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Well...while I sit here on the verge of my 28th birthday (it's tomorrow, april 24th), I can't stop myself from looking to the past and trying to figure if my life has been worthwhile. I use to do that at least twice a year (the other time being new year's eve). So, I throw the question to anyone who'd like to share: how often do you question your own achivements? It's hard, isn't it? I know it's very hard for me.
Posts: 1785 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I do, periodically. It seems to come about every eight months or so when I'm forced to update my resume. There's something about trying to make "changed diapers, cooked dinner, cleaned the house" into a valid job summary that makes me think about what I've done. In addition, the quest for a job in my field (Religious Studies or Classics) always hits home - I have to again and again reconcile myself to the fact that I'm NOT doing something glamorous, the likelihood of me getting a "real job" is not high, and I have to reaffirm to myself that studying what I love is a worthwhile pursuit.
Posts: 2849 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Eaquae - Studying what you love is a worthwhile pursuit. My degree is in Religious Studies. At the time, I didn't know what, if anything, I would "do" with it, except maybe pursuing hospital chaplaincy. Life has a funny way of working out though - I work in the engineering field (and have for 3 years now).
I actually try really hard not to look back at my past and evaluate its "worthwhileness", because I can't change what's in my past and more often than not, I just end up playing "what if" games. I prefer to focus on the present and look to the near future instead.
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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This has been a big year for me questioning my achievements.. Having started college, I realize that I'm not as quoteunquote "good" as I thought I was. Since I found that there were people here that were markedly better at all the things I love to do, for a while I stopped doing them. At this point, there is very little I've found that I can be proud of having done in my life. I can be proud of the way I've treated people, proud of the connections I've made, but rarely the things I've done. I guess I just devalue them, knowing that I can never be the "best". Even things that are very obviously something worth having done, like achieving my black belt.. For some reason I can't take the credit.
It's clear to me that the way I think isn't healthy, and I've been working on it since I realized this. There are things I've done I know I *should* be proud of but.. I'm just.. not. Usually.
Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I think about such things often. Easy to do while unemployed -- lots of time to think. But now that I'm married it's a lot easier. It's really easy to undersell the good things we remember and focus on the negatives. Having a partner to remind me of the other side helps. She's able to remind me of negatives, too -- she just doesn't have to as often. I don't seem to forget those as easily.
And yes, it can be very difficult and painful, but also rewarding and freeing.
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I used to do it a lot, just about everyday. But this week, I quit. Makes life so much easier. And leaves time for fun stuff like jello-wrestling. And its easier to relax.
It's been a nice birthday, so far. I lunched with my friends and friends at "À Mineira" (a nice restaurant where we can find the best food from Minas Gerais - a region of Brazil - outside Minas Gerais). Then, we came home to watch some DVDs, play some music (although I didn't play my piano for a very long time) and so on. Unfortunatelly, I have to sleep early, since tomorrow morning I must wake up very early (I may get a teaching job at a military school. Let's see how it works out...).