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Topic: New and Improved State Mottos

beverly
Member
Member # 6246

posted

...you know, the sort of thing you would put on a bumper sticker. But ones that tell the story that the state would rather not emphasize.

Examples:

Texas: We are full of ourselves for no good reason.

Utah: Mormons as far as the eye can see, except for where there is sagebrush. And there are Mormons there too.

Kansas: Driving thru our state kills brain cells, so we will make a fortune off of your speeding tickets.

Feel free to replace ones already posted if you think you've got a better one. [Razz]

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mr_porteiro_head
Member
Member # 4644

posted

About a third of them would be "At least we aren't _____" (fill in state that they like to mock).

For example, Oklahoma could be "At least we aren't Arkansas".

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Dagonee
Member
Member # 5818

posted

Here's a city slogan: Baltimore - all the charm of a northern city, all the efficiency of a southern city.

I'm efficient with my offendin'

Dagonee

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Glenn Arnold
Member
Member # 3192

posted

Missouri - Gateway to Kansas

Oregon - To Hell with how they do it in California!

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Ginol_Enam
Member
Member # 7070

posted

quote:
For example, Oklahoma could be "At least we aren't Arkansas".

That made me chuckle.

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Synesthesia
Member
Member # 4774

posted

Kansas-Yes, it really is that flat.

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MyrddinFyre
Member
Member # 2576

posted

We need this one...

Rhode Island: NOT a part of NY

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beverly
Member
Member # 6246

posted

But, but, it's so *small*!

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MyrddinFyre
Member
Member # 2576

posted

Rhode Island: Size doesn't matter.

[Razz]

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Verily the Younger
Member
Member # 6705

posted

Alaska: Yes. Yes, it does.

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Ryuko
Member
Member # 5125

posted

Minnesota's would definitely be "At least we're not North/South Dakota".

Actually, another good one is "Not the coldest state in the union since 1959."

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Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Iowa: We're not just corn!

California: Our governor can beat up your governor.

California: Our governor can't pronounce your state's name either.

Minnesota: Proud sponsor of WWF

Nevada: Yeah, yeah, Vegas is that way --->

West Virginia: Nope, you must've made a wrong turn at Pennsylvania.

Florida: Winter Headquarters of The Empire State

Florida: Bienvenidos a Cuba Norte

Florida: Key West is just like New Orleans. Trust us.

Georgia: Fabulous Peaches and prisons.

Montana: What're you lookin' here for? Look up! It's the sky. BIG SKY!

Washington: Catch a Ferry?

Texas: Repellant Borders!

Oregon: We used to have trees. Lots of 'em.

Idaho: Dan Quayle's nemesis: P-O-T-A-T-O-E-S

Colorado: Praying for California's economy to improve again. Go Home! Really! Now! We mean it.

Mississippi: I-10 runs through it

Louisiana: Party! Parrrrr-teeeee. Unless you're from around here.

Louisiana: We have no idea who we are.

Pennsylvania: We sure now how to pick industries, don't we?

New Jersey: The Garden State: Keep off the grass.

New Jersey: We wiped out NYC's shipping industry.

New Jersey: Which exit are you from?

Massachusetts: What accent?

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Verily the Younger
Member
Member # 6705

posted

Alaska: We make Texas look puny.

Alaska: Gateway to Russia.

Alaska: Like Canada, but with fewer Canadians.

Alaska: Warm nearly four whole months a year.

Alaska: The sun never sets on Alaska. Except in the winter, when it never rises.

Alaska: The only state Orson Scott Card hasn't visited yet. But he should. Please Mr. Card? I'll do your laundry. . . .

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peterh
Member
Member # 5208

posted

Arizona: Yes, it really is that hot here!

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mr_porteiro_head
Member
Member # 4644

posted

Utah: Yes, I am a Mormon, but it's not safe to assume that just because I'm from Utah. [Grumble]

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Teshi
Member
Member # 5024

posted

Alaska, Nunavut, NWT and Yukon: Land of the Midday Gloom.

