posted
or alternative title: Do any of those work-from home programs really work?
Let me give you the whole scenario -- this will take time but I REALLY need input because I am trying to help this person....
My ex-husband and I are friends. Talk nearly daily -- he sees our kids often. Everything that was water-under-the-bridge is just that - I've left it behind.
He's really basically a good guy, very intelligent (no, I don't still love him, thanks for asking). But he is about as down-and-out as anyone can get in life and I'm trying to find light at the end of the tunnel for him.
He's older than me, around 55. In the past 5 to 10 years he has developed steadily worsening health problems: respiratory problems, fluid on the lungs, COPD, stuff like that. He takes about 6 to 8 meds a day for various stuff.
He has a case on file asking the state for disability, because he can't stand/work for very long at all without having shortness of breath and other problems. His disability request has been in the works for months on end-- the state has a huge backlog, and he can't count on when it might come through -- even though Legal Aid is trying to help him get it pushed through.
In previous years, he was an OTR truck driver (had to quit when he had respiratory distress while driving and nearly caused a major accident), he has in the past owned his own remodeling/repair business, and has mostly done blue-collar work. He has a HVAC degree, but hasn't done that type of work in years.
Currently, he lives in a house on the slum side of our city -- the kind of neighborhood where you could barely give a house away. He's about the only one in his neighborhood that speaks English. So it is not a tight-knit place. But it is where he grew up and his family has owned the house since 1944. He lived there with his mother until she passed away. He keeps living there. The house is not in his name, but extended family allows him to keep living there, because no one else gives a flip about the place.
In the last two months, he has had his electricity shut off, the gas was shut off this week, and the water will be shut off next week. He gets limited food stamps and about $100 cash state aid, which he uses mostly for non-food-stamp items (like toilet tissue, soap, etc.)laundry and to either pay his cell phone bill or his trash bill (his cell phone is his only phone, and the only way he could call for help if needed).
He has no transportation. He hasn't been able to afford a car for a long time now, and has a suspended license due to a couple minor traffic violations that he could not pay for lack of money. Sometimes I let him use my truck (because he's a very good driver) but I know I'm taking a huge risk doing that. Mainly, the kids and I, or other friends of his, chauffer him arouund.
I'm trying to figure a way for him to dig himself out. I can't believe no public programs I have looked into work for him. He did a job-re-training program last year involving computer skills, and did okay until he developed pneumonia and missed two weeks. So that put him out of the program. He had a job a couple months back with a place that makes license tags (which specifically only hires disabled people) and the chemicals or whatever at that place sent him into respiratory distress every day that he showed up for work. His missed a week of work and was in the hospital with it because he was so sick, and had a doctor's note, but the company agreed it just wasn't going to work out for him because it always made him ill.
I can't keep loaning him money to keep him afloat. It's killing me. I have paid his water bill a couple of times, and his cell phone once, but I can't do much. He doesn't want to depend on us either. But he just can't find what to do.
If there is a way we can get his electricity turned back on when it comes around to the cold-weather act time -- he has a computer (that I gave him). Is there anything he can do at home to earn money? Not medical transcription - his typing rate is pretty slow.
I'm just out of ideas. He can't sell his house or mortgage it because it isn't in his name and already has a lien against it. He only has one sibling, and they haven't spoken to each other much in years (not close at all).
The United Way representative is going to be here at my work tomorrow as part of our pledge drive, trying to get us to "give" through our paychecks. I'm planning to ask that rep why people like this can't be helped. If it weren't for the family-owned house, he would be a homeless transient. My ex said if you notice, most all the transients in our area are white males (as he is). He said it is the only group of people that have no help from anywhere.
Any ideas? (No - he can't sell plasma because of his health problems).
My 17 year old son would like to move in with his dad, because it is in the city and he (my son) could maybe find a job nearby. But obviously he can't do this while the house has no utilities.
posted
Man, Farmgirl, that's a tough situation. No solutions are leaping to my mind, in terms of work, but I'll think about it and see what I can come up with.
The only thing that's occurring to me right now is that if your son got a job in the city, maybe he could live there in exchange for paying the utilities. That's not a great solution though, because assuming that your son would be working the kind of jobs I was able to get at 17, he might end up spending a pretty huge percentage of his paycheck on those utilities, even if they're fairly modest.
What kind of stuff does your ex do in his leisure time? I'm trying to get a better grasp of what kind of stuff the guy is capable of doing.
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posted
Yeah - that's what my son wants to do -- live there and help his dad. But we have to make it through the short-term first.
