posted
I was sorry to see mister boy's thread get deleted as well. I had been thinking about it ever since I left work, trying to sort out exactly why I'd felt upset about it, thinking about the object lesson, thinking about the the object lesson from the other side, etc. I was actually really looking forward to talking the mister boy about all of it.
I'll drop it for now, though, unless he brings it back up.
Mister boy--I hope that you haven't decided against posting here. You haven't been here long enough to get addicted to the place, so it isn't a foregone conclusion that you'll be back. Make no mistake about it--while I was dismayed by the tone that your posts took on as the thread progressed, I was absolutely delighted to see that you had begun posting here, and think of you as a welcome addition to the forum.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
Well, you can tell David that I was enjoying the thread. I'm not much of a political animal and I rarely post on matters of great import but that doesn't mean that I didn't gain anything from it. I'm hoping he will continue to post and if he doesn't I, for one, will be regretful.
Posts: 2022 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Sara, please mention to him that a lot of people complemented him on his honesty, even if they didn't agree with his views.
I saw a lot of support for him, considering he is new....I wonder why?
Not for his views, per say, but for him personally. I don't think that he needs to pull his punches, but he has to be able to take a few hits himself.
I would like to hear his views, but he should be prepared to accept the fact that I have my own opinions and views that might not agree with his...and while being American is a very large part of who I am, it doesn't make me incapable of rational thought.
I may disagree with him for reasons other than being American, you know....
As long as he doesn't get snarky, I won't either...
posted
I love CT, but if that is it, then it's too bad.
As AJ said, she would have done that to anyone else who was new and tried to do that, so why should MrB get a free ride off of CT's hatrack love?
Plenty of people here gave him a warm welcome, but he went and started something that deliberatly pushed hot buttons here, and he should have to face the music as anyone else here would, regardless of who his wife was....
And I thought he had done that, and it was over.
Too bad this happened at all.....but re-posting this thread was the right thing to do, no matter how thin his skin turned out to be.
quote: Too bad this happened at all.....but re-posting this thread was the right thing to do, no matter how thin his skin turned out to be.
Actually, if someone turns out to be thin skinned, I try to make allowances be more careful with their feelings.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Not when they start a thread basically bashing Americans, and then respond to comments on it in an offensive manner.
They have forfeited the right to the kid gloves at that point.
If his skin was that thin he should have posted a butterfly thread, or something inoffensive like that.
Not that I felt he was way out of line...I liked that he had the balls to start a real conversation right out of his intro thread! But you can't do that and expect everyone here to say "You're right, were all insensitive, pompous nitwits, and we should let Canada decide everything for us so we don't piss off the UN...."; I am exaggerating, of course, but what did he THINK was going to happen posting thing like he did, no matter how many times he "apologized" for it?
I would have like to discuss his views with him, but he deleted it when he got in a huff, and now CT is gone probably because he made it a loyalty issue....them or me. I even thought that some of his views were very insightful, even if I didn't agree with them. I would have liked to share my views with him as an American who doesn't think his homeland is perfect, and shared my views on Canada with him as well....but now it will never happen, all because he got offended when people disagreed with his rather harsh views on the USA.
If I am off base, I would hope that she will tell me that, and him as well, and I will apoligize....but I will really mean it. I won't be saying it to disguise my real opinions, or to placate anyone.
If this is a snafu, then I am sooooo wrong, and will eat crow for years if it would help....but I don't see how it could have happened by accident. Not a deletion of every single recent post.
posted
I didn't get to see them, he deleted them before I got the chance.
No biggie, though...we have all see a lot worse here, although I try to stay out of that stuff as much as possible.
I have been pretty supportive of MrB too...I just like it when people don't throw rocks and then run....if that is what happened, which we don't even know.
CT has never been afraid to speak her mind, and we have all benifited from hearing her opinions. I am sure that anyone she cares for is intelligent and caring too...but I need to get to know someone before I vouch completely for them, you know what I mean?
I think they sould come back, but it isn't my opinion that matters....if they even left.
Someone said all the things that Fallow said were deleted too, so the best case situation is that there has been a hack of a problem in the system, and this is all a moot point.
I really thought everything was better, and that I would get to discuss things with MrB....he has a different perspective on things, not being an American, and I would have liked hearing from him...
quote:And that is what you were trying to do, right? Be contreversial, and stir up discurrion? Why else would you even want to start this type of topic? You had to know that there would be some bent feelings, at least at first....
I would love to discuss this more with you, as long as you can hear me all the way up there on your soapbox....
quote:I would have thought she was the type to hang in there, knowing that she is very well-loved here.
quote:As AJ said, she would have done that to anyone else who was new and tried to do that, so why should MrB get a free ride off of CT's hatrack love?
Plenty of people here gave him a warm welcome, but he went and started something that deliberatly pushed hot buttons here, and he should have to face the music as anyone else here would, regardless of who his wife was....
And I thought he had done that, and it was over.
