posted
It's driving me crazy. The constant never-ending arguments over issues. No clear conclusions are made, just more of the same set-in-stone arguments. Such as, "It's a sin." "It's not a sin." There's no real learning, no growth, no character development like a show were everyone wears the same clothes and the children never grow up and the characters are all the same. I don't think I can take it much longer. What I want to do is learn more about issues, learn to see things from different sides which is why I will sometimes torture myself with conservative books I can't even finish. I could barely even get past the first chapter of Hannities books. And why would I want to read about 300 pages of Coulter when I could read Elfquest instead? Instead of clear pure truth all I seem to see are sides that won't even TRY to listen to the other side. Perhaps the thoughts are unclear, but it's very frustrating to me, and when I try to learn about issues or something mostly all I see is snarky sniping. What good does it do to growl and snarl at a person because their point of view is different? It's the same hierarchical snouting we see among wolves, apes and other such creatures. Someone has to be the biggest, strongest. Someone has to crush other ideas and concepts either verbally or with guns just to prove that THEY are the alpha wolf and others must not forget it! This sort of thinking drives me crazy because as much as people think they are right there is always the possibility that they are wrong and mislead, even if they are following a several thousand year old tradition. How do I know if I am write about things? I have done a ton of research, read stories, listened to a few. I have been on both sides of the issue. All I want, basically, is some form of peace and if I have to knock down a wall to acheive ot or struggle I'll do it...
But really it wears me out... I think I am burning out when it comes to debates inside and outside of the net. Or, perhaps I am wasting time like i did back in school...
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
But I can't help the feeling I could blow through the ceiling If I just turn and run And it wears me out, it wears me out It wears me out, it wears me out.
And if I could be who you wanted If I could be who you wanted, All the time, all the time.....
Posts: 1681 | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Even if you're shouting in the wind....it isn't just the people who are arguing that are listening. I've really enjoyed seeing the opinions, even if I consider them bigoted or illogical.
You're right--some people you can't convince to change their opinion an inch. I think that they're a lost cause. But are they the majority or just the loud?
Posts: 270 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:It's driving me crazy. The constant never-ending arguments over issues. No clear conclusions are made, just more of the same set-in-stone arguments. Such as, "It's a sin." "It's not a sin." There's no real learning, no growth, no character development like a show were everyone wears the same clothes and the children never grow up and the characters are all the same. I don't think I can take it much longer. What I want to do is learn more about issues, learn to see things from different sides which is why I will sometimes torture myself with conservative books I can't even finish. I could barely even get past the first chapter of Hannities books. And why would I want to read about 300 pages of Coulter when I could read Elfquest instead? Instead of clear pure truth all I seem to see are sides that won't even TRY to listen to the other side. Perhaps the thoughts are unclear, but it's very frustrating to me, and when I try to learn about issues or something mostly all I see is snarky sniping. What good does it do to growl and snarl at a person because their point of view is different? It's the same hierarchical snouting we see among wolves, apes and other such creatures. Someone has to be the biggest, strongest. Someone has to crush other ideas and concepts either verbally or with guns just to prove that THEY are the alpha wolf and others must not forget it! This sort of thinking drives me crazy because as much as people think they are right there is always the possibility that they are wrong and mislead, even if they are following a several thousand year old tradition. How do I know if I am write about things? I have done a ton of research, read stories, listened to a few. I have been on both sides of the issue. All I want, basically, is some form of peace and if I have to knock down a wall to acheive ot or struggle I'll do it...
I forget. Are you describing the internet, or daily life?
Posts: 1515 | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
When I felt overwhelmed I turned away to find stuff that didn't make me feel crazy.
I set about simplifying my life, I cancelled my twins preschool because I realized they would only be home with me one more year and did I really want them to spend that in preschool just so I could have more time to do what I wanted to do?
Instead I am teaching them basic number and color concepts with M&Ms. We talk about anything that comes to mind. There will be lots of time to do other things when they are in school full time.
