We don't want you to stop posting. You often give very good counter-viewpoints to issues and have made good points.
I just have to agree with the others that sometimes the WAY you say them is a little uncomfortable, even to read when I'm not in the conversation. I have nothing against most of the CONTENT of what you say, just the way you say it.
Others on here often disagree, but somehow the way you sometimes vocalize it sounds very much like a put-down.
I'm sure this is just because we aren't used to your particularly intensively-direct style yet. But you might just consider that we are all trying to tell you this in an "arm-around-the-shoulder" good friend way -- hoping that maybe you will see that sometimes the way you say things come across to others perhaps not in the way you intend to sound.
posted
If anyone has anything interesting to post on topic, please start another thread. I'm officially not reading this one anymore.
Posts: 6394 | Registered: Dec 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
Your decision. It seems you can 1) continue your posting style and stay frustrated that many people find you disdainful 2) continue posting while trying to modify your posting style to what is considered socially acceptable in this community 3) leave
If you leave, there will be people sad to see you go, and and I honestly don't think anybody will be glad to see you go.
But I certainly ain't gonna beg you to stay.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm not leaving altogether, I'm leaving this discussion. It has ceased being about the vagaries of sex, and has become about whether or not PSI should be offended at my opinion or not.
So, if I posted that I am offended that someone has an opinion I don't like, and concentrated on my offense above all else in the conversation, then it's the fault of the person I'm claiming is offending me? Interesting logic, and a great way to keep out any opinions you don't like.
Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
quote: If the Merriam Webster Online version of sexual intercourse is what you quoted above, perhaps you should read all of the definitions given carefully again.
Oops! My bad. I hate it when I make such ridiculous reading errors. Happens more often than I am comfortable with.
I am especially sorry that my misunderstanding has contributed to such a large and potentially hurtful misunderstanding.
posted
It's okay, beverly. The definitions there are what I based my opinion from, even though I got it from a different dictionary that said the same thing. Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I will attempt to recompense my own errors by easing this discussion back to the interesting topics.
Vana had a very interesting point about rape and why does it matter what kind of rape it is. I think that is a valid point.
I also wish to say that I don't think someone having homosexual attraction or even acting on those attractions is cause for them to be struck by lightning or have their city burned.
I do, however, think that inflated instances of homosexuality in society *can* be symptoms of something wrong with the general trends of that society, unhealthy trends. For instance: I think that when a society that has much ease and idleness, it can lead to experimentation (arising out of boredom and seeking something new and interesting) that people wouldn't otherwise be inclined to. These experimentations effect the formation of families, which as I have explained before, I believe to be crucial.
I think God only destroys civilizations that have become so wicked that there is no hope of rising generations being taught in righteous ways. You have got to be pretty wicked before that happens.
This is a reoccurring theme in The Book of Mormon. The phrase "ripening for destruction" is used.
Also note the conversation between Abraham and God about preserving the city for the sake of righteous. Unfortunately, only one family qualified, and it made more sense to God have that family leave the city than to spare the society for just them.
I think that Sodom and Gomorrah were not destroyed because of homosexuality. But as I said, I think that an unusually high prevailance of homosexual behavior there was a symptom of the sickness.
Edit: Perhaps if I had phrased my first post this way, I wouldn't have made Lalo upset and this whole mess could have been avoided.
Where did Lalo go, anyway? If I say his name three times, will he magically appear?
quote:PSI wasn't offended at your opinion, Justa. She was offended at the way you put it across.
No, you already stated that you assumed the worst. You were wrong. You refuse to admit this, despite my constant claims to the contrary. You are intentionally continuing to be offended, even after I stated long ago that I was not doing what offended you. For you, no matter what I said otherwise, it was "on."
And as a result, I got dogpiled.
Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Jutsa, I honestly didn't like how you said that first comment either, and I was hoping you would sincerely apologize, even if you meant no offense. It is too bad that it had to become such a big deal.
But it is more difficult to want to apologize when you feel that you have been unfairly judged. You could have included an apology in your first response to her, even while defending yourself about being disdainful. Not apologizing made you seem... more disdainful, ya know?
Everyone else feel free to ignore this post and respond to my other one!
posted
You have a point, beverly, but when being unfairly prejudged, should the person be sorry for what they didn't do? After I bluntly said I wasn't being disdainful, PSI could have apologized for prejudging as well, but did not. The could-have-said-sorry thing goes both ways. I wasn't trying to offend, and never meant to offend, but the constant harrassment that came after is and was totally uncalled for.
Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well, here is what I teach my kids. I tell them that if they hurt someone "on accident" they still need to tell them that they are sorry. Not apologizing gives the impression that they didn't mind the pain that was caused, even if they didn't try to do it in the first place.
PSI could have apologized, but I don't think she believed you because your next response seemed disdainful also in that it seemed to show no concern for her having been hurt.
So while I agree that an apology ought to come from PSI also, I think it would be extraspecialllymagnanimous of her to apologize first. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Because there is obviously no malice in what you say, despite my disagreement about the circumstance you are equating it to (your kids), I do apologize for PSI taking offense where none was meant.
I would, however, like to point out that Rakeesh has now decided to join the dogpile.
Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
This reminds me of something that happened at home last night.
My 16 year old son (6'3", 250 pounds) was walking through the living room, and part of his foot accidently stepped on part of his sister's foot (she was sitting on the sofa.) This was extremely painful to her and she began to cry (and nearly choke on the drink she was in the process of swallowing).
I looked at him -- he proceed to go sit down and just looked at his sister. Didn't say anything. She got MORE upset, ran from the room, slamming the door to her room, etc.
He said, "I didn't mean to step on her foot." I said, "I know, but your LACK of compassion after you did is what upset her more. There was no "I'm sorry if I acccidentally hurt you" or any such things said at all. You acted like it didn't even matter to you that she was hurt. I think that hurt her more than stepping on her foot."
He seemed to think he owes her no apology, since the injury was totally unintentional. I say he should apologize simply because she was offended, whether it was on purpose or acccidental.
Farmgirl (We women can be funny that way sometimes -- more offended by what you don't do, than by what you do)
edit: oh, and see? While I typed that, Justa showed he could be gallant and apologize. That was nice. Glad you didn't leave the thread, Justa.
posted
He apologized FOR me, Farmgirl. That's like saying, "I'm sorry her foot was in my way."
Edit: I don't want an apology. If Justa didn't mean to be snarky, then I am truly sorry I got so annoyed. I shouldn't have jumped all over him before he even had a chance to explain, which I did.
posted
I didn't apologize for you, I apologized for what you took as offense, even though I didn't say it. I won't apologize for what I really said, after all. There was no offense meant in it.
Really, guys, comparing me to teenage siblings is just more name-calling. I'm not offended, just annoyed. All you're doing is strengthening my impression that has grown since first coming here. Individually, you are all very nice and considerate people. When there is a perceived threat, though, even if no threat is there, you quickly become just the same catty, rude, and in considerate bunch that every other forum on the internet is.
Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
That's not an insult, it's a criticism. Perhaps you should self-evaluate and consider whether or not that criticism is accurate, Rakeesh.
Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I would argue that the criticism is not, in fact, accurate, and we as a community have been remarkably polite in dealing with you.
If you continue to stick out your chin and refuse to come down a peg, though -- and let's be honest, here: you're not being contrite because you're way, way too proud to show any contrition, or even pretend that you should -- I'd imagine that you'll find yourself less popular than you already are. This will only accelerate if you begin to criticize the forum at large for failing to recognize the rightness of your behavior.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
It is true that when someone is being particularly trollish on Hatrack, all of Hatrack unites regardless of their differing POV and gives them a tough time until they shape up or ship out.
Happens all the time.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I found it particularly amusing that in a thread dealing with religion and homosexuality, both KarlEd and TomDavidson were supporting beverly. That really says something.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm curious Justa--if an author writes something, intending it to convey what we'll call "Tone A", but virtually all of the people who read that author's passage feel that it conveys "Tone B", do you feel that the readers are wrong? Is it possible for an author to convey something other than what they intended in a written passage?
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Oh, I can be pretty catty and rude in dealing with Justa. But that's just me. I'm hardly indicative, since one poster doesn't make a community, and Beverly and PSI Teleport do not make a dogpile.
Posts: 17164 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
However, in our defense, I would argue that we are never more catty or rude than the person who's getting it.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
quote:and let's be honest, here: you're not being contrite because you're way, way too proud to show any contrition, or even pretend that you should
You mean it's not because I have been wrongfully accused, as you just did again?
This is really getting ridiculous. Maybe I should just not ever have motives of my own, and let everyone else decide them for me? Not only that, but I'm now being called trollish?
Bye, guys. It's been fun while it lasted. The self-righteousness here is too much for me to handle. To those I've had good conversations with, I hope we bump into each other out there. It's a small world.
Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
I hate it when I make such ridiculous reading errors. Happens more often than I am comfortable with.![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)
Glad you didn't leave the thread, Justa.![[Confused]](confused.gif)
You mean it's not because I have been wrongfully accused, as you just did again?![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