My ex is a people-person. Spends most of his free-time hanging around down at the local AA club (he hasn't drank in 25 years, but still likes to go to meetings and meet new people coming in). He has lots of charisma. (That's the only thing that has kept him alive this long -- friends and people who like him help him out now and then).
posted
Possibly -- (he can sell people on the idea of loaning him money *grin*). If it was a product he felt strongly about as well. He was actually fairly good in MLM several years back, but doesn't want to go that route again, I don't think.
What kind of sales would not have him on his feet too much?
Instead of having your son live there, can he rent out part of the house? You might have to help your ex pay off all the utility bills right now, but once the rent starts coming in he should be able to pay them himself.
It sounds like your husband would make a good customer service rep or a telemarketer. These jobs do require a bit of typing, but typing not the the most important part of the job. I read somewhere that some companies allow their telemarketers to work from home with broandband phones.
A "get rich" scheme that somewhat works is Ebay. My college roommate's ex girlfriend sells little charms, animal figurines, and concert tickets on Ebay. She makes about one to two thousand dollars a month doing this, but she's been doing it for a long time and she's very good at what she does.
The concert tickets require a large upfront investment and it may even be illegal in your state. So I don't recommend that.
The charms and animal figurines require a little initial investment (I think they are like $1 a piece and she sells them for $2-$5). She found her supplier online.
A way to do this without putting any money down as an initial investment (aside from Ebay auction fees which are negligible) is to find drop shippers. Drop shipping is an arrangement between you and the manufacturer of a product you wish to sell in which the manufacturer--not you--ships the product to your customers.
Posts: 1592 | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Those are some good starting ideas, vwiggin.
He has in the past "rented out" part of his house (one small room) but obviously can't do that until we can get all utilities working, which is what I'm trying to find a solution to at this time.
However his entire house is not much bigger than the living room of my house. It is probably 25 to 30 foot square (outside walls). So it is very tiny and someone would have to be really desparate to live there. Usually the desparate people who sometimes use his back room also have no money...
We have talked about E-bay. It is a good idea. It would require 1)electricity getting turned back on. 2) paying for an internet connection, and 3) figuring out what to sell. But it is definately an option if we get past those hurdles.
Thanks! Anyone else with more ideas? Are there any public programs I'm missing that can help him with utilities?
posted
Is there anything available through your church, or any of the other churches in the area?
I'm still trying to think of something that a charismatic people person who can't stand for long periods of time and has a very sensitive respiratory system could do (other than the Ebay stuff that's already been suggested).
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posted
You know, he might have luck selling Melaleuca products, or Amway, or something of that ilk. The key to being successful with that kind of thing is being charismatic. The only "on your feet" type stuff involved is walking from your car to the potential customer's home. I know that businesses like that get a bad rap, but with Melaleuca, anyway, the products are good, even if they're too pricy for me to be interested in buying them. Has he ever considered something like that?
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posted
Noemon -- not sure how to find out what churches offer. I will ask my pastor.
I've been doing some internet searches, and it looks like out in Los Angeles there is a "United Way Utility Assistance Program" but I can't find anything similar here. And, of course, the LIEAP cold weather rules don't got into effect for awhile, and even with that you have to make a partial payment first...
posted
Dana might be able to shed some light on how you could find out what kind of assistance problems churches offer, but in the meantime, asking your pastor about it is definitely a good idea.
What do you think about the Amway/Melaleuca idea?
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
Well, he used to be in a similar program, and did pretty well with it -- but they really try to get you to buy more and more yourself ("you can sell it better if you use it")and buy their "tools" (like tapes and promotionals, etc. and it actually got to be pretty expensive. Plus, there is an up-front cost to join.
But he's not necessarily opposed to those types of programs. And I know there are lots of them out there -- I use one myself. But the products are expensive.
posted
Have you called the utility company and explained the situation? In our area, there is an assistance program set up directly through the power company to help lower income folk ( funded through donations by customers). What a hard situation.
Posts: 1021 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
Yes -- I think he did that earlier this year. What they did was put him on a "payment plan", but then, of course, he had no money for the payments either (even though they were less than the total bill) so it didn't do any good.... Now they say "whole thing or nothing" and I can understand the utility company needing to set rules.
So what is needed is:
1) perhaps a charity to take care of all utilities to get them paid up-to-date so maybe he can carry it on his own going forward.
2) means of income in order to be able to pay monthly bills.
