posted
Ok gals, this is a question about men's fashion, which naturally is something that men know absolutely nothing whatsoever about. No matter what we are told, except a select few of us, we continue to wear clothes that would fit comfortably on Micheal Moore, whilst we are in the fourth grade.
So I finally took my sisters advice, and went *gasp* shopping with my sister, and more importantaly *double stunned gasp* listened to her advice! So now I wear tighter shirts, actually do something with my hair besides slam goop into it, and yes *very very very big gasp* fitted pants, as in pants that actually don't make me look like a prehistoric mammoth.
So now, every single male I encounter, including those who I have know for quite a while, are convinced that I am gay, because I dare to dress well.
The question is: Did I do the right thing, or was my sister just playing with my head?
posted
I shall respond as I respond to every thread asking a varient of this question: You have to post pictures. We can't tell you until you post pictures, so we can judge accurately. I'm sure your sister will be glad to take some for you.
Edit: We will be particularly well-prepared to comment if you post before and after pictures. That would be best.
posted
No, are any of you familiar with the stor Urban Outfitters? Blurble I got most of the selection their, no nothing leapoardy or pink, or purple for that matter. And digital camera is not a word my checkbook wants to hear right now.
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posted
Also, there is a difference between "fitted" clothing and "tight" clothing. In general, fitted is good. Tight is not always good, although it has its moments. I bet you meant fitted, right?
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Yes fitted is the term, im still getting used to it, so at the moment they feel tight, but it's defenitely growing on me.
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Urban Outfitters? After being your basic, all-around boy who dresses himself? Yeah, with that sort of change, your friends are gonna think you look gay.
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I live in a college town so their are a few more well dressed men in the area than in most places, but they still are rare. I thought I posted a link to the site, which would contain the wardrobe. Here it is again: Blurble
And this is one of the more successful stores in my town, so it's not like it's completely alien.
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By the way, Hi Trevor! We've never really interacted, but we seem to post on a lot of the same threads and you've made me laugh out loud several times in the last few days. Just wanted to let you know I enjoy your comments.
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quote: Urban Outfitters? After being your basic, all-around boy who dresses himself? Yeah, with that sort of change, your friends are gonna think you look gay.
Yes.
quote: That being said, once the shock wears off and women start reading your body language and not just the outfit, you'll be fine.
And let's face it, women do like a man who takes at least some pride in his appearance.
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I don't care what anyone says, Black Dress Shoes and white socks are cool. Just ask Michael Jackson.
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Alternately, as fashion goes in cycles, you can just wear whatever you want and wait for it to come around to whatever look you happen to wear. Bear in mind that, depending on your "look," this can take from ten to seventy-five years.
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My husband and I have been all over town looking for something he can wear that looks snazzy, dressy, or sexy, but not homosexual. It doesn't exist.
He doesn't have a clue what to wear. He's 22 and he still wears ratty old t-shirts and wrinkled cargo pants, and he's been trying to find a new style. It's been very difficult.
So if anyone has any suggestions for Jes, they would be much appreciated.
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posted
suits are cool, if he has a profession that allows him to wear them...at least once and a while, anyway. Not something that I would recommend daily for most people, but most men don't understand how good they look all dressed up.
Crazy Horse makes a line of shirts made of Sateen, a very cool looking, silky feeling material that we sell a ton of where I work. It is wrinkle-free (as much as anything really is... ), washable, comfortable, and has a cool sheen to it that looks good on most young men. You can wear it under a suit jacket, or just with a nice pair of dress slacks and it looks great. It comes in a lot of colors, from blue to burgundy.
Also, if he is going to dress up, go with real dress pants, not Dockers. DOCKERS ARE NOT DRESSY!
Sorry, I say it so many times at work that it annoys me...
You can find a nice, washable, very comfortable pair of dress pants for about $30-40 at any department store...JC Penny has several types with the comfort-fit waists, so he can no longer say he won't dress up because they are uncomfortable. Try looking at microfiber pants....very easy care, and very,very popular with the younger crowd.
