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I work in a call center for the world's largest computer hardware/software distributor, and right now we have some of our customers in for tours. Coming back from the lunch area, I over hear part of a conversation that included the phrase 'vendor agnostic'. I had to laugh. What have YOU overheard today?
Posts: 5422 | Registered: Dec 2001
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I was working with some blood samples in the lab the other day. In our pilot studies people around the office donate blood and we do with them what we will. Like most people, we're all very lazy and abbreviate everything to as few syllables as possible. The latest person to donate was a girl named Marcia and I was looking for the control sample. My coworker was walking up to the offices so I hollered down the hall,
"Yo, Vraj! Have you seen Marcia's cont?"
Which sounded a little dirtier out loud than it did in my head.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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This happened last year at the office I used to work at. We were sitting around a conference table having a staff meeting. The office manager had discussed the normal staff meeting stuff and looked at us very seriously and said, “There’s one other thing. There is no reason I should ever be sitting in my office and hear the following phrase come from the staff area: ‘she’s such a whore.’”
We all looked at each other very confused until one brave woman raised her hand. “I think we were talking about Trista, the bachelorette. And she is.”
Well, that wasn’t much of an excuse. We tried to watch our language after that, but if you’ve ever worked in an office of all women, you know the conversations can get a little out of control.
Posts: 48 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I think I'm usually the one who causes people to stop and peek into the hallway. I was in my Sysadmin's office digging around one day, and he and another co-worker were just in side the door of my office. They heard "Whoomp... crash...crunch...Dammit!...thud" Then, "I'm okay..." - which was me, tripping over several boxes falling out the door of the office and landing on my keister in the hallway. Posts: 262 | Registered: Jun 2004
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weird conversation in the cubicle behind me.... using funny voices to say "I'm touching you now....." must be mimicking someone -- but the whole conversation is werid...
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I used to hear some gems in my old job - when you mix suspended/expelled kids and computers, it's a magical formula for very unique problems. One of my favorites:
Ryan [on telephone]: Your son has what kind of virus? A corn virus? I don't know what that is, ma'am. [long pause] Ooooooh, a porn virus. Kira: I'll take that, Ryan.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Ok, this wasn't at work, but it's worth adding.
A friend of my mom's gave her some freebie pens that she got from various drug companies. My mom picked one up and used it to write something, then she looks up and says "This pen is harder than most..." and stopped mid-sentance when she realised it was a Viagra pen.
Posts: 4174 | Registered: Sep 2003
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If I could find a boy who would have these conversations with me, it would no longer be gross. It would be precious. Posts: 1015 | Registered: Aug 2001
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Several years ago I was working in a place where one of my co-workers was British. He had the office next to mine, which was next to an impromptu reference library. My British co-worker was looking for a document, couldn't find it, and asked me if I'd seen it. I vaguely remembered having seen another co-worker, named Tony, with the document, since it was in his area of expertise. I told our British gentleman that, and he said he thought that might be the case. When I suggested he check Tony's desk, he said in that wonderful accent:
"I was just about to have a rummage-about in Tony's drawers."
I laughed for 20 minutes, at least.
Posts: 471 | Registered: Jul 2002
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I walked in on an old boss and heard "...she is so fired... Oh not you, dear... Go fill the mayo."
Also, when I worked at Einstein's Bagels, at the end of the day the remaining bagels get very hard and my friend and I would sometimes have a sort of batting practice. I would pitch the bagel, and then he would swing a bagel dog (long hot dog surrounded by bagel substance) and try and hit the bagel into the garbage. Well, my boss came in just in time to see me throwing the bagel to my friend. He swung and the bagel hit me in the head and I slipped on the floor and fell on my butt. My boss actually used this opportunity to try and sell me non-slip shoes.
Posts: 117 | Registered: Aug 2004
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My "work" during the summer is at a resident camp. I don't even think I could list all of the things the kids say. I fully reccomend that Bill Cosby come hang out at our camp for a couple of weeks and he'll be able to start a whole new season of Kids Say the Darndest Things.
Posts: 1547 | Registered: Jan 2004
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"Did you tell them to stop breaking their crap?" - "Is Aaron East up?" "Oh he's up alright, for now, but he keeps going up and down."
Posts: 2102 | Registered: Dec 2000
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I used to have to do that all the time when I did end user support. However, I worked for Corel, not Microsoft. It does not bode well for a customer when you have to explain to them about the start button and shortcuts, and they want to use your product to mail merge.
Posts: 5422 | Registered: Dec 2001
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At work earlier this year, myself, my AD and a another lady were sitting at the table between shifts, talking about menstruation. Our one male employee walks in at this point and asks, "Hey, is it true about women and chocolate at that time of the month,or has my life been lying to me all these years?" We ordered him to go get us chocolate.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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As an epidemiologist, I frequently ask questions like:
"How many people have you had sex with since last month?
and
"How many episodes of diarrhea did you have?"
and
"Was there an unpleasant odor associated with your penile discharge?"
Unfortunately, my office is not especially private, and I often wonder what my co-workers (who all work in vital records and planning) think when they hear snippets of my phone conversations.
Posts: 2069 | Registered: May 2001
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I like reading these. They're really funny!
I've worked on staff at Camp Christian the past two summers. Each summer, we've kept a quote book to write down funny things people say. I can't remember all of them, of course, but the ones that come to mind are:
"She married the man, so she didn't become a man."
"I wish my leg had a dog. I'd name it Fido."
... There really is a whole book of them. Too bad I can't remember them.
Well, here are some from my SCA quote book. Not really work related, but oh well.
"Now that we ate all those wonderful jellybeans, we know what crap tastes like!"
"If I had a dollar for every time I heard that this weekend, I'd have two dollars."
"It's an OK puppy, but it's a great turtle!"
Posts: 486 | Registered: Feb 2005
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Argh that brings back memories from A school. Especially that instructor. People who teach do not get enough credit.
We were in PT running on the beach and to make it interesting he laid down some rules. If he said, "SNIPER!" we all had to yell, "OH ****!" back and hit the deck (ground) to start crawling foward. He'd yell "clear!" and we could get back up.
quote: If he said, "SNIPER!" we all had to yell, "OH ****!" back and hit the deck (ground) to start crawling foward.
That brings back memories of ROTC. Waiting at stand-to at 4 in the morning, armed with solid hard rubber versions of M-16s (instead of the real one), waiting for a nonexistent enemy to attack us in the gray light before true dawn. What was said:
"What are we going to do if an enemy shows up? Beat them to death with rubber ducks?"
"Shut up, cadet."
"I mean, we could throw them, but then we'd have nothing to beat them with."
"Shut UP, cadet."
...I heard that a lot.
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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