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Khavanon
Member
Member # 929

posted

Florida: We can spell geriatric

California: Delusions of grandeur are welcome here

Texas: My little three year old could shoot the walnuts off your little yorkie from 300 yards

Oregon: Stay out

Delaware: It's not like you're going to read this anyway

Arizona: You could try to rob me, if you can get through my prickly yard

North Dakota: A little more confident than Delaware

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Yozhik
Member
Member # 89

posted

Utah: We'd like to share a special message with you

West Virginia: We do TOO have electricity

New Jersey: No motto, because NJ is not actually a state. The western half is just Pennsylvania with better Italian food, and the eastern half is what happened when NYC metastatized.

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Boris
Member
Member # 6935

posted

Rhode Island: So what if the name doesn't fit inside the state on any map?

North Carolina: Ummm...Michael Jordan?

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rivka
Member
Member # 4859

posted

Yozhik wins points for the Utah motto, but loses them all for the NJ motto. [Razz]

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Goody Scrivener
Member
Member # 6742

posted

Awww, Rivka, I loved NYC metastasizing!

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mackillian
Member
Member # 586

posted

Alaska: Nine months of winter, three months of bad sledding.

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rivka
Member
Member # 4859

posted

I'm from NJ, originally. It has an identity distinct from NY and Pennsylvania, thankyewverymuch. [Razz]

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Derrell
Member
Member # 6062

posted

Arizona: Yes, but it's a dry heat.

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Vadon
Member
Member # 4561

posted

Utah: Churches, the Starbucks of Utah, one on every corner... just without the coffee.

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Tstorm
Member
Member # 1871

posted

Actually, Kansas has a new motto, for promotional purposes. I've seen some of the ads.

I actually kinda liked the older motto, "Land of Ahs," but I guess the new one works.

<drumroll>

"Kansas: As Big as You Think"

Let the renewed Kansas jokes begin again.

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Lyrhawn
Member
Member # 7039

posted

No one has done a Michigan one yet? Well I guess I'll have to represent.

Michigan: We look like a mitten.

Michigan: You mean you DON'T know how to play Euchre?

Michigan: Gateway to Canada

Michigan: We make cars, cars and Vernor's.

Yeah I can't think of a whole lot for my own state, I guess we're just too awesome to make fun of.

Montana: How fast can you drive?

Wyoming: What's the point?

Texas: We used to be our own country!

California: Our GNP is higher than Africa's, booyah!

I'm really not good at this, I should go back to the ad campaign thread.

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Lucky4
Member
Member # 1420

posted

Tennessee: What? Shoes are uncomfortable!

Tennessee: I see Elvis at least twice a week.

Tennessee: Marry your cousin, there's fewer people to invite to the wedding.

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Yozhik
Member
Member # 89

posted

Where in NJ were you from, rivka? I've lived up in Hunterdon County since 2003, but I'm originally from Pennsylvania.

And do you say "cawfee" instead of "coffee"?

[ January 23, 2005, 01:54 PM: Message edited by: Yozhik ]

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rivka
Member
Member # 4859

posted

Edison. Which is not far from Princeton, which is where I was born.

[edit] We left when I was seven, so I only have a very slight accent, and only on some words. I do not say "cawfee" *shudder*. [Wink]

[ January 23, 2005, 01:57 PM: Message edited by: rivka ]

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Hermocrates of Syracuse
Member
Member # 7233

posted

Indiana: We came up with Gary, Micheal Jackson, and Ron Artest

Indiana: Stuck in the middle with nothin to do

Indiana: Slightly less inbred than Kentucky

Indiana: Home of men driving in circles 200 times

Indiana: Nuke us, please

Indiana: Car jacking around these parts is called assisted suicide

[ January 23, 2005, 02:01 PM: Message edited by: Hermocrates of Syracuse ]

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Annie
Member
Member # 295

posted

Montana: Sorry it's windy; Idaho blows and North Dakota sucks.

Montana: Almost like heaven - it will be when you move out.

Indiana: One big granfaloon

Colorado: Welcome to Colorado, a registered trademark of North Face.

Wyoming: Civilization, 783 miles

Washington: 3 days of glorious sunlight a year

Texas: You can't spell Texas without W.

