Alternately, as fashion goes in cycles, you can just wear whatever you want and wait for it to come around to whatever look you happen to wear. Bear in mind that, depending on your "look," this can take from ten to seventy-five years.
Posts: 37425 | Registered: May 1999
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suits are cool, if he has a profession that allows him to wear them...at least once and a while, anyway. Not something that I would recommend daily for most people, but most men don't understand how good they look all dressed up.
Crazy Horse makes a line of shirts made of Sateen, a very cool looking, silky feeling material that we sell a ton of where I work. It is wrinkle-free (as much as anything really is... ), washable, comfortable, and has a cool sheen to it that looks good on most young men. You can wear it under a suit jacket, or just with a nice pair of dress slacks and it looks great. It comes in a lot of colors, from blue to burgundy.
Also, if he is going to dress up, go with real dress pants, not Dockers. DOCKERS ARE NOT DRESSY!
Sorry, I say it so many times at work that it annoys me...
You can find a nice, washable, very comfortable pair of dress pants for about $30-40 at any department store...JC Penny has several types with the comfort-fit waists, so he can no longer say he won't dress up because they are uncomfortable. Try looking at microfiber pants....very easy care, and very,very popular with the younger crowd.
First of all, he works in masonry, so a no go on the suits at work, although he really wants one to wear to church. : )
He wants to know if a purple shirt sends gay vibes? He thinks it would be cool to wear one and looks really good in royal purple.
His other problem is that he wears 32 waist, 36 length pants. He can get by with 32-34, or 34-34, but it's pushing it. He can't find anything in the stores to fit, so he has to look online, but it's extremely hard to know where to look online if you don't know what you're looking for.
edit: to ask if any brands are very good for this type of style you're describing?
Go to JCPenny.com (don't add an s on it, it's a ripoff company... )...you can order his size easily.
Or you could go to the store after looking at the site, and see if they have any of those types in....even if they don't have the right size you can see if you like the way the look before you buy it.
Purple is kinda gay to me, but it depends on how he wears it, and what shade it is. Also, there are so many other things to worry about that if he likes it tell him to go for it. I sell a lot of different colors to people, gay and straight...blue is a traditional business color, but if one of the most popular colors for gay men here in MA.... :downtown:
Dark purple, with a black or dark gray suit, looks excellent. Or even with black pants and a dark tie...but if he is really worried about looking "gay", whatever that is (it varies...trust me, I see a lot of gays, men and women, where I work... ), I would stay away form light purple, I do seem to sell a lot of that to the 'Hamp crowd.
All of this is IMO, of course...but I spend 40 hrs a week helping men pick out outfits, so I see a lot of the new trends...
Khal, you gotta get the broad brimmed purple hat with a red ostrich plume, five inch high heeled roach stompers, and a gnarly, diamond inlayed ho stick if you really want to impress the ladies.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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All shades of purple are very metrosexual. I never buy purple clothes for Andrew. Purple is also a very hard color to wear, especially for people with olive tones in their skin. I don't care for pastel shades on men myself, so I avoid all lavenders, pinks, and yellows for Andrew's dress shirts.
Men should never, ever wear pants with pleats. Always go for the flat front, unless you want to add 20 pounds to your midsection.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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PSI - as Kwea pointed out, "gay" is a state of mind more often than fashion sense.
Stick to darker colors as a safe rule of thumb. However, since he is married and won't be wearing the same clothes to go out drinking with the guys, he shouldn't be worried overmuch.
A dark purple is fine - I tend to avoid pastels and the lighter colors as I just don't feel comfortable in them. That discomfort tends to translate in my body language, so it's difficult to gauge.
If he's still worried about looking "gay", take a look at Undergear.com . It's soft-core porn for gay men and straight women, but it also gives you an idea of what fashions scream homosexual instead of a crisp, clean pair of khakis and a polo shirt.
My buddy is dyed in the wool homosexual, but unless you met him and his boyfriend of the day, you'd never know it. His fashion is very crisp and clean with dress pants, nice shoes and a professional shirt. He does have the flamboyant shirt, but even so it's fashionably loud and not tacky, if there is indeed such a thing.
The question becomes PSI - what is he dressing for? Every day casual wear? His usual choice of clothes is fine, just buy samples that don't have holes and frayed ends.
Slightly dressier wear? Khakis or dress pants and a polo or an oxford button shirt will do wonders - with a sports coat.
Throw Kwea a bone and he'll probably be willing to post links to a pair of pants, shirt and coat he think would be a good combination. Virtual fashion show.
