pronounced Karn, it's an old Danish name that I want to keep in the family. I also want to keep going to family reunions, because I'm part of that family (my dad's side) and want my kids to be. I think that's far more important than their names.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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