3) or else he needs the government to hurry up with his dad-gummed disability case!
posted
Farmgirl, many counties (at least in Indiana) have what's called a county trustee whose sole function is to distribute poor relief. My mother was one, so that's how I know about them. They can help with rent, utilities, groceries, you name it as long as the recipient needs help. I would suggest calling your county courthouse and seeing if someone can tell you if such a program exists in your area.
posted
Charisma and A.A.? That equals back to school for a BA in Psychology. Can he find work as a "house father" for a sobriety house? Does his A.A. club hire counter help? Is there a Community Action Council? they help with things like utilities . . .
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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GoodWill Salvation Army. Some counties have their own charity help (example is Sunshine House in Anderson South Carolina), Welfare offices also should have a list of places that help. The AA place might also have some ideas if that avenue hasn't been explored. Churches which has already been mentioned. I don't know much about STATE disability, but applying for Social Security Disability can take up to 2 years to get started. There is usually 3 turn downs (pretty standard, been there, done it). After the 3 denial one MUST get a SS lawyer because that is when it goes before a judge. Most of those work on contingency plus sometimes a small charge for expenses. Social Security is usually broken up into 6 month increments. Every 6 months is a denial until it is approved. If it is approved, you receive all back pay EXCEPT for the first 6 months. SSI (the state disability help) is about as rigorous as Social Security. Maybe a few less hoops to jump through. There may be other local charities that are aren't nationally known like GW or SA.
Sorry. Thats all I can think of.
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posted
Goodwill in many areas sponsors job-training and offers jobs to the disabled that are tailored to what they can do. Perhaps that would help.
Posts: 2848 | Registered: Feb 2003
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I'm planning to ask that rep why people like this can't be helped.
Because he won't let you. If he was willing to move in and become a dependent, you could worry about him. But I don't know how goood that would be for him.
In general I'd say working from home takes more discipline and hard work than working for someone else. I know it sounds as if health problems are his main concern, but if there is any element of ...uh... lack of initiative, that would be a concern. It seems like he needs some serious help with therapy for anxiety or something.
My husband has a tendency to fall ill just when it is the worst thing that could happen for him professionally and financially. He also needs help. But until he comes to that realization on his own, there is not a lot I can do about it.
P.S. Sorry to be so bleak and project my issues onto your situation I just get a little reactive when I hear of a man blaming his lack of success on his health.
quote: My husband has a tendency to fall ill just when it is the worst thing that could happen for him professionally and financially. He also needs help. But until he comes to that realization on his own, there is not a lot I can do about it.
Oh - pooka -- I agree with you. I really think he spent so many years as a hypochondriac that eventually he made himself sick with real problems. When I was married to him he had much the same behavior you described above -- it was like self-fulfilling prophecy.
He knows he needs help, and has sought help, and was for awhile on an anti-depressant. I don't know if he still is. But despite the fact that he does have the issues you point out, his current health problems are very real (making it easier for me to feel sympathatic -- something I really couldn't do for years).
He goes through many peaks and valleys. I'm just trying to get him out of this valley this time, and back to a peak again. Then it is up to him with whether or not he can maintain staying there.
And I'm doing this for my kids as much as for him.
Farmgirl
yes -- I'm trying hard to NOT be an "enabler" - for those of you familiar with the term
posted
He could use the library to access the internet for now (for things like Ebay). Or your home. Tell him to think of it not as your house, but as a place he goes to school or work.
How good is your transportation system?
And on the internet are many computer training programs, quite a few of them free. At the library as well would be computer books that he could read. Formalized training is not always necessary. How well does he already know computers and the internet?
He could perhaps do jobs like tech support at an ISP.
Posts: 438 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
Farmgirl, I know he is working through Legal Aid, but has he been assigned a social worker? Even with being overbooked, they often have tricks and contacts at their fingertips for things like this.
(BTW, I think if there is a heaven, social workers get a free pass. They are the ones at the gates, staving off the barbarians. Thankless task for the most part.)
Posts: 2919 | Registered: Aug 2004
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City bus is about all we have. He uses that when he has the money for fare. I will remind him about the library internet -- he used to use that long ago before I gave him an old computer.
Definately not coming to my home. It is 40 miles from the city, and I would have to transport him to/from. And my mom hates him.
He has only basic computer skills -- software applications, etc. Although he probably could be a pretty good technician (hardware work) if trained. But there are LOTS of people in our area always looking for PC jobs...
posted
How does he get a social worker? Is that through SRS? (that's the name of our state welfare services). He has some person in SRS he is supposed to "report to" in case of income change/status change, etc. (that would affect his food stamps) But I don't know if they do anything else for him.
posted
My training is through a hospital, and we have our own assigned social workers. However, I've asked about this in the past for my clinic patients, and I've been told that a primary care provider can always refer to social work services int he community.