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Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

North Dakota: We're the one without Mount Rushmore.

Kentucky: Where the grass is always bluer.

Iowa: Tune to 610 on your dial for the latest Farm Report.

Michigan: Future rust belt of America.

Washington: Housing bubble by Microsoft.

Illinois: Where the dead come to vote.

Vermont: The other cheeseheads

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Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Wisconsin: Lactose intolerant need not apply

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BelladonnaOrchid
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Member # 188

posted

Oklahoma:We really do have paved roads.

Oklahoma:At least we can read our ballots.

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dread pirate romany
Member
Member # 6869

posted

Washington: Don't like our weather? Wait 5 minutes.

Washington: The Mildew State

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Yozhik
Member
Member # 89

posted

There's more than corn in Indiana, but not much more.

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beverly
Member
Member # 6246

posted

Just barely popped my head back in here. Some of these are great! I think I will make a list of my favorites.

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foundling
Member
Member # 6348

posted

Hey! You all forgot the rest of New England! And there is so much fodder available!

New Hampshire - Live free or DIE! (and that ones real!)
New Hampshire - Get off my land or DIE!
New Hamphsire - Get off my sheep or DIE!
New Hampshire - Where hard headed takes on a whole new meaning...
New Hampshire - The Granite balls state

Vermont - Bring your mother!
Vermont - Soft green hills and soft green politics. What more could you want?
Vermont - Hey, California? This is Burlington... could we come over there, please? They smell bad out there. We'll bring Ben and Jerry...

Maine - If you aint Canadian, we dont want ya, ayup.

Massachusets - Massholes

[ January 23, 2005, 07:28 PM: Message edited by: foundling ]

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foundling
Member
Member # 6348

posted

Vermont - Did you know that Montpelier is the state capital? Neither did we.

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Risuena
Member
Member # 2924

posted

quote:
Here's a city slogan: Baltimore - all the charm of a northern city, all the efficiency of a southern city.

I have to defend Baltimore - Washington is the city famously known for it's northen charm and southern efficiency.

Besides, Baltimore already has two unofficial city mottos - the city that bleeds and the city that breeds, because it certainly isn't the city that reads, no matter what the mayor says.

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mackillian
Member
Member # 586

posted

New Hampshire: We take "Or Die" very seriously.

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beverly
Member
Member # 6246

posted

Foundling, those were awesome. [Big Grin]

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mr_porteiro_head
Member
Member # 4644

posted

quote:
Washington: Don't like our weather? Wait 5 minutes.

In every place I've ever lived, the people said that about that place. They always think it's a really clever way of distinguishing them from everybody else. Just like everybody else does.

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Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Missouri--not Misery.
Missouri--Yeah, we got Branson.

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beverly
Member
Member # 6246

posted

And I don't think it applies to Washington at all . This phrase only applies to states with turbulent weather--you know, big thunderstorms that blow through like the maw of hell itself, and then all is sunny and peaceful in 5 minutes. Basically, any state in the mid-west.

In Washington it's more like: Don't like our weather? Tough. Go somewhere else. [Big Grin]

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MEC
Member
Member # 2968

posted

Wisconsin: Drink milk or die

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Taberah
Member
Member # 4014

posted

New Hampshire: See our only state landmark, the Old Man of the Moun--NOOOOO!!

Random fact about New Hampshire: the (real) state motto, "Live Free or Die," appears on all New Hampshire license plates. Those license plates are made in . . . you guessed it, the state prisons.

And now to my own dear state.
North Carolina: Only "North" in the sense that we're above South Carolina, dagumit.

North Carolina: Krispy Kreme and Orson Scott Card

North Carolina: Don't screw with us, or we'll bring out Jesse Helms.

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foundling
Member
Member # 6348

posted

North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable

Oregon: Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner

South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Wyoming: Where the Men are Men, and the sheep are scared

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Ohio: Don't Judge Us by Cleveland - or - We Wish We Were In Michigan

New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

Nevada: Whores and Poker!

Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism

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foundling
Member
Member # 6348

posted

I forgot my favorite state!
Washington: Help! We've Been Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

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