I watch movies (last night was EE Two Towers) and family friendly shows in the evening instead of Hannity and Colmes.
Instead of coming here to vehemently defend my opinions on things I write about it. I even dragged out a book idea and worked on the query letter and proposal and found out it was pretty good. And maybe getting published again wouldn't be such a bad thing.
I sell a few things on Ebay here and there to save up money for family vacations and a writing conference I have my eye on for next year.
I took a vacation, and found out that even though I had been longing for a vacation without my kids, playing board games and going swimming and riding roller coasters with them was much better than any quiet retreat I thought I wanted.
If you think that you want to quit the internet and stop banging your head against walls I have only one piece of advice - do it.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
The problem is the net is sort of my real life... Most of my friends are on the net as my friends from college live about 90,000 mile from me... Maybe I should give up debating, but mostly I do research just about every single day...
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
You have to take a longer view. Seeing people come to hatrack young and a bit cocksure and somewhat disrespectful of other ideas, and then stay and grow in knowledge and wisdom, into thoughtful and mature adults, with heartfelt and considered opinions (even if they don't match mine) I find that very cool. It does happen over time. You just have to look a little harder to see it.
Take a break, get a different perspective, but come back refreshed. This really does matter, I think, and good things are happening here.
Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
| IP: Logged |
posted
Oh, I don't mean quit the internet entirely - just quit the parts that make you frustrated.
I still use it for research also, for contact with my writing group, for Ebay. For things like this - I was frightened and upset about something and kew I could find help here. I may hang around and post some again, but I won't be involved in any of the issue threads.
I just don't debate and get pulled into discussions that are going to get me emotionally involed in something that will frustrate me. No reason for it - my kids and my family and my writing need that energy more than people who are likely not going to listen to me anyway, and just want to argue for the sake of it. I used to love to do that too, but at this point in my life I would rather be able to give more of myself to the things that are most important in my life. That being my God, my husband, my kids, my health, my writing.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I find that the longer I spend away from people with contrary opinions, the more far-strung (that's a combination of far-out and high-strung ) and self-righteous my opinions tend to get.
It's easy for me to think I've got all the right answers when I'm the only only who has to agree with them. It's hard to state them civilly and meaningfully to those who disagree; however, it makes them stronger and more centered.
I'm very grateful for those who provide me these opportunities to learn and grow.
That said, I fully understand your frustration and by no means am I trying to tell you that what's good for me is good for you. I do enjoy having you around, though. Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
| IP: Logged |
Syn, I know what you mean, and it may be time to cut back. I mean, I have, and has seemed to make things easier. I stilllike to come to Hatrack for 'play' and occassionally to see what the folken are up to. But, you know, you have to find your own balance, the one that saves your sanity.
That's one of the toughest lessons that comes with being an adult-- having to pick your battles.
*hug*
I hope you stick around and play. Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Thanks for the kind words. I am as bad as a moth flying around the same candle. People on this site, for the most part are civil except for this smilie- Which I hate because it reminds me of someone on another site that had the personality of a cramp, constantly attacking people to show how smart he was... Please... as if long rants= intelligence. I am simply quite dumb and I can't just stay out of certain topics... I have avoided reading most of OSC's political articles at least, it raise my blood pressure a little... I just wish there was some place where I can do research without so much... slant... just facts...
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Syn, I know what you mean about the moth and candle. To tell the truth, I find reading the ideas of people I disagree with downright addictive--I enjoy it precisely because I don't enjoy it, strange as that sounds. The adrenaline gets pumping, and not much does that for me.
Every now and then, though, even a warhorse like me has got to pull back, take a breather, and get some perspective. (And surprisingly, I have actually changed my viewpoint from time to time.) If you need to back away, go ahead. It won't bother us.