Too bad this happened at all.....but re-posting this thread was the right thing to do, no matter how thin his skin turned out to be.
quote:I would have like to discuss his views with him, but he deleted it when he got in a huff, and now CT is gone probably because he made it a loyalty issue....them or me.
... all because he got offended when people disagreed with his rather harsh views on the USA.
I had missed the rest of this thread, along with Kwea's extensive and multiple commentaries on me and my husband's lives, motivations, relationship and obligations to him.
Interesting.
This is exactly why I didn't write a formal goodbye.
quote:As long as he doesn't get snarky, I won't either...
A little late, love. If you and I are ever on this forum at the same time again, we'll have a talk.
But get this clear: my hiatus has nothing to do with you, with my husband's reaction to you, or anything of the sort. You don't know me, and you don't get to judge me in any insightful way.
Good grief, Kwea, my good friend Olivia's mother is dying, and my mother just died a year ago -- and it was the most terrible thing I ever went through. Were you my friend, as are many here, even if you didn't pick up on that, you'd leave me the dignity of not making me and mine the subject of a few unnecessary kicks when we were not here to respond. What on earth was this intended to accomplish, other than further divisiveness and ill will?
I wish I could say I expected more out of you, but I don't know you well enough to expect good or ill out of you. Let's keep it that way.
posted
You know, my husband was overwhelmingly distressed when he realized that what he was doing might just put me in an awful position at a time in which I was already wire-tight.
His concern was solely for me and making it right with me.
Enough. I have enough to think about and deal with already, and here's not the place to do it. I wish I hadn't responded to you, Kwea, but given the uproar over post deletions, I'm not going to delete this.
How about this: F*** off.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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posted
CT - I'm in a similar position. I lost my sister in this last year, I've done a lot of damage to my own life in the past year that I'm trying to repair, and I feel quite a bit of work-related pressure.
I needed some time for Toni, and Hatrack takes a lot out of time and emotion out of me. I'm saying this because I want you to know that I totally empathize with where you are, even if it differs in shape and size from where I am.
You should have let it go. You didn't walk away soon enough. Of all the posts you have deleted, that is the only one that deserves it, and the one you're going to feel the worst about.
Go take some time for CT. But for your own sake, don't let that be here when you get back.
I said right at the beginning, that I hoped I was wrong...and I wasn't the only one wondering, or speculating.
I also said that I wasn't that close to you.
Read what you want into it, but don't forget these either:
quote: Sara, please mention to him that a lot of people complemented him on his honesty, even if they didn't agree with his views.
I saw a lot of support for him, considering he is new....I wonder why?
quote: went to work today thinking it was all cool. I didn't even see all the posts that were so contraversial.
From what was left, it seemed that most people were cool with it, and even the people with the most reason to be upset had said it was all good.....
Weird, to say the least.
I would have thought she was the type to hang in there, knowing that she is very well-loved here.
quote: If I am off base, I would hope that she will tell me that, and him as well, and I will apoligize....but I will really mean it. I won't be saying it to disguise my real opinions, or to placate anyone.
If this is a snafu, then I am sooooo wrong, and will eat crow for years if it would help....but I don't see how it could have happened by accident. Not a deletion of every single recent post.
quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I didn't get to see them, he deleted them before I got the chance.
No biggie, though...we have all see a lot worse here, although I try to stay out of that stuff as much as possible.
I have been pretty supportive of MrB too...I just like it when people don't throw rocks and then run....if that is what happened, which we don't even know.
CT has never been afraid to speak her mind, and we have all benifited from hearing her opinions. I am sure that anyone she cares for is intelligent and caring too...but I need to get to know someone before I vouch completely for them, you know what I mean?
I think they sould come back, but it isn't my opinion that matters....if they even left
quote: I really thought everything was better, and that I would get to discuss things with MrB....he has a different perspective on things, not being an American, and I would have liked hearing from him...
If not as much as I liked hearing from CT...
As far as what I said about the Canadian thread, I stand by it, and I think since it was posted (even if it was later deleted) on a public forum I have a right to discuss it on that same forum.
As to you leaving, well, I said multiple times that we didn't even know if you had left, or if you had for what reasons. I also said that we (or I) might be reading the situation completely wrong, and if so I was way off base. I even said I would "eat crow" (apoligize) for speculating....
Now from you:
quote: Good grief, Kwea, my good friend Olivia's mother is dying, and my mother just died a year ago -- and it was the most terrible thing I ever went through. Were you my friend, as are many here, even if you didn't pick up on that, you'd leave me the dignity of not making me and mine the subject of a few unnecessary kicks when we were not here to respond. What on earth was this intended to accomplish, other than further divisiveness and ill will?
Nothing but to wonder what we had done here to deserve you leaving without saying goodbye.
Not that you owed me one....as you said:
quote: wish I could say I expected more out of you, but I don't know you well enough to expect good or ill out of you. Let's keep it that way
Pardon me for actually giving a shit.
Don't worry, it won't happen again...
But this still applies. Oh and in case you care (which you obiviously don't now), check the post time on that link.
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