Mrs. M, I disagree on the pleats...very much so. It is possible to have a slimming pair of pants that have pleats. Oddly, the larger you are, the less pleats make you look heavy. Very slim men and heavier men look fine in pleats, its the middle ones, the waist size 34-38 that have the "problem" with pleats...they look quite good on a lot of guys.
It all depends on what you are going for....if you look at most suits, which are as dressy as men get (short of a tux) over 90% of then, including Arman and Gucci, have pleats. I'm not talking about suited separates, where you buy the pants separate (but they are still a perfect match) from the jacket, but most mainline suits today still come with pleats and cuffs.
They are dressier than plain front, plain and simple.
You can find a suit with flat front pants (I own one, out of my 6 suits), but they are hard to find...unless you go high end, or stay with the suited separates.
If you are really thin (and 32 is very thin for a guy), and you don't want to be really dressed up, then flat front pants are fine.
The only problem with them is that they aren't as comfortable, particularly when sitting for long periods of time. Getting guys to dress up is hard enough without going out of your way to make them uncomfortable. Baggy isn't a good look, but pleats are a good compromise between baggy and comfort.
Of course the Queer Eye Guys agree with you...but I thought that is what we were trying to avoid looking like...
Final thought is that it is a personal choice....but about 75%% of dress pants sold in the USA are pleated and cuffed.
dang...I guess that explains why nobody sells 28 and I always have to take in a 30 or deal with it...
I recently changed how I dress to a generally much more formal style, I find I like it...although I can't afford to go clothes shopping very often at all...I enjoy looking at the Mexx or Mantique for clothing, though...and bringing a sister is definately a good idea...especially when your decisive skills take a turn for the worse...not only will she tell you if it looks good on you, she'll order you to buy it as well despite any misgivings, and invariably I find I really like whatever it was I got on that trip...
Posts: 1158 | Registered: Feb 2004
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"Sorry, I could've sworn you did. I think I must have meant Kwea."
You could also have meant another poster who hasn't dropped by much since the Bonduca days; the best way to get him out of the woodwork was to ask questions about formalwear or overpriced stereo equipment.
Posts: 37425 | Registered: May 1999
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quote: The question becomes PSI - what is he dressing for?
He's dressing for everyday but he also wants some hints on more dressy for church. He says he's tired of dressing like a boy, or something. I can't remember how he put it. I think he just wants to look polished on a day-to-day basis.
I swear, men, I had nothing to do with this. I'm happy with the tshirts, but I'm also happy to help him pick out something nice for himself when he asks.
The weird thing is that I can't seem to picture a suit that isn't one of those retro things with wide lapels that the Gap models wear with no tie and the top button undone. I doubt very seriously that Jes would look good in anything like that. And his tux had a nehru collar and good luck finding anything like that in a normal wear suit. I guess I just can't picture one that would be cool for a younger man.
Oh, and Jes really looks great in purple. He learned this by accident when he got a job with a company that's uniform shirt is purple. After being totally weirded out by it for a couple of weeks he began to realize how amazing it really looked on him. I think it grew on him. He wants to be able to wear the purple shirt with something that sets it off by being obviously masculine.
And I can't post a pic because I only have one of him in the shirt, and it's pretty terrible. I think he'd freak if I showed it to people. : )
My husband wears a royal purple shirt. But he is a massage therapist. I think the important thing is that if you are secure in your own sexuality, what does it matter what your friends say? Do you really thing gay people turn gay because they like the clothes?
Posts: 11012 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Kwea had some excellent suggestions - if your beau has tradtionally worn baggy pants, a pair of new blue jeans and a pair of khakis will make a marked difference without going too far off course.
You can buy dress pants, but I don't care wearing them for anything short of formal or highly professional situations.
Shirts (fitted, not tight) can be had at the Gap and Old Navy. I buy my polos from Sprawl-mart, if you want to look good on a budget.
Your best course of action may be to just take him to the store, select an ensemble and have him try it on - that way you can find out what feels comfortable and what doesn't. And some feedback as to how he feels in it - since I'm not entirely sure what he means by "dressing like a boy."
For people who are ready to consider suits and other more "formal" fashion considerations, The Morning News did an excellent series on Men's Fashion not too long ago. The first part covers suits, then there are articles on shirts and pants and a conclusion. They did a very nice series on women's fashion as well, by Margret Berry...
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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Trust me, fashion or lack thereof is no barrier to being hit on by a guy.