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First of all, he works in masonry, so a no go on the suits at work, although he really wants one to wear to church. : )
He wants to know if a purple shirt sends gay vibes? He thinks it would be cool to wear one and looks really good in royal purple.
His other problem is that he wears 32 waist, 36 length pants. He can get by with 32-34, or 34-34, but it's pushing it. He can't find anything in the stores to fit, so he has to look online, but it's extremely hard to know where to look online if you don't know what you're looking for.
edit: to ask if any brands are very good for this type of style you're describing?
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Go to JCPenny.com (don't add an s on it, it's a ripoff company... )...you can order his size easily.
Or you could go to the store after looking at the site, and see if they have any of those types in....even if they don't have the right size you can see if you like the way the look before you buy it.
Purple is kinda gay to me, but it depends on how he wears it, and what shade it is. Also, there are so many other things to worry about that if he likes it tell him to go for it. I sell a lot of different colors to people, gay and straight...blue is a traditional business color, but if one of the most popular colors for gay men here in MA.... :downtown:
Dark purple, with a black or dark gray suit, looks excellent. Or even with black pants and a dark tie...but if he is really worried about looking "gay", whatever that is (it varies...trust me, I see a lot of gays, men and women, where I work... ), I would stay away form light purple, I do seem to sell a lot of that to the 'Hamp crowd.
All of this is IMO, of course...but I spend 40 hrs a week helping men pick out outfits, so I see a lot of the new trends...
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Khal, you gotta get the broad brimmed purple hat with a red ostrich plume, five inch high heeled roach stompers, and a gnarly, diamond inlayed ho stick if you really want to impress the ladies.
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posted
All shades of purple are very metrosexual. I never buy purple clothes for Andrew. Purple is also a very hard color to wear, especially for people with olive tones in their skin. I don't care for pastel shades on men myself, so I avoid all lavenders, pinks, and yellows for Andrew's dress shirts.
Men should never, ever wear pants with pleats. Always go for the flat front, unless you want to add 20 pounds to your midsection.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
PSI - as Kwea pointed out, "gay" is a state of mind more often than fashion sense.
Stick to darker colors as a safe rule of thumb. However, since he is married and won't be wearing the same clothes to go out drinking with the guys, he shouldn't be worried overmuch.
A dark purple is fine - I tend to avoid pastels and the lighter colors as I just don't feel comfortable in them. That discomfort tends to translate in my body language, so it's difficult to gauge.
If he's still worried about looking "gay", take a look at Undergear.com . It's soft-core porn for gay men and straight women, but it also gives you an idea of what fashions scream homosexual instead of a crisp, clean pair of khakis and a polo shirt.
My buddy is dyed in the wool homosexual, but unless you met him and his boyfriend of the day, you'd never know it. His fashion is very crisp and clean with dress pants, nice shoes and a professional shirt. He does have the flamboyant shirt, but even so it's fashionably loud and not tacky, if there is indeed such a thing.
The question becomes PSI - what is he dressing for? Every day casual wear? His usual choice of clothes is fine, just buy samples that don't have holes and frayed ends.
Slightly dressier wear? Khakis or dress pants and a polo or an oxford button shirt will do wonders - with a sports coat.
Throw Kwea a bone and he'll probably be willing to post links to a pair of pants, shirt and coat he think would be a good combination. Virtual fashion show.
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Mrs. M, I disagree on the pleats...very much so. It is possible to have a slimming pair of pants that have pleats. Oddly, the larger you are, the less pleats make you look heavy. Very slim men and heavier men look fine in pleats, its the middle ones, the waist size 34-38 that have the "problem" with pleats...they look quite good on a lot of guys.
It all depends on what you are going for....if you look at most suits, which are as dressy as men get (short of a tux) over 90% of then, including Arman and Gucci, have pleats. I'm not talking about suited separates, where you buy the pants separate (but they are still a perfect match) from the jacket, but most mainline suits today still come with pleats and cuffs.
They are dressier than plain front, plain and simple.
You can find a suit with flat front pants (I own one, out of my 6 suits), but they are hard to find...unless you go high end, or stay with the suited separates.