I can do a quick check for you online, too. Would you be comfortable with posting his city or town here? (no names necessary)
Posts: 2919 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Oh Sara -- I didn't see your post above until now -- sorry!
Sure - it's right here in Wichita, Kansas
I did talk to the United Way rep, and she said to check with American Red Cross and also Catholic Charities -- they both have programs to help get utilities turned back on. He said he had applied to Red Cross once before and was told "he didn't qualify" -- and I said, "why didn't you qualify - what about your situation made it so you didn't qualify?" and he didn't know. (Gosh - if HE doesn't qualify as a nearly-homeless person, who does?)
So I'm trying to figure out some time I can take an afternoon off myself and drive him to these two charities and see if anyone will help him get his utilities back on.
quote: James 2:14 -- What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15-Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16-If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17-In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. 18-But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.
posted
Is he by any chance a veteran? Your county veteran services probably has funding for emergency utilities, food, transportation, etc.
Posts: 1379 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
would he be able to be a tutor at a college? Our local community college pays about $6/hour for tutors, I think. I made that much 1 1/2 years ago just for taking and transcribing notes in a class I was already taking. The notes were for a student who is deaf. My stepmom worked as a tutor in the same college some years prior to that.
Also, the county I live in does have county relief, but your income has to be really, really low - like $350 or less per month. There should be some social service organizations that may be able to help, though - find out where the LIHEAP applications are being taken and that's a starting point.
Posts: 2034 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
That is a great verse. I think we read something like that for Harvest of Hope. I liked when they said, "When you help another person it's like helping Jesus." I wish I helped people more. Do you have a St. Vincent De Paul society? When I was about to be evicted one time I asked them for help. They did not, but, it's worth a shot...
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Farmgirl, I would start with his primary care physician and see if they can do a referral to a caseworker. He doesn't necessarily need to be seen by the physician -- you could try just talking to his nurse, first, and find out whay resources they have information about.
If he were to become hospitalized again, he could request a consultation with the hospital social worker, who could cut through a lot of the red tape.
Additionally, you can fill out an online application for him at the SRS Self-Assessment Form webpage. You need to know his current monthly income (0?) and additional assistance ($100?). Note that these are supposed to be rounded down to the nearest hundred.
Also note that you should mark him as disabled, even though the determination of disability has not yet been finalized:
quote:Count anyone who lives with you who is disabled and qualifies for Social Security Disability Insurance or Supplemental Security Income payments; or anyone who has a physical or mental condition and cannot work, even if they do not qualify for SSDI or SSI at this time ... [italics added]
Given your information above, it looks like he might qualify fof the following:
- Additional cash assistance through the General Assistance Program (maybe his current amount was calculated on an income which he does not currently have)
- The Kansas Low Income Energy Assistance Program (LIEAP) (note that although the application period has ended for this year and they require "a recent history of payments toward purchase of the primary heating energy," this might be an option for him next year, and the program might have a list of additional energy utilities assistance programs if the ones you already have do not pan out)
- Kansas Vocational Rehabilitation Services. Although those already receiving SSI or SSDI are assumed to be eligible, this is not a prerequisite:
quote:To receive vocational rehabilitation (VR) services, you must:
• Have a physical or mental impairment which results in a substantial impediment to employment; • Be able to benefit, in terms of an employment outcome, from VR services; and • Require VR services to prepare for, secure, retain or regain employment. ... In determining whether you are eligible, we will use existing information as much as possible. This information could include employment, medical or school records; information from Social Security; or information you and your family provide. We may also request additional information needed for our preliminary assessment. For example, if needed, your counselor may ask you to get an up-to-date medical exam. Also, special medical exams, such as eye or hearing tests, may be needed. Medical and vocational assessments required to determine eligibility will be provided at no cost to you. Your assistance in providing needed information and keeping all scheduled appointments will be appreciated.
Your counselor will let you know if you are eligible as soon as possible. Determination of your eligibility should be completed within 60 days of your application.
These and other programs about which the online self-assessment will return a summary have online applications. I think this is a great way to access the system, but I'd feel most comfortable if he were assigned a caseworker to puzzle through this an advocate for him. If you get stymied at the primary physician's office, I can try to make some phone calls as well and see if I have any better luck. Unfortunately, I don't know how things work in Kansas and I am only a pediatrician, but I don't have to clarify that unless asked specifically.
Good luck! Keep fighting the good fight. He is indeed lucky to have you in his life.
[ October 24, 2004, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
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posted
Note too that he will be eligible for certain programs through the Kansas Department on Aging (such as help with prescription drug coverage) once he turns either 60 or 65, depending on the program.
