posted
Am I the only person who hears certain names and reacts to them because of a person in your past who "tainted" it for you?
For example, before my SO became my SO, I was his best friend, so I heard about other girls he was with. One such girl was named Alanna. While I was visiting at home, my brother told me he was considering naming his unborn child Alanna if it was a girl and I cringed.
Another example. In high school, there was a suicidal young lady who tried to drive her car off the road...with me in it. So whenever I hear her name- it doesn't matter who the person is really, they can be the nicest person I've ever met-I get weirded out because they share the same name.
Am I the only one who associates feelings with names this way?
posted
I automatically like everyone named Daniel, but my liking for the name came first - there's no reason for it.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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quote:Ever since there was a really mean girl in primary school called Megan I associate the name with red hair and bullying.
Hee, hee. This made me grin, because my sister's name is Megan, she dyes her hair red, and she's not very nice most of the time.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
This explains so much. Or would if Kat thought of me as a Daniel. Alas.
As for me, I like to think I don't do it on account of grudges being too much effort to hold. But I'm told you don't realize how many people in your life you really don't like until it comes time to name your child. I imagine I'll be the same.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
I have an unexplained attraction to men named Brian, and I have no idea why.
The name Leann makes me spit fire. I know why with that one...a Leann broke up my family when I was a pre-teen.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
My wife does this pretty strongly, and it drives me crazy each time we try to name a child.
I'll suggest a name, and she won't like it because of some person she knew in 3rd grade.
What bugs me is if we name a child that, the aversion for the name won't stay. One day of calling our child that and the association with the other person will just be a memory.
Example: We named our oldest son Sanford. Before that, the name Sanford always conjured up images of the TV show Sanford and Son. But after a day of calling my son Sanford, that association was gone.
It just drives me crazy that my wife isn't willing to entertain certain names because somebody with the same name was mean to her 20 years ago.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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posted
Every single person I have known in my lifetime that goes/has gone by "celia" has been a sadistically cruel person with a knack for striking fear into those around them.
I don't have red hair...and I'm not a bully, I promise!
On the other hand, though, there are a few names with which I associate very bad memories indeed. So, I guess I see your point...
*peers at the Kevins and the Jennys suspiciously*
It's nice, though, to meet a person who has the "evil" name, but doesn't have an "evil" personality. For example, I'm friends with a Kevin now who is, slowly but surely, destroying the bad association. I hope.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
Having known two not so bright and quite obnoxious 'Mitchells' I was not at all looking forward to teaching a Mitchell this summer.
Turns out he was one of the friendliest, nicest, most intelligent and best behaved of the group. Now the name Mitchell for me has conflicting memories.
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Actually, I have long had a theory that there actually is something to this. I'm not talking about an individual Kate who was mean to you, or about good/evilness, but about personality. I believe names play a role in determining personality. As a teacher, I meet a couple hundred new people, with a broad spectrum of names, every year and get to know them well. Jennifers all tend too have one kind of personality, while Vanessas absolutely have a differenty one. Zacharies often have one personality, very different from that of Timothies or Andrews, who are much more similar to each other. Girls with "boyable" names, like Samanthas, Christinas/Christines, Alexandras and so forth all have a particular type. Honestly, I have seen it play out over and over again, year after year. And the exceptions have been illuminating as well: Emmas are all similar, except for the Emma I had who was British.
I think that as a society, we collectively and unconsciously attach an expectation of a certain personality to a name for some reason, perhaps because of famous owners of these names, or because of connotations of the sounds (I know that's incoherent; I mean monosyllabic versus polysyllabic, gutteral versus otherwise, biblical versus not, and so forth.) As often happens, on some unconscious level, Children perceive everybody in society expecting a certain type of character from them, and come to fit the expectation. Other cultures attach different connotations to their names, and so children from these cultures will not fit the mold that we as Americans are used to.
Sounds crazy, but after ten years in the schools, I think I'm on to something.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Icarus, I never believed in that kind of stuff, but there might be some truth in what you're saying. Why don't you write a paper on it? (not joking) If it prooves to be true, that will really make people rethink about the names they give to their children... Or not... We kind of tend to ignore the studies we don't like...
As for me, I'll probably always like "Laura"s (unless I have a really terrible experience with one, but I don't think it can override my previous experiences).
Also, I've come from not really liking the name Adrian (certainly not for my kids), to having two very good friends named like that. While I still don't want that name for my kids - it doesn't seem to go well with my family name - now I think it's a cool name.
Oana: it's a Romanian pet form for Ioana - which is similar to the English Joanna. My favorite cousin has this name. But lately I've met several persons with it that I didn't like, or consider "neutral", and the fact that they had that name didn't really change anything.
And I know so many people with my first name, that I can tell you it doesn't really stand for only one type of character.
Posts: 4519 | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
I have had the same experience as mph. My wife and I have a hard time finding names we agree on, when trying to come up with names for our children. She's not the only one that has bad associations with otherwise acceptable names, though. I do it too.
I don't think it's a coincidence that for each of our three children we picked names that didn't belong to anyone either of us had ever known to any significant degree. Thus, they had no baggage, for good or bad.
Posts: 1652 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Because of this, my wife and I tend to give our chilren uncommon names. I've never known a Sanford nor an Athena, and I've only known one Ivy.
I think that is part of the reason I decided to go by the name Porter instead of Craig. (check it out here) I prefer to have an uncommon name.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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posted
Megan - I'm sure *you're* lovely. It's just all those other Megans...
Of course, it can be reversed. I used to associated Nathan with 'brat' ( I have known a disproportionate amound of bratty children called Nathan) but having met some normal, nice Nathans that's changed.
(tt&t It is, isn't it? The funny thing is, I hate the name Anthony... )
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
I have reasonless name prejudices, mostly. Usually not because people tainted them, just cause that name doesn't sound safe. *shrugs*
Posts: 3493 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
My first landmark was about how my name made me go crazy. Kind of the "tell me about your mother" effect.
I don't think name patterns are always negative, though. My sister who was named after one of my mom's high school friends instead of an ancestor always complained. She also thought that saying her name made people scrunch up their faces in an unpleasant way.
So I think there is a personal rubrik for a name, from a personal association that we seem to be discussing, and then there is the social rubrik that may involve celebrities with the name (thinking of Saints as well).
An area that would be interesting to research is if some names are more common based on the birth order of a child. I think older children are much more likely to be a namesake, and have an old fashioned name.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
There is a lot of research on this, some summarized in the article Names and Personality. I think there are even books written on it.
When I was young and in my neck of the woods, "Sara" was uncommon. As an adult, I've found that to be less the case. My middle name, "Gretchen," seems to be more rare in my current peer group.
[ September 28, 2004, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
Posts: 2919 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
I really, really wanted to name one of my girls Audrey. Love the name, love the idea it evokes -king of a classical elegance, to me.
Hubby vetoed it because his first girlfriend was named that, and she dumped him, and he had bad feelings associated with the name.
I don't understand that, because to me no one person owns a name and no one person should be able to "taint" a name. I got dumped by a guy named David but I still like the name, a lot. I think it's an excellent name for a boy.
I wonder how my personality has been affected by my name. I was the only Adrian in my entire school. Not only that, when one does run into a female Adrian it's usually spelled Adrienne. Or Adriane. My mother christened me with the masculine spelling of the name because I was named for my maternal grandfather.
Had I kept my birth name, it might have been better, my last name was very French. But when I was adopted by my stepfather after my mother remarried, my name just seemed really out of place. I never did really grow to like it much, and still am not overly fond of being called by my name. I seem to be more comfortable being "mom" or any of the names my husband uses for me "honey" being the most popular. At church I'm "Miss Adrian" to the kids which I don't mind as much. When I'm teaching professionally, I'll probably be "Ms. Ward" to the kids.
I remember once when my company hosted a bunch of French Canadians who thought my having a boy's name was really funny. They did however, teach me to say it properly, and when I told them my birth last name, they all told me how beautiful it was, and why did I ever change it? I explained I didn't have much choice. Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
I grew up going by my middle name, which is a unisex name. I hated it. Once we had a new music teacher who broke the class up into boys and girls just by reading down the list. She'd read your name and point you to the side of the room with your gender. My authority complex overrode my ability to speak out, and I meekly went over and stood with the boys, bawling. It also didn't help that my mom had just cut my hair short and I looked like a boy. I think it had far-reaching effects, added to the fact that people were always telling me how much I looked like my brother, and even now I don't think I look female without makeup on.
Ooh... I may have just discovered why I've been wanting to go by my first name since I got to college.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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quote: I certainly do that. I have a hard time trusting girls named Kate or Connie.
For me, it's Britneys and Tiffanys. But it's more of a stereotype than anything. A bit off-topic, but I thought of it when I saw the thread title. My bestest friend (gwan) falls madly in love with the guys with the worst names ever. Ex. Hector, Rudolpho, John-Duncan (thankfully shortened to JD), and the list goes on. If any of you know a Hubert or a Mortimer, let me know. Posts: 165 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
We named our daughter Emily after one of my wife's best friends, and our son Erik after one of my best friends. If we have another daughter we'll name her Diane, I think, and nickname her Annie.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
Well, I just read that article, and I must say that I'm not impressed. To me, it boiled down to not much more than that some people have problems, and that sometimes one's name can exacerbate mental problems.
But I enjoyed the last part of the article. It showed different ways of presenting the same name (John Smith vs. John W. Smith vs. J. W. Smith, etc.). For the way I sign my name (J. William Smith), it says
quote:"Suggests high self-opinion and vanity, especially when the middle name is uncommon; sometimes a happy solution for "juniors"
Since my middle name is uncommon, this is saying I have a high self-opinion, and/or am vain. Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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quote:Well, I just read that article, and I must say that I'm not impressed. To me, it boiled down to not much more than that some people have problems, and that sometimes one's name can exacerbate mental problems.
mph:
quote: However, support for the relationship between names and self-concept is available from the results of several scientific experiments. One of these was conducted by S. Gary Garwood of Tulane University (Garwood). Garwood asked a group of teachers to rate names as desirable or undesirable. He then gave a battery of psychological tests of personality and self-concept to a group of elementary school students and compared scores of the group with desirable names to the group with undesirable names. He found that members of the desirable-name group showed "a considerably higher level of adjustment" than the undesirable-name group. Furthermore, the students who had desirable names showed less conflict about how they felt about themselves.
Garwood's findings were basically the same as those of Orlo Strunk, Jr., of West Virginia Wesleyan College, who compared personal liking for one's first name with self-concept. Strunk concluded that "there appears to be a persistent tendency for individuals who dislike their first name to have less affirmative attitudes toward themselves than do those who like their first name" (Strunk). This seems to be a world-wide phenomenon, because D.J.W. Strumpfer of Port Elizabeth, South Africa, reported research results that "generally supported those of Strunk . . ." (Strumpfer).
For further details, see the bibliography, or do some Googling. It is readily accessible.
[ September 28, 2004, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
Posts: 2919 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
For me, it's Nicole and Alex. They're the names of my high school rival and ex-fiancee, respectively. I've since known some awesome people named Alex, but I would never consider it for a child.
On the flip side, I've never met an Amy that I didn't like.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
I'm a J. W. Baker in writing but a John Baker in speech. No explanation of weird people like that.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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It is, isn't it? The funny thing is, I hate the name Anthony... ![[Mad]](mad.gif)