If you are really thin (and 32 is very thin for a guy), and you don't want to be really dressed up, then flat front pants are fine.
The only problem with them is that they aren't as comfortable, particularly when sitting for long periods of time. Getting guys to dress up is hard enough without going out of your way to make them uncomfortable. Baggy isn't a good look, but pleats are a good compromise between baggy and comfort.
Of course the Queer Eye Guys agree with you...but I thought that is what we were trying to avoid looking like...
Final thought is that it is a personal choice....but about 75%% of dress pants sold in the USA are pleated and cuffed.
dang...I guess that explains why nobody sells 28 and I always have to take in a 30 or deal with it...
I recently changed how I dress to a generally much more formal style, I find I like it...although I can't afford to go clothes shopping very often at all...I enjoy looking at the Mexx or Mantique for clothing, though...and bringing a sister is definately a good idea...especially when your decisive skills take a turn for the worse...not only will she tell you if it looks good on you, she'll order you to buy it as well despite any misgivings, and invariably I find I really like whatever it was I got on that trip...
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posted
"Sorry, I could've sworn you did. I think I must have meant Kwea."
You could also have meant another poster who hasn't dropped by much since the Bonduca days; the best way to get him out of the woodwork was to ask questions about formalwear or overpriced stereo equipment.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote: The question becomes PSI - what is he dressing for?
He's dressing for everyday but he also wants some hints on more dressy for church. He says he's tired of dressing like a boy, or something. I can't remember how he put it. I think he just wants to look polished on a day-to-day basis.
I swear, men, I had nothing to do with this. I'm happy with the tshirts, but I'm also happy to help him pick out something nice for himself when he asks.
The weird thing is that I can't seem to picture a suit that isn't one of those retro things with wide lapels that the Gap models wear with no tie and the top button undone. I doubt very seriously that Jes would look good in anything like that. And his tux had a nehru collar and good luck finding anything like that in a normal wear suit. I guess I just can't picture one that would be cool for a younger man.
Oh, and Jes really looks great in purple. He learned this by accident when he got a job with a company that's uniform shirt is purple. After being totally weirded out by it for a couple of weeks he began to realize how amazing it really looked on him. I think it grew on him. He wants to be able to wear the purple shirt with something that sets it off by being obviously masculine.
And I can't post a pic because I only have one of him in the shirt, and it's pretty terrible. I think he'd freak if I showed it to people. : )
posted
My husband wears a royal purple shirt. But he is a massage therapist. I think the important thing is that if you are secure in your own sexuality, what does it matter what your friends say? Do you really thing gay people turn gay because they like the clothes?
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Kwea had some excellent suggestions - if your beau has tradtionally worn baggy pants, a pair of new blue jeans and a pair of khakis will make a marked difference without going too far off course.
You can buy dress pants, but I don't care wearing them for anything short of formal or highly professional situations.
Shirts (fitted, not tight) can be had at the Gap and Old Navy. I buy my polos from Sprawl-mart, if you want to look good on a budget.
Your best course of action may be to just take him to the store, select an ensemble and have him try it on - that way you can find out what feels comfortable and what doesn't. And some feedback as to how he feels in it - since I'm not entirely sure what he means by "dressing like a boy."
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It is a matter of being comfortable in your sexuality, but it's also a matter of how people perceive you.
I wouldn't wear purple or salmon pink to a biker bar, for example. whether or not you think it looks good and how the audience reacts is another matter entirely.
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I think he means dressing like a little boy, as in whatever ratty stuff is laying around.
quote: I think the important thing is that if you are secure in your own sexuality, what does it matter what your friends say?
I'll have to ask him about this. My gut instinct is that he would be embarrassed to be hit on by a guy. : )
Let me elucidate that. I don't think it would be the actual hitting-on that would embarrass him, but he's painfully shy and I think he's afraid he wouldn't know how to handle it tactfully.
posted
For people who are ready to consider suits and other more "formal" fashion considerations, The Morning News did an excellent series on Men's Fashion not too long ago. The first part covers suits, then there are articles on shirts and pants and a conclusion. They did a very nice series on women's fashion as well, by Margret Berry...
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