Posts: 1114 | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Synesthesia, I can understand your frustrations being aimed at a large portion of human kind who stubbornly hold to their ideas and perspectives and refuse to try and see things another way.
But that is what I love so much about Hatrack. Even we get in a tizzy sometimes, but I have never seen a place like this. The people here are intelligent. They are compassionate. They try to understand where other people are coming from. Trevor and I really did have a marvelous discussion dispite our different takes on the subject of faith.
This is what I love about Hatrack, what keeps me coming back time and time again. It *does* expand my mind, my understanding, my compassion for others. And I think it has that effect on most of the people here.
I can understand you wanting to withdraw from many of the more vicious of human circles on the internet, but I hope you always feel that you can express your mind openly here at Hatrack and receive understanding and acceptance. Goodness knows you and I don't agree on everything, but I respect and admire you all the same.
If Hatrack really is part of the cause of pain, though, do take a break. I myself have had to do that at times. I had to pull away and re-evaluate myself, figure out who I am in a vacuum, so to speak. It is one of the reasons why I am an introvert. I try so hard to understand where another is coming from, sometimes I lose myself in the process.
I, for one, hope you would return to us and would miss you if you did not.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
People on Hatrack are at least rather Civilized for the most part. After the Great Gay Marriage Debate of 2004 people mixed together and still remained good friends despite seeing things a bit different. It seems, however, like there's snarkiness where ever I go... At work People talk to me as if I am a stupid 14 year old. Plus friends will also snarl at me on some occasions. The political thing is a tip of the iceberg. Also, there's another forum where the people are mostly young, male and conservative so they are often quite sarcastic and caustic... But, what I really ought to do is something contructive like writing an essay about these subjects and publishing it for large sums of money.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Amen Synth(not in a religious sense) THat is why we must all rise up to strike down the the....the...everyone who is not YOU!
Posts: 143 | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
Love'em, hate'em, avoid'em - you're going to run into all sorts.
Whether at work or online - I do my best to avoid the more irritating ones and I've become better at taking a breath and stepping back. Or hitting the back button on a post.
If I had a dime for every time I've had to do that around here...
Syn,
I dunno about you, but snarkiness coupled with the shrill-factor does me. Over the past couple years, it just seems to have gone up and up and up. It is difficult to get any good information on anything one might be inclined to pursue self-education on because the perceived stakes have gotten so stratospheric.
that make any sense? I'm not sure I trust my own slant anymore.
quote: ---Over the past couple years, it just seems to have gone up and up and up. It is difficult to get any good information on anything one might be inclined to pursue self-education on because the perceived stakes have gotten so stratospheric. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |
Who were you before you were fallow?
Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Another thing; Supposed the other side actually is right? We can't always dismiss anything contrary to what we've learned or believed as a lie or propaganda. For example, I read this great book called the Last Samurai. In it Sybilla talked about reading some obscure book by a guy who went through an even more obscure book that had gotten translated so many times and had so much stuff added to it it was hard to tell what parts of it were the real geniune book or not. So he simply said, if the statement is stupid, a person who wasn't the genius author he admired said it. If it was smart, since his genius author can do no wrong, it has to be the original author. There's something wrong with that kind of logic. Bush for example. He's not the anti-Christ or the Devil, but he's not the brightest jewel in the jewel case. Furthermore, a lot of his policies ARE harmful. I'm not saying he's one hundred percent evil. I read a little something in a zine where he had talked to a transgendered classmate and said, "Now you've come here as your true self." which I thought was sweet and a nice compassionate thing to say. But, I have several reasons why I think he's not a good president and shouldn't be reelected.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Seems like most Presidential Elections anymore are about who you are "voting against" rather than who you are voting for. I find it hard to get excited about a candidate when I don't particularly like any of them.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
) and self-righteous my opinions tend to get.![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Which I hate because it reminds me of someone on another site that had the personality of a cramp, constantly attacking people to show how smart he was... Please... as if long rants= intelligence. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