The stereotype of all gay men being fashionable is just that, a stereotype. A fun one, but by no means true.
By throwing out his old, tattered wardrobe and buying clothes that aren't hanging on to decency by a thread will not announce to the world he's gay.
If he starts cruising men, however - the wardrobe change had nothing to do with it.
As for handling unwanted advances - "I'm not interested, thanks" is usually enough. The aggressiveness of the approach is in keeping with the environment. A simple "no thanks" will suffice in most situations.
Really, I don't think purple looks gay. But then I come from a county where one of the college football team colors in purple ( and who is going to tell a bunch of football players, "Y'all look gay"?) Khal, listening to your sister was the right thing.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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As suits go, Dag is right....simple is better when starting a wardrobe. Stay away from fads....no more than 3 buttons, which has been a good choice for decades so therefore isn't a fad. Most suits in the US have been 2 button suits, with a center vent, for about the last 50 years, but the 3 button suit never went completely out of style.
Don't do double breasted, unless you really like it...it have been out of style for years now.
If you only have one suit, there are really only 3 colors most people should consider:
1) Navy....if you only have one suit or blazer, this is a great choice. It can be very dressy and traditional with white shirts or blue, or any traditional color, really. It can also be fashionable for younger people by adding some color....burdendy, wine, pale yellow, cream...just about any color, other than black, dark brown or navy.
2) Charcoal Gray: If you don't like Navy, then dark Grey is great. It can be formal or more casual, very similar to Navy...but some people just don't like blue...
3) Black: The reason I put black last is that unlike the first two color recommendations black is always the most formal color, regardless of what colors you accessiorize it with, and sometimes people feel it is too formal for anything other than Weddings and Wakes/Funerals. I still put it in, because lets face it...a suit is the most formal piece of clothing most guys wear...the most formal other than a Tux, period. Wedding/Wakes are a primary function of clothes this dressy, and so black is still a good overall choice, if not the best for more conventional wear anymore.
Pinstripes are appropriate for just about any function, but I would hold off on pinstripes ..unless you already have a good solid-color suit, and are looking to add to the collection.
Also, if you are younger I would consider looking at a European tapered suit, like a Pierre Cardin. The European tapered (3-button)suit is a more "fitted" look, and it looks great on tall, lanky people. It feels a little tighter because it IS tighter...the taper from chest to waist goes close to the body, about 2 inches closer than a traditional American cut suit. There is no vent on three button suits either, which is something most younger buyers like. It doesn't look as good on shorter people unless you are very thin as well.
Keep in mind, if you go with a solid color you can wear the jacket as a sports coat as well. That is something that comes in handy when you go on a cruise, where you have to wear formal wear to dinner every night. Usually there are 2 nights where suits are required, and blazers are needed for the rest of he nights...but if you bring one suit and one blazer, you can use the coat of the suit for the less formal nights...that way you don't have to buy (or pack) multiples!
JC Pennys sells PC suits for $395, but a lot of the time they are on sale for somewhere around the $200 mark. If the European taper doesn't feel good, or if like me you are more comfortable with a traditional 2 button suit, I would highly recommend the Stafford line of suits. They are a JC Penny suit, and more people in the US wear them than any other suit....they are made by the same company that makes the PC, Izod, Bill Blass, and other brands, but they are a JC Penny store brand so they cost between $50-150 less than the others.
Last but not least (about suits, anyway), make sure that you go with a wool suit. Wool is a natural fiber, so it breathes better than polyester. Wool will keep you warmer in the winter, but cooler in the summer. It also wears MUCH better, so that the suit will last for years. My Dad have suits (mainly Staffords) that are 5-8 years old, and they still look brand new....or close enough to make it hard to tell...
Please remember that black shoes will go with any suit, but brown does't, unless it is a brown suit...or some other earth tone. Also, whatever color shoes you wear, please make sure that your belt matches it! Black, brown, cordavan....just make sure the belt and shoes match. Although cordovan matches with brown sometimes....
I really like my Deer Stag (TM) shoes, and I have 2 pair I wear all the time. If I wear any other shoe to work my feet hurt, but with either pair of Deer Stag shoes on I feel fine at the end of the day. They are about %50, but are often on sale for $40.
See, purple doesn't say "gay" to me. It says "Roman nobility". But then, I've never been one to talk to about fashion. My idea of "dressing down" is to wear a tie with smiley faces on it.
Posts: 1814 | Registered: Jul 2004
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