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His Primary Care physician suddenly decided to drop him (and other Medicaid patients, I think) last week, but he has already found another one -- this time through the KU School of Medicine, and will have his first appointment there next week. I am hopeful that this will help, and that this doctor will be able to do more for him. Most KU School of Med doctors are really residents/interns or whatever working under supervision, but they are young and fresh and eager to help people (haven't been jaded by the profession, I don't think) so I will have him ask the new doctor for a caseworker.
CaySedai -- that isn't a bad idea -- he is very smart and a whiz at math. So tutoring may be an option if transportation can be worked out.
He is aware of the LIEAP programs and has talked to the utilities. They MUST turn him back on for cold weather IF he can come up with a portion of the payment prior to them turning back on (they each have a different amount they say he must pay to do that). That is the what I am working on right now. Just enough to get them to turn him back on.
Hopefully this week will I can take him to some of these places to fill out paperwork to get the ball rolling...
Okay -- his water and electricity is back on for the moment, thanks to some strong communication between me and utility and some partial payments from his cash-assistance check Nov. 1 (and now they will have to stay on through March due to cold weather rule).
But gas -- which is his heating source - is not on, and needs the same kind of partial payment to have the cold weather rule go into effect. (no hot water, no heat, no cooking fuel)
So yesterday I drove him to three different charity organizations to see about getting utility assistance to get gas turned on because it's getting COLD.
And I found out local charities have what I call a "radio-contest" system of helping with utilities.
Each place said, "We only take requests for utility assistance via PHONE, and only on Mondays beginning at 8 AM. Only the first 3 people who call get an appointment to come in and counsel with us to see if they qualify for assistance."
So basically, speed-dial on Monday mornings only, be caller # 1, 2, or 3, that actually gets through to the number, and you will at least get an appointment. That doesnt' mean you will get assistance -- just that you will get to talk to someone about maybe getting assistance.
I thought this was an idiotic system, but after thinking about it a bit, I really can't think of a better way to suggest to them that they do it.
So if we cross this one other hurdle, then perhaps we can start working on how to get him enough income to pay the utilities monthly going forward. And he sees his new doctor next week, which will send more information onto the state to speed up his disability.
posted
That does seem like a ridiculous way of handling it, but yeah, if their resources are that limited there isn't much else they can do. You could increase his chances of getting help by having as many people as possible call for him each Monday.
In the meantime, I'd say loan him a ceramic space heater. They're relatively efficient, produce heat nearly instantly upon being switched on, and aren't a fire hazard the way older space heaters are.
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posted
Does he have an electric or a gas stove? If it's electric, he can help to heat his place by keeping a pot of water boiling on the stove all the time.
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posted
Yeah - he's got a little electric ceramic space heater he is using for now (borrowed) but I hate to use them for very long because they really send the electric bill up.
Gas stove -- but he's using my propane Coleman camp stove inside and keeping water on it to warm up the place.
We're supposed to have nice weather this weekend, so hopefully he will need neither for a few days.
Great suggestions, Noemon. I've also had great success with $40 portable radiators (from places like Home depot and Lowe's). Very safe. I made it through a Wisconsin winter with nothing more than that.
It looks like Home Depot has reasonable options for portable heaters in the $20-50 range.
[Edit: hey! my radiant heater (oil-based, completely sealed, looks like a portable steam radiator) was really cheap on the electric bill.]
[ November 04, 2004, 12:39 PM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
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posted
I was about to say the same thing. If he's going to be using one of these indoors, a CO detector is essential.
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posted
We sometimes he IS a headache but he doesn't have headaches...
Yeah -- he knows. He used to do heating/air conditioning work. He is sure to be careful. But thanks for your concern.
Posts: 9538 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Farmgirl, is he able to work at all now? I mean, if he could sit down most of the day, could he work?
I was thinking of all the guys that work at the counters for the plumbing supply places. Wes complains that they always get orders wrong because they have people working there who don't know plumbing.
Since he does know HVAC, would he be able to get a job working the counter at an HVAC supply store maybe? With a stool or chair to sit on behind the counter? With his expertise, he'd be better qualified than most applicants, I'd think.
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posted
That's a good idea, Belle. Yes, he can work if it is mostly a sit-down job (and he used to also complain about those parts-counter guys).
I think a couple things are major strikes against him when he tries for jobs like this:
1) his age 2) his health -- when they are aware of his problems (which he really has to do in order to make it clear what kinds of things he can and can't do) -- I think it makes them gun-shy due to insurance costs, etc. Nobody wants to hire on someone that is going to make insurance premiums rise for everyone else at that company.
But if he did it part-time, sans benefits, maybe it